Yankiverse ecstatic over impending Raul Ibanez signing

Power wash the Canyon of Heroes! Boob job for Lady Liberty! Electrically reanimate Rudy Giuliani. The secret is out: Raul Ibanez, our long-awaited LH-DH, is almost in the fold.

Raul Ibanez...

Raul. Ibanez.

If you were still wondering if Old George is truly dead - that he might be living on some remote island where his plane crashed with a bunch of TVgenic mystery characters - give it up. We now have the satellite photos that prove the Yankees have gone from a passion-fueled franchise to a soul-less, spreadsheeted corporation that would build an army of orcs, if it could save ten dollars on Purina Orc Chow.

George loved to bring old Yankees back for a last chance. Try to imagine him telling Johnny Damon - as Brian Cashman did this week - that his great games for the Yankees means nothing, that on the basis of some scouting report, or some memo, the Yankees prefered a National Leaguer over an old teammate, one who helped lead us from a dark period.

I recognize it's a business. Also, as has been often stated, this blog is about Yankee Ids - we don't pretend to be scouts, or analysts, or sportswriters, or mathematicians. It's a passion blog. And the Yankees right now - being led by an executive clearly trying to keep personal passions to a minimum - look like a joyless and brutal organization.

Well, maybe it'll work. Maybe we'll win. I promise not to root against Ibanez, or Pineda, or anybody else we bring in at the expense of old friends. But George Steinbrenner, for all his foibles, would never have let Brian Cashman take the phone call from Johnny Damon. He would have taken it himself, and we'd have Johnny on a plane to New York within an hour. Moreover, Johnny would make damn certain - as we all suspect he will in 2012 - that he outhits Raul Ibanez, to show the Yankees who they should have signed.

Wait a minute. Lady Liberty would look incredible with a boob job.