Tuesday, July 31, 2018

He's Mad! Mad, Mad, MAD I Tells Ya!!

Get the pitchforks and torches. Time to storm the castle.

Look, when I said we needed to stop contending and keep rebuilding, I didn't mean strip down half the team and the rest of the farm system, and sign up every available youth in the Dominican Republic now busy trying to grow a junior-high moustache.

This is just what I feared: that Cooperstown Cashman, though he was able to finally put together a true, rising young contender, would not be able to push it over the top.

Instead, as usual, he is trying to do about six different things at once, without deciding on his true intent.

Yes, thanks mostly to a combination of bad luck and phenomenal play on the part of our division rival, it had come to look like we were going to have to settle at best for a spot in One-Game Bud Selig Memorial Play-In Game.  Hey, it happens.

Coops could have stayed cool, looked at how well we did with that last year, and how we came out of it to beat a supposedly better team, and almost made the World Series. He could have filled in the breech with a few kids, and told himself, 'Well, at least we can see if they have anything, and then we'll see where we are in the offseason.'

The future was so bright, as the poet said, we had to wear shades.

But no. Instead, Coop the Gambler not only asked for four new cards, but also dropped two hidden aces from his sleeve, pulled a misfiring derringer out of his sock, and hurled a jackknife at the dealer. We'll be lucky to get out of this saloon alive.

I know, I know: Severino is probably hurt. I've been saying that for a month. So is Chapman. So what?

That is no reason to bring in some Jaime Garcia-like lump of coal such as Lance Lynn—what IS it with us and these washed up Twin pitchers?—or to deal away half the farm for lottery tix for a drawing that will take place sometime in the Kirsten Gillibrand administration.

Anyway, this is what Cash is today: just a ball of confusion.  Hey, hey.  See you in 2024.





12 comments:

13bit said...

Break out the KY, baby, we’re having a party!

Anonymous said...

May have to EAT that K-Y, rather than use it as intended...

Lance Effing LYNN?? ANOTHER Twinkie reject?? Someone puh-leeze tie Cash-Puss up, take his phone away, and do NOT let him loose until Tuesday (today), 5 PM. Pretty Pleez.

Anonymous said...

Sorry - - meant to sign that, above. LB (No J)

Just call me "appalled".

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


My speculation as July ends is: NYYs have a 5-game lead in the wild card ("games behind").

I'm hoping they "sweep" Bawlmore (2 games). I believe that is possible!

However: Instead of thinking they sweep the Evil Sox, I'm thinking I'll be content if they can win 2 of the games.

Question is: Can they get into the wild card nonsense? A 5-game lead in July is good, but it seems (at least) -- vulnerable.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I'm having trouble following all of the recent moves, so I made this "Cashmoney Scorecard" for myself (covering July only). Please let me know what's missing:

Traded away --

Tyler Austin
Brandon Drury
Gio Gallegos
Billy McKinney
Chasen Shreve
Adam Warren

Cody Carroll
Caleb Frare
Luis Rijo
Josh Rogers
Dillon Tate

Let go – David Hale


Acquired (along with a pile of “international $$$”) –

Zach Britton
J.A. Happ
Lance Lynn
Luke Voit

I have no conclusions to offer. I don't know that the MLB team is better now. I do know that Britton. Happ and Lynn are thru-end-of-this-season RENTALS. All have expiring contracts.

Seems like a lot of people -- some with potential, who knows? -- to move out in order to pick up international $$$ and 4 mediocrities. I know it is fashionable here to put Cashmoney DOWN. I do it myself.

Let's assume that there's a method to this insanity. If there is, you might guess that

(A) Cashmoney has given up on 2018. Really, this appears more like surrender than anything else. Perhaps the idea of playing a month (or more) without Judge cinched that thinking?

(B) The additions to the MLB roster are designed to stay underneath the salary cap limit, a key consideration apparently. This thought is a 6-inch putt.....but if you keep this limitation in mind, Cashmoney had to maneuver this month with a BIG restriction he's not previously had.

(C) The 3 new pitchers are auditioning for 2019-and-beyond contracts with the NYYs. All three might be let go (via free agency). Think about it, it's entirely possible. They all suck.

(D) The Rule 5 draft plays a role in here somehow. If Voit is still with the team with the season ends, I wonder if he'll even be protected.

(E) If you add up C and D, you might come to believe that all of these trades were made with Not A Single Acquisition staying with the NYYs beyond the end of this year. That's a wowser for me!

(F) The addition of big amounts of "international money" is a sign of rebuilding. Isn't it?

(G) I'll add that the fact that they have not yet called up Justus reinforces the idea that the thinking is NOT about 2018, but IS about the future. I just checked: Sheffield is not even on the 40-man roster!!! I'm not sure, but I believe that means he is unlikely to be called up even after Sept. 1.

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm nauseous, JoeFob. I hope Cashman is happy, the benighted miserable fuck not worthy to be a thrombosed hemorrhoid on Buck's puckered anus.

Anonymous said...

Joe,

Thanks for doing that. It's pretty amazing to see it all in one place.

I'm not sure I agree with your conclusions. Not trying to be a hard ass BTW. Just my thoughts.

A) Exchanging Shreve for Britton is an upgrade. It's not giving up on the season.

B) Yep.

C) See A. Plus Happ doesn't suck. He might be mediocre or even OK but suck? No. 11-6 (10-6 with Blue Jays)4.05 ERA 1.03 WAR.

Britton was an elite closer not too long ago who got hurt. He is shaking off the rust and could easily be a force and can serve as Chapman insurance should his knee collapse. Good moves.


D) Very much true. Dumping guys they wouldn't protect and opening up big spaces for Free Agents once the luxury tax gets re-set.

BTW Voit isn't a free agent until 2024. Not even pre arb eligible. So he's our emergency 1st baseman going forward.

E) See D

F) Yanks need to go big on Intl. guys because they don't envision high draft