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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Knights of the Press Box

As our Peerless Leader has astutely noticed, even the likes of Allan, sorry, Joel Sherman are coming around to the idea of Winning With Youth!

But confusion still reigns. The Post was also just advocating that the Yanks deal away some of their "unbelievable depth" for some mutt starter. Then, on SNY's Sportsnite last night, the usual suspects were singing the praises of Aaron Hicks, suddenly transformed into an "incredible, all-around player," who is all but the second coming of Willie Mays.

I might put this down to Mets Derangement Syndrome.  A cry is now going up in Queens to bring up Tim Tebow, whom, in comparison to, I guess Hicks does indeed look like Mays.

Truth is, "incredible depth" is how you win.  We must stay reluctant to deal away anyone...save for Neil Walker, of course. Ignore them all.

Of course, at the Times...soccer reigns.

Our score is now Soccer 160, Yankees 120.

The Times is running 5-8 articles A DAY on The Sport With No Hands.

Hey, at least they don't give us silly trade ideas.

82 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

Give it time Hoss, give it time.

TheWinWarblist said...

Offered with minimal comment: https://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/domingo-german-seems-incredibly-talented/

ranger_lp said...

And if the U.S. qualified, it would have been more than 160 articles...jeez.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


So . . . were you rational, what would you hand over to the Yankees in exchange for one Larry Walker (unaccompanied by prospects)?????

What would you part with if the NYYs offered to pick up $2 million of his $4 million contract for '18....?

My answer: A limburger cheese sandwich, with a side of Brussel sprouts.

TheWinWarblist said...

I like Brussel sprouts of they are done right.

KD said...

But LEFTOVER Brussels sprouts are most vile.

TheWinWarblist said...

Even leftovers. Pancetta improves everything.

TheWinWarblist said...

I dare no spake of this, but Hicks started the game with a .825 OPS?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Shreve did his usual.

TheWinWarblist said...

Shreve must be crated off. None could say there are only worse options within the system.

TheWinWarblist said...

Hey it's only 4-0! Nothing to worry about. There won't be any problem scoring buckets of runs off of King Felix, right? That's why they call him King, right?

TheWinWarblist said...

Shreve is still working on pitching for the cycle. So there's that.

Leinstery said...

I think this team made a deal with the devil. They win a bunch of games and in exchange they are gave up the ability to string together a few hits with runners on base. I mean holy moly can these bums do anything other than 2-run HR their way to victory?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'm starting to like Holder. Must mean he's going to crap the bed soon.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'm a patriotic guy. I still don't like Kate Smith.

Give me Brother Ray and America any day. It should be the national anthem. Just that version. No stylings by untalented artists. Just the recording of Ray. Always.

Leinstery said...

Hear Hear Rufus. The floor is always just about to fall out on everyone. And enough with Kate Smith, give me this instead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--kwIkB4kJE.

Leinstery said...

Giancarlo strikes out. Was there ever any doubt?

Leinstery said...

My goodness, Gary just kick-started John's heart with that... and then Bird just flatlined him.

TheWinWarblist said...

Well now, this is getting interesting ...

TheWinWarblist said...

THAT'S GOT THE DISTANCE!!!!!!!!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

STANTONIAN HOME RUN, The Master is beside himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WINWARBLIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

WOWOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Stanton AND Sanchez, SLACKER-PA-LOOZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

TheWinWarblist SAYS
AAAA-AA-Ahh-AHHH-AAAHHHHH-AAaAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHaaaa-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaAaAaHaHaHaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!! AAAA-AA-Ahh-AHHH-AAAHHHHH-AAaAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHaaaa-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaAaAaHaHaHaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!

Unsustainable BABIP said...

First Sanchez, now Stanton. Didn’t see that coming.

Leinstery said...

As the biggest Stanton hater here, I did not see that coming at all. I was ready to turn off John in disgust when he inevitably struck out, boy was I surprised.

For those who didn't hear the Master live, I'll post whatever calls I can tomorrow because he turned himself to 11 tonight.

Unsustainable BABIP said...

Oh. Hats off to Leinstery and his uncannily accurate assessment of the Yankee MO.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Anonymous Ken of Brooklyn said...

"Stanton AND Sanchez, SLACKER-PA-LOOZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, what you said.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

YAS Leinster!!!! The Master went full tilt SPINAL TAP 11, his most excited Winwarble yet of 2018!!!!!!
WOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO

TheWinWarblist said...

