Put Gardy in the All-Star Game, or don't bother to watch

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Did I dream we signed and released Burt Reynolds?

That must be it. I been bloggin' too long. It's becoming a flashback haze. It seems like just yesterday, I was watching Billy Crystal striking out again. Now this. Burt Reynolds? Are we going to sign Clint Eastwood? Bruce Willis? Arnold? If we signed Burt Reynolds for two weeks, why didn't we take a flier on Steven Sagal? Or Katey Sagal? Or that big lug who plays "Opie" on Sons of Anarchy; the beard would have to go, but he'd sure look mean coming off the bus. Did we really sign Burt Reynolds? Wasn't there once a Cardinal player named Lonny Anderson? Why didn't we sign him? Remember: We were once the team of Ozzie Canseco. It's like some alternative universe, like that guy on that new TV show who goes in and out of two worlds. Does Ozzie Canseco tweet? Am I now in a world where Burt Reynolds was a Yankee, Adam Sandler played a QB in "The Longest Yard," and Terry Francona is taking our side in disputes with a Redsock manager? Yeesh. Next thing you know, I'll believe Alphonso is in Florida, examining stool samples of Yankee prospects. I think I'm losing it. Burtie, we hardly knew ye.

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