Exclusive: Yankees found to sell sartorial cause of Trayvon Martin's death

The Yankees are placing millions of their fans in half-danger, often at prices as low as $29.95.

This website has learned of Yankee burqa-like garments currently being sold on the open market, even though their head-cloaking design is linked to 50 percent of the shooting death of teenager Trayvon Martin, according to Fox News liberal spokesperson/investigative reporter Geraldo Rivera (not related to Mariano.)

We are referring to the "hoodie," similar to the notorious invisibility device used in the Harry Potter movies, whose name alone conjures imagery of "hoods" and "die." Rivera - speaking on Fox, the nation's electronic babysitter for the elderly - blamed the offensive and threatening sportswear for forcing Florida Neighborhood Watch Capt. George Zimmerman to shoot Martin, apparently believing he was a young President Obama.

In an appeal to America, Rivera (not related to Mariano) said:

I am urging the parents of black and Latino youngsters, particularly, to not let their young children go out wearing hoodies. I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was.

Amen.

We at IT IS HIGH hereby call upon the Yankees, and their surrogates across America, to help unauthorized neighborhood non-police patrols fulfill their non-responsibilities, without victimization! Ban the Death Hoodie.