Stanton is now a True Yankee. So now lay off ya miserable pessimistic walnuts!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Opening the Bazzillion year scotch and listening to Sounds of the Game!!!!
And Right back Atcha Rufus T!

13bit said...

Despite my negative ways - and it's amazing I have come this far in life without a black hole enveloping me and sucking me back into the world of anti-matter - I have always maintained that Stanton will be okay. Check it out. It's a matter of public record. I wish I could say the same for my sex life, but the 20th Century, at least, was fun.

13bit said...

Rufus, I'm not fan of Kate Smith, although I don't really hate her. You must understand it's not about Kate - it's about George, the Boss, now long dead, but always with us in Yankeeland. HE is the one who loved Kate and, for that love, we must all pay forever.

Anonymous said...

Ponder the life of someone who, several times a day, devotes strenuous reflection to the exact sequence of hitting the caps lock key for the letter a, then turning it off, then for the letter, h, then turning it off, then doing the same in faster alternation, then restoring the original pace, anguishing over where to insert the exclamation points, and how many, and how often.

Ponder that life.

TheWinWarblist said...

TheWinWarblist CUTS AND PASTES AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
AAAA-AA-Ahh-AHHH-AAAHHHHH-AAaAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHaaaa-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaAaAaHaHaHaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Ponder the life of someone who obsesses over my inchoate warbling while I go back to my life of wine cellars, Porsches and beautiful passionate women.

Ponder that life.

Tehehee!

TheWinWarblist said...

So endeth the JuJu.

Benedícat vos omnípotens Ruthus, et Scooter, et Mantleus, et Spíritus Jeterus.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Ohhhhhhhh what a win! Got back from a long night on the Long Island to see the highlights. And I can only second The Warblist Who Winneth: Tehehee!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Meanwhile, guys, I think you're onto something with that Walker deal.

So, what I'm saying is:

—Brussel sprouts EXPERTLY prepared. Crispy, sautéed with a couple onion slices maybe, done to just that perfect black edge.

—The Limburger cheese sandwich? The Limburger MUST be the real article. Perfectly aged, from Limbourg-sur-Vesdre itself. Melted, perhaps, on some excellent black bread, with maybe a slice of superb French ham.

Anything less for Walker, and Cashman is just completely full of shit!

Oh, and it's okay to throw in Chasen Shreve. If the other team doesn't agree, perhaps he can be smuggled into Walker's luggage.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, and ranger_lp: if the U.S. had made the World Cup...there would probably be FEWER soccer articles. That's just the wacky way The Paper of Record's sports page operates.

Anonymous said...

Ponder the life of an adolescent emotional retard who thinks that wine cellars, Porsches, and "beautiful passionate women" (pace Donald Trump) are the highest attainments of life. Porsches especially that hasten our trajectory over the cliff of climate catastrophe.

What an asshole.

Anonymous said...

Humorless, emotionally stunted moron who NEEDS to attack people because he needs attention. seek help, you pea brain. You’re not well.

KD said...

I don't understand why, with all the talent in the NY metro area (yes, that does include NJ, thank you), we must put up with a canned version of GBA from a dead fat lady. Let's have actual living people put on a performance. give some young people the thrill of their lives and make Yankees fans of them forever.

why the hell not?

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm with you on that KD.

KD said...

In my heart, I have assigned those two runs to Shreve. Lasagna wasn't totally in command of his pitches but he did very well. I'd say much better than most Sonny starts. He should have been given the opportunity to finish off the 4th. I look forward to his next start.

KD said...

WinWarblist, getting behind the wheel of an old bathtub Porsche has always been one of my life's ambitions. as it is, I have happily settled for my turbo charged Subaru. Just wish 93 octane wasn't so pricey!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

My German born ex-boss drives a Boxster. Just to razz him, I tell him it is the best VW made, and he should upgrade to a real German car (I drive another German brand, much to the dismay of my non-goyem friends).

And what kind of person doesn't like good wine, Porsches, and beautiful women? I have to guess only someone who is mad at the world.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The Master went nuts and totally skipped "Ballgame over, the Yankees win".

Just goes to show, you can't predict the Master.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But what about the Limburger trade???

KD said...

"And what kind of person doesn't like good wine, Porsches, and beautiful women?"

Answer: A tea-totaling, homosexual climate scold.

well, you asked...

