Wednesday, May 18, 2011

John & Suzyn's Cultural References Of The Game,
Brought To You By Wildroot Cream-Oil

(John & Suzyn devote a fraction of each broadcast to their conviction that nothing worth remembering happened in popular culture after most of you were born and ruined everything. To help you understand how beautiful this world was until you came along with your your hip-hop and your sugary beverages and your Rolling Stones, we will occasionally footnote their allusions to the smoother, better-dressed, utterly foreign era they still inhabit.)

Pre-game:

Gushing about the Yankees' slump-busting win in Tampa, John cited This Could Be The Start Of Something Big, an uptempo number written by Steve Allen, a comedian who hosted The Jay Leno Show during the McCarthy Era.

Top second:

John & Suzyn giddily named half a dozen show tunes identified with Mary Martin, a Broadway star from an era so remote that even her famous son faded decades ago.

Top third: 

John's nickname for Francisco Cervelli, The Cisco Kid, refers to a racist kiddie show about Mexicans (1950-1956).

Middle seventh:

I'm about ready to give up. This game is going by so quickly--it's only 8:50 and look where we are--that John can't shoehorn a reference to anything in anywhere. "I have things to say," he laments, "but there's no time."

Top tenth: 

Suddenly, this doesn't seem important anymore.

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6 comments:

JM said...

Girardi has become almost as much of a knee-jerk moron as Torre was. Colon has a three hitter, is throwing in the mid 90s, has a shutout going, and has about 85 pitches after 8. He dominates in the 8th.

So naturally, you check the rule book and bring in Rivera. At which point old and gray heads throughout the Yankiverse say, "This is a mistake."

And it's a mistake.

But the rule book said!! Look, right there!!

What a fucking moron.

Stang said...

Girardi's brain needs Colon's stem cells.

JM said...

You got that right.

By the way, is it inconceivable for Joe II to realize that the greatest closer of all time is an old guy who's still a pretty darn good closer, but nowhere near lights out?

Old stars don't die, they sadly just blow more games than they ever did, and with greater regularity.

Maybe Mariano and Jorge could get some of them there stem cells from Barty....

JM said...

I think it was the late Joe Besser who said, "Ooooh, I'm so mad!"

Joe De Pastry said...

John M-
As Stinky on the Abbott and Costello show?

JM said...

Joe--

Yes, indeed.

We are old, dude.