Yankeetorial: Be proud of our team for rising above petty animosities, forgiving their enemies and accepting beanballs like gentlemanly good sports

Stand back, folks, or you might get hit by my buttons popping, because Yankee pride is hard to hide today!

Last night, the Yankees showed that - yes! we can break the cycle of violence that grips baseball! Yes! we're not going to sacrifice our commitment to peace and nonviolent conflict resolution. Yes! they can throw at our players, potentially crippling them, but we will not lower ourselves and retaliate.

Today, we are the New York Gandhis!

Oh, yes - we flinched when they put Mark Teixeira on the ground with what looked like a potentially career-ending pitch. Lesser teams would have turned angry. NOT US! Nope. In fact, we offered an olive branch in the form of a gopher ball to Big Papi, so he could flip the bat cleverly and show up our good-hearted, charity-minded pitching staff.

Hit us in the head? No problem. We'll turn the other cheek!

Thank God we won't be drawn into that tired old cliche of protecting your teammates. Let's show the world that we're not afraid to lose -- because we'll have something they can NEVER take away from us. Third place.

Congratulations, Yankees! You may be headed for the second division, but you are leading in the pennant race for the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize.

As the good book says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall finish fourth in the AL East."