TheWinWarblist said...

KD, tea-totaling incel climate change scold.

TheWinWarblist said...

KD, older Boxsters are very nicely priced right now. So are the 996 model of 911. No need to wait. Life is too fleeting. Least expensive air-cooled 911 world be the 911 SC. All are very approachable price wise as weekend cars.

TheWinWarblist said...

And who doesn't love a turbocharged Scooby!? Not I Sir, not I.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"And what kind of person doesn't like good wine, Porsches, and beautiful women?"

Even my gay cousin appreciates beautiful women. He lives around the corner from a certain bawstawn quarterback and has stated multiple times (in front of his husband) that he would convert for a day for Gisele, just to try it.

No, it has to be a self-loathing, mad at the world psycho.

TheWinWarblist said...

As I said. Incel. Or maybe MRA.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Incel is definitely involved. Not sure if it is the primary or a secondary cause.

Anonymous said...

KD--you've now overplayed your role as moron. That you feel obliged to pile by certifing yourself as a snarling homophobe and climate-change denier only deepens the dismay at your incorrigible stupidity and soullessness.

Anonymous said...

"The Porsche Design Tower, Symbol of Miami's Climate Change Denial"

http://www.metropolismag.com/ideas/sustainability/porsche-design-tower-symbol-miami-climate-change-denial/

Anonymous said...

"Vehicles are now America's biggest CO2 source but EPA is tearing up regulations"

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/jan/01/vehicles-climate-change-emissions-trump-administration

Anonymous said...

Hey Pit Bull Anon--anyone who understands the urgency of climate change and objects to women being trivialized as playthings of the Playboy lifestyle, circa 1965, is, in your toxic, disturbed brain, is "an emotionally stunted moron." Thanks for checking in, you sexist, philistine, scientifically illiterate car-wreck of a human being! Always good to hear from you--then everybody else feels better about himself.

Anonymous said...

"Car, Truck and Airplane Pollution Set to Drive Climate Change"

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/car-truck-and-airplane-pollution-set-to-drive-climate-change/

Anonymous said...

"Cars and trucks are America’s biggest climate problem for the 2nd year in a row
Overall emissions are falling, but not fast enough to hit international targets."

https://www.vox.com/energy-and-environment/2018/1/11/16874696/greenhouse-gas-co2-target-2017-paris-trump

I could go on, but you get the point--anyone who proclaims that driving a gas-guzzling, carbon-spewing monster like a Porsche is among his life's most coveted achievements with the human race facing possible extinction in mere decades, is a criminally stupid and ethically void creep.

Anonymous said...

"beautiful, passionate women"--i.e., women to be valued chiefly or only for their bodies and intensity of libido. And anyone who thinks Simone Weil or Simone de Beavoir or Camille Paglia or Stevie Smith or Anne Sexton is to be admired more than Scarlett Johansson is probably gay--adding homophobia to your catalogue of witless crudities and bigotries.

Fuck you, sexist animals. Burn in hell--which you are about to do, because you're also scientifically illiterate climate-change deniers. The whole sputtering, frat-house, brain-stunted package.

National Lampoon's Animal House was Oxford University compared to this blog.

Anonymous said...

Because you guys are so fucking DUMB, you are unintentionally hilarious.

A bunch of losers who sit simultaneously glued to a TV and a tiny baseball blog for every minute of every Yankee game for the whole summer, manically clattering out their fanboy ooze about every pitch and swing, ogling and living vicariously through thickly muscled young male athletes--you TV- and computer-chained loners are calling someone else GAY?

And tethered as you are to your TV and keyboards for hundreds of hours during the baseball season, during those vast swaths of time not going to a play or movie, or reading a book, or thinking about anything but who's got the best cutter or uppercut in the game--you posture as big-time studs who are getting laid at will? LOL! Yeah--you Yankee-junkie shut-in fanboy nerds are STUDS all right--in the same sense as the Festrunk Brothers.

Anonymous said...

