Sunday, April 27, 2014
Thus far this season, we have seen an iconic catch (Ichiro), a pine tar incident (Pineda) and a meltdown (Cabral.) Yesterday, we almost had a Bartman.
Posted by el duque at 7:27 AM
So, obviously, the Yankees are on a trajectory here. Pageant-style re-enactments of big moments in baseball history. What's next?
1. A Billy/Reggie fight. This time it'll be Girardi, going after Jeter, maybe for bedding his wife. Larry Rothschild will be Yogi, holding Joe back. The ESPN cameras will catch everything, because Joe is too distracted to put his hand over the lens. Fox will bring back Tim McCarver to lament what's happening in the world.
2. Bloody sock. CC will cut himself on a broken bottle in the shower. (Isn't there a rule about only using cans?) He'll shut down Toronto, while blood seeps from his ankle. People will cry.
3. Yangervis Solarte will be revealed to be former stud pitching prospect Syd Fynch, who was wounded in a shooting long ago. He uses a bat named Wonder Boy. In the ninth inning against Boston, he'll call his shot, and then hit a homer. Yankee Stadium's entire lighting system will explode, plunging New York City into a blackout, which lasts several days, prompting riots, and leaving Snake Pliskin having to fight his way to New Jersey - only to find traffic cones have closed all the lanes but one. At that point, all of baseball is revealed to be a manifestation of The Matrix computers, and Yangervis learns that he can hover in the air and kick people in the mouth.