Saturday's game in Toronto could shape the future of the Yankees

The line often attributed to George Bernard Shaw - or Groucho, or WC Fields, though it may actually be from some dude named Lord Beaverbrook - goes this way: 

In some bigwig cocktail party, our hero asks a sequinned hottie if she'll bed him down for $100,000. She says yes. So he asks if she'll do it for $25. She bellows, "What kind of woman do you think I am!" He says, "We already know that; we're just haggling over the price." Badaboom. Leave it to Beaverbrook.

Well, that's sorta the situation with JA Happ, who seems as old as WC Fields, (though, all things considered, he'd probably prefer Philadelphia.) The Blue Jays want to trade Happ. The Yankees want to trade for him. Everybody's just haggling over the price. 

Tomorrow, Happ faces the Yankees. If he throws, say, a two-hit shutout, he will grow from a mosquito bite on Brian Cashman's elbow into a festering boil on Hal Steinbrenner's forehead. In such circumstances, Hal's DNA could provoke him into doing something truly horrible - such as trading Clint Frazier for a three month rental - baseball's equivalent of a one-night stand. Then again, if the Yankees pound Happ, while Toronto will still ask for the world in a trade, everyone will know the truth: The deal will have moved from Clint Frazier territory into Ryan McBroomland. (Note: This is a bad joke. Toronto would not accept McBroom, seeing as how they already traded him for Brigadoon Refsnyder, now hitting .167 at Tampa Bay. Come on, Ref!)

Frankly, whatever Happ does Saturday shouldn't matter. There is no reason why the Yankees should trade a top prospect - such as Frazier, or Justus Sheffield, or Estevan Florial (back early from an injury, to be showcased?) - for the last three episodes of a bad TV show. (If Happ were a Netflix series, he'd be House of Cards, without Kevin Spacey. I think they should have used the "Darren Stevens solution:" Replace him with Dick Sargent!) If Toronto wants a few top Yankee prospects, they need to dangle Marcus Stroman, and even then, we should worry about tread on the Goodyears. 

I can't calculate what gift basket of minor leaguers it should take to acquire Happ; that's for Cashman to crunch, and the truth is, he's done a decent job in recent years. He hasn't traded Jay Buhner... yet. But Yankee fans still know a clunker when they see one. 

Last winter, only the tabloid back page editors wanted the Yankees to sign Todd Frazier, the Toms River Miracle. Frazier proved to be a fine soul and clubhouse presence, but his inability to hit a mere .220 doomed his future with the Mets. When they signed him, we all knew it would go south. If the Yankees had followed the broadsheets and kept the Toddfather, Miguel Andujar would still be stuck in Scranton, and we would still be waiting for Frazier to emerge from his chrysalis. 

Last winter, few Yankee fans on this blog cheered when Cashman signed Neil Walker, the last free agent standing, to a $4 million deal. It was Chris Carter all over again. Thus far in 2018, we've seen why every other team blinked. Walker is the aging veteran who always deserves another chance, and then another, and then another - he's hitting .188! - the kind of loyalty rookies don't get. 

There is even speculation that if the Yankees chase a high-priced veteran at the deadline, they will ask the other team to absorb Walker's salary, so we can stay under the luxury tax threshold. We would throw in another prospect, just to sweeten the deal. In other words, that will make the Walker signing a 100-percent, gold-plated, Exxon Valdez-level fiasco, a deal that stinks from start to finish. And I cannot help but fear it would foreshadow the arrival of Mr. JA Happ.

I know what you're thinking: We gotta do something. It's insane to subject rookie pitchers to the stresses of a pennant race, especially in New York. But how much better will Happ be than Sheffield, or Jonathan Loiasiga, or Domingo German, or any others who might contribute to the Yankees for years to come? Three summers ago, the Cubs gave us a potential star 2B for the next decade, Gleyber Torres, plus a tantalizing prospect, Billy McKinney... because they were desperate to win one measly World Series. 

Last year, Houston emptied much of its talent rich (from 10 years of tanking) system for Justin Verlander and, later, Geritt Cole... because they were desperate to win one stinking, measly World Series.

The Yankees may too be desperate. But there should be a huge difference between us and the Cubs, Astros, Indians, Mariners, Nats, whatever... We don't want to win a championship and then disappear. We want two or three, or even four. Anybody we trade to Toronto will get to enact revenge upon us in 19 games every year, in much the way Russell Martin does. They could be a Blue Jays star, ruining the next decade, while JA Happ sits in his deck chair.  

I suspect that Happ is destined to be a Yankee. It's only a question of haggling. So there you have it: Why tomorrow's game can shape the Yankee future. Watch with ample drugs.