Listen, asshole. Why do you keep coming back here? You're no better than the fabrication you have created to portray us. And yes, I am a toxic pig. All those years of shooting dope and smoking crack warped my mind for the worse. And all that crime - I'm on the straight and narrow now - but all that crime corroded my soul. The great question is why you keep returning to a place where YOU KNOW WE ALL HATE YOU. Is it because you enjoy the hate? Is negative attention better than none at all, baby stat head? King Baby StatBaby? As for your climate change rhetoric, of COURSE it's true and of course it's killing us. As a dope fiend long time FDR liberal, I accept that and I even did my best to change it, but you know what? I don't care anymore. You're young enough that it WILL make a difference in your life, as your asshole slowly roasts from the inside out and you cry bitter tears in your incel-induced sorrow in your mother's basement. I'm just glad I was born long enough ago that I'll be dead before my generation's toxic sludge chokes up your throat. Go away, asshole. We just want to fart and make up fake stats about a meaningless ex-national pastime. Why are you wasting your time here when you could be out protesting cars, injustice towards women and other shit? My god, I wonder if you're a Bernie bro. Jesus F. Christ, save us all. You flaming piece of shit. And I wasn't kidding about crime. You ever been in a jail cell, junior? Go fuck yourself with that rolling pin. There is nothing worse than a moron who thinks he's smart. You're so obnoxious, you're so mentally ill, you're so dumb that you can't even comprehend yourself. You have the worst possible personality disorder, and it renders you incapable of even thinking that you might be sick. YOU NEED HELP, ASSHOLE. GET SOME HELP. EVEN I DON'T WANT YOU TO KILL YOURSELF.

TheWinWarblist said...

So endeth the JuJu.

Anonymous said...

Oh FABULOUS--Demented, Snarling Anon is having a nervous breakdown OVER ME! He's my HELPLESS LITTLE BITCH! He has no life apart from raging impotently at me on a stupid baseball blog! I love it! And, contrary to his generous spree of dementia directed at me, I do hope he kills himself and rids the planet of one more embittered miscreant.

DO IT, ANON! Courage! You and everyone else will be happier.

Anonymous said...

"We all hate you." Demented, Snarling Anon delusionally imagines that he speaks for everyone, when he speaks only for his own rotted, malice-corroded remnant of being human. He is a cesspool of mental waste matter, a thrashing, pitiful compulsively howling beast.

Only he and Killer Doc Warblist, KD, and Rufus T. Shitfly constitute "we all" in this case--the diseased little claque of flame addicts that are ruining this blog.

The rest of the blog is composed of sane, decent, intelligent, witty commenters.

You, Demented, Snarling Anon, need to put yourself and the rest of us out of your/our misery. Just fucking kill yourself already. You'll be doing a service to humanity and, above all, will put an end to your crushing self-torments.

I suggest the Tony Bourdain/Robin Williams method of a belt wedged into the top of a closed door. Quick, efficient, very little suffering.

Just do it--you know you want to. You know your family want it. You know everyone on this blog will be happier without your spasmodic upchucks of stinking bile.

Just a small bit of courage is all it takes.

In the words of the slogan of the athletic company that sponsors so many of your beloved Yankees, "just do it." Kill yourself. Seriously!

Anonymous said...

TO DEMENTED, SNARLING ANON:

KILL. YOURSELF. TODAY. All your gnawing, clawing miseries will end in one second of courage. You will be happier, the world will be happier, this blog will be happier, WITHOUT YOU.

You are loved by no one. Valued by no one--least of all by yourself. Your term of useful existence on this planet has expired. JUST FUCKING GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY.

Anonymous said...

Oh, sorry Demented, Snarling Anon--I neglected to answer your main question: Why do I keep coming back here? Two reasons, really--in ascending order of importance:

1. To contribute commentary on baseball that surpasses that of anyone else on the blog in lucidity, erudition, and authoritative sourcing--all the characteristics of an active, critical intelligence that you, with your incomparably twisted stupidity, characterize as the activities of a "moron."

2. To TORMENT YOU: Yes, my chief pleasure in posting out here is to click "publish your comment" and then see how long it will take for you to go into another hilarious public meltdown over ME, your blog lord and master and torturer-in-chief. Seldom in the annals of Internet dialogue has there been such a specimen of masochistic agony as you, Demented/Snarling Anon, each of your deranged outpourings another "Hit Me" sign, as you know perfectly well that you are under my power, affording me the primal, elemental pleasure of torturing a frantic little ant like you with the sharp stick of my words. Yet you love it--you love being humiliated and tortured, so you come back for more! Splendid! Keep it up, my little bitch. Life out here wouldn't be half so much fun without the curdled delights of sending you into foam-spitting frenzies at a stranger on the Internet, watching you helplessly waste your vital essences of time and energies on an Internet mirage. Too much fun, really!

