Thursday, March 15, 2012

Well, they wanted Michael Pineda to work on the change-up; they just didn't expect it to become his fastball

The Yankiverse today is in a state of stark fear - the kind of sheer terror that Brian Cashman must feel when rappeling down a skyscraper to flee his stalker. (Or to leave her hotel room without being noticed, tsk tsk, if you catch my drift... run, pussycat, rrrrrow-)

Michael Pineda - or "Pinata," as he is being called - barely cracked 90 mph on the god-gun, the universal diving rod for pitchers, regardless of their ERA. Ninety is Colter Bean territory. Ninety is death. Ninety doesn't work with a guy for whom we betrayed Jesus, (a move that historicaly has been known to backfire.)

Already, rumor-mongers are mongering that Pinata will start the 2012 season at Empire State, wherever that is. (It's a state of mind, right? And in his case, it might be a suicidal one.) If so, that leaves us with one option, (after the feathers have hardened on Cashman): Root against Jesus. Yes, pray that Jesus isn't the next Albert Pujols for Seattle. If Michael Pineda cannot crack 95 on the Jesus-gun, I wouldn't want to be Brian Cashman, (even if he is scoring more than anybody on this blog.) Because the Pinata won't be Pineda. It will be the guy who traded for him.

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