Another one in the books: I went the entire run without watching one episode - no, not even one moment - of "How I Met Your Mother"

Or should I call it by its shorthand insider reference: HIMYM?

Nope. Never saw it. Swannnnnng and missed. Gone. Put her in the filing cabinet along with Home Improvement and King of Queens. Never touched a morsel. Never even knew what the hell I was missing.

Well, actually, no.... I think I do know. It was about the guy - can't think of his name - and he's with the hot actress, and they say funny things, like on Mike and Molly, (which I also missed) and they have hilarious neighbors and friends - hot looking, by the way - who show up with crazy points of view, and their conversations are always much funnier than mine, and I wish I were as witty as they are, but whenever I try to repeat whatever the hell they said, it doesn't recapture well. And they never laugh at each others jokes, but the studio audience goes wild, and damn - they are good looking - and there was that one incredible episode that nobody wanted to miss - and guess what? Wasn't there. I swannnnnnnng and missed.

So, philosophical question here: How many years do I have to still see every single episode of HIMYM during its zombie life in syndication?

Offhand, I'd say 20, which also corresponds to the years of cogent life I more or less expect to have, unless they invent a drug that cures having lived through the 1960s.

By the way, I'm still working on my first episode of Friends. I never watched it once, during its original run. But I'd estimate that I've seen the equivalent of 15 minutes, just from channel hopping and grazing for momentary sequences, until I think, "Wait a minute, isn't there a hockey game on somewhere?"

Today, I cannot help but be impressed with myself, especially as I see the warnings marked: SPOILER ALERT!

Go ahead, Internet! Take your shot! SPOIL AWAY! Ruin it for me! SPOIL ME, PEOPLE, SPOIL EVERY MINUTE! I made it through HIMYM. I have repelled another one of your timid, toothless attacks. You make me laugh. Mwahahahahah, cough.