But I think our little game has run its course, no? You are a sick soul. A diseased soul. Life has been unkind to you. You are a deformed little worm of modest intelligence, a sadistic monster who relishes the thought of mass sufferings on this planet from climate change and recommend sitting back and enjoying the appalling spectacle while ridiculing those with the character and courage to try to avert it. You are the quintessence of perverted evil--you take pleasure at the prospect of mass death and suffering.

But these nightmares are all in your head. Like those mass murderers who kill dozens before killing themselves, I hope you at least will show that last glimmer of rationality and get the formula right for once: Kill yourself FIRST, and spare the rest of us your rancid venom, your sadistic celebrations of mass suffering and death. Rid yourself of your torments, and rid the planet of you, all in one merciful, beneficent stroke: your last chance to redeem your rotted remnant of a life.

Anonymous said...

Getting under your skin a little, you pathetic little sociopath? You reveal more about yourself with every post. I, on the other hand, might be one or two different people. I'm watching you, fuckface.

Anonymous said...

No--I'm just trying to be compassionate.

I like poking your with a stick--you're such a lovable little dick--so much fun to torture, to see you obsessing about words on a screen like a zombie.

You obviously think you haven't made a big enough fool of yourself yet--please, carry on. Let's see just how stupid and deranged you can be.

You might be TWO different people? You might have multiple-personality disorder? I'd be SHOCKED.

Yes, I reveal more of myself with each post: I despise small-time frat-house contempt for women, and I think climate change is a grave emergency that demands action from everyone with a conscience. You also reveal more of yourself with each post: you relish the thought of mass death and suffering and counsel passivity in the face of it, and you don't give a shit about the abuse and demeaning of women on this blog or anywhere else. You sit in a darkened room plying fantasies about broomsticks and anuses--that's the extent of your life.

This is too much fun!

Anonymous said...

By the way--I really don't think you should kill yourself. That's just Internet riffing.

I do think you should seek some kind of professional treatment for your sociopathic relishing of mass death and suffering and for your obvious psychopathic misogyny, for your bizarre fantasies about crack and prisons and broomsticks and whatever the hell else occupies the space normally reserved for reason and compassion in non-diseased human beings.

All that is treatable and need not drive you to terminal despair. Even someone as contemptible as you deserves a chance to become something more than a burbling well of hatred and a vicarious fan of mass death and suffering. Even you. But as Stuart Smalley used to say: only you can help you.

Now go read a book on baseball so you can find something on-topic to say on this blog for once in your blighted, diseased life.

Anonymous said...

Oh--and please don't call me "fuckface." IT MAKES ME SOOOOOO SCARED!

You are SUCH a BIG TOUGH GUY . . . when you get to post anonymously.

Just post your address, and we'll see how big and tough you are.

Anonymous said...

You're watching me--LOL! Of course you are. Without your obsession with me you would have nothing better to do than pleasure yourself with a broomstick. Carry on--whatever gets you off, tough guy.

Anonymous said...

Confessions of an Internet Psychopath, courtesy of Demented/Snarling Anon:

" I'm just glad I was born long enough ago that I'll be dead before my generation's toxic sludge chokes up your throat."

"And yes, I am a toxic pig. All those years of shooting dope and smoking crack warped my mind for the worse."

"You ever been in a jail cell, junior? Go fuck yourself with that rolling pin."

Oooooo . . . you are SO SCARY!!!!! And such a dismally bad writer, too!

Anonymous said...

I knew you had a crush on me.

A non mouse said...

I see the lithium shortage continues

Anonymous said...

OUCHIES!

Keep it up. You're my little bitch.

Yeah--I take loads of lithium because I'm concerned about bigotry and climate change.

And for wishing mass death and suffering on the human race, you take . . . what?

And for your hilariously awful writing, you take . . . what?

Do tell, Dopey!

Hey--I thought you wanted me to "go away."

Seems like you're so stupid that you don't realize that you're being a big counter-productive on your stated goal--right, Dopey?

Anonymous said...

More confessions of an Internet Psychopath:

"You're young enough that it WILL make a difference in your life, as your asshole slowly roasts from the inside out . . ."

And for that you take what, Dopey?

Antinymous said...

Ah, guys. Remember the good old days before the pencil necked geek moved into the neighborhood?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkB_CFi9row

TheWinWarblist said...

I miss VORP ...