Thursday, June 14, 2018

Sonny Sends Regrets

With apologies to Sir Elton John.

Hey fans, park it on the sofa,
The Yanks are playin' at home
But you might as well watch Oprah.
They're servin' up the fatted calf tonight.
Don't stick around
You're gonna see balls flyin'
All around the pound.

Surrender all hope, ain't you seen him yet?
Oh, but he's so damned sad—
S-S-Sonny sends regrets.
Oh, he looks scared and he's just awful.
Oh, Sonny he's truly bad.
He's got no real fastball,
His stuff don't break at all,
He made some 19-year-old look like Vla-a-a-ad.
S-S-Sony sends regrets.

Hey, Coops, give up on this phe-nom.
We know that you're blinded
But it's like tryna win Viet-nam.
Guess who's McNamara in this scenario?
He wasn't worth Fowler or Mate-o.
We shall survive but he needs to be gone.

Oh, Cashy why is it you can't see that yet?
Oh, but he's so damned scared!
S-S-Sony sends regrets.
Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny
Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny to the Mets...


Anonymous said...

That was a really good one.

I had one line occur to me. You wrote...

"You're gonna see balls flyin'
All around the pound."

Might have gone with

You're gonna see balls flyin'
All around this hallowed ground.

It's an extra beat, but because it comes at the end you can get away with it. And I like the idea of Yankee Stadium as "hallowed ground"

BTW I wouldn't normally make a suggestion but what you wrote was so good that I figured it would be OK. Enjoyed it.

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love it, Doug K.!

And always feel free to suggest anything. Much as it surprises me, I have to report that it ain't Shakespeare looking back at me from the mirror every morning.

Oh, also, I should have credited Bernie Taupin for the inspiration, as well as Sir Elton. Consider it done!

KD said...

Ever consider putting your stuff on baseball bard?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, KD. I think they've asked for a thing or two—but I just do this for the love of you guys!!!

Anonymous said...


What is it about the rhythm of "Sonny Grey" that lends itself to ready parody? Sesame Street = Sonny Grey threw the whole game away. Or, pitched really bad today. For some reason he is endless and sadly I suspect he is endless for the team as well.

Glad you were OK with the suggestion. I file it under Sunny and Share.

Doug K.

JM said...

Genius. In stark contrast to his pitching.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I was thinking the same thing myself, Doug K.! It's those magic three syllables.

And thanks, John M. Yes, I would prefer to sing Sonny's praises. But I don't think that's in the cards.

Alibi Ike said...

Baseball Bard doesn't publish enough poems about nadshots or testicular trauma. A fatal omission in today's game.


A foul tip in the ol’ concertina
Has now clipped the Cards’ catcher Molina
A clout to the junk
And he’s out for the month
But won’t flip Yadi’s stat to “Latina”