Friday, September 9, 2011

Core Four coming to Yankee Stadium: Anthrax, Metallica, Slayer and Megadeth

Shit! Goddamm! Get off yo ass and jam, mathafaccas, cuz this aint no peace train, gahh! Yeahhhhh, baby!

Wednesday, Yankee Stadium becomes the House that Rock Built, when 1980s hitmakers Anthrax, Metallica, Slayer and Megatheth converge upon the Bronx for a swingin' night of toe-tapping melodies straight from Hell - or in this case, its gated suburb - Heck.

The four sets of leatherlunged tunesmiths will launch their musical journey down Memory Lane on the hallowed grounds of Ruth and Gehrig (Note: This is p.r. truth; even though it's a new stadium, and thus Ruth and Gehrig, technically, never touched the place, it's considered close enough for ad purposes.) The jubilant crowd, while texting their babysitters, will pay homage to the good old days, when Ronald "Rude Boy" Reagan was President, budget deficits didn't matter, and Ozzy Osbourne was a blood-drinking demon spawn, rather than a muttering British doink who can't open a garbage bag without being yelled at by his wife. Who knows: Maybe there will be a guest appearance from Judas Priest! Or Lenny and Squiggy! Or Billy Joel!

Get your luxury box mosh pit seats now, Wall Street titans! And get ready to rock!

3 comments:

Vic Damone said...

John and Suzy said I was going to get that gig?

John said...

Anthrax homers again. It's just infectious!

Bill in White Plains said...

Is there a marker across the street to show the exact location of "Mick's BJ Spot" where the right field bleachers were ?