Yankee brass to launch organizational meetings Monday

Eclipsing the World Series, the Yankee Pooh Bah Wine and Cheese Academy will convene Monday to discuss - along with Kim Kardarshian's latest selfies - the fate of the ongoing fiasco. Imagine Capt. Kirk requesting a damage report after the Enterprise just got hit in the groin by a nuclear bomb.

State of the farms? Well... captain, the system has no impact player, not one, ready to step in and play a meaningful role next year. We have nobody in Baseball America's recent International League Top 20 list of prospects. Nobody. The Redsocks and Rays each had three players on the list, both with two prospects in the top 8. The Eastern League? We have one player - JR Murphy - make the Top 20. (He's 18th.) The Redsocks have four. Four. Will this generate any discussion within the Peanut Gallery?

International signings? Standing firm, captain! In other words, nothing to report. Thursday, the White Sox landed the big Cuban hitter, Abreu, for $68 million. (The Redsocks bid $40 million on him; we sat it out.) Friday, the Redsocks signed a Cuban relief pitcher Dalier Hinojosa, who is 27. Listen:  I obviously have no sense of whether these guys are any good, but the fact that a smarter and far better-run organization than ours went after them them is probably not a good sign. We apparently intend to burn $70-$100 million on the posting rights to the Japanese pitcher, Tanaka - sort of as a way of showing the Steinbrenner/Murdoch-YES continuum still has gobs of money.  Well, if there such a thing as confidence in your organization, why should we have any in the Yankees?

Third base? Still waiting. MLB just postponed the A-Rod trial until after the World Series. Frankly, that doesn't help. If the hearings lag on - who knows how long they'll go - this could run into December, when we're trying to sign players and put together our lineup. Realistically, until A-Rod's future is decided, what actions can we take with regard to our infield?

I could ramble on. Hell, dammit, I WILL ramble on. If anything shy of a screaming food fight doesn't emerge from these meetings - furniture should get thrown out the window - than the Steinboys were adopted. I hope some Yankee fan waiter puts salt peter in the coffee. No, I take it back. I hope they give these gin-breathed bloat bags some Maui Wowie and LSD. I hope the meeting ends with Randy Levine shirtless, face covered with permanent magic marker pentagrams, singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, while Brian Cashman decides to rappel down the outside of the building. This is the saddest bunch of suits since Enron. They have managed to spend the most money money in baseball to build a bridge to nowhere. The latest news from the enabling courtier sports press says Hal is going to shell out millions for Brian McCann and Carlos Beltran - keep in mind, the only prospects we have are catchers; so much for them - and now, we're going to add another 38-year-old OF? While losing another first-round draft pick? This is exactly what we did in the early 1980s. Goddammit, will anybody mention that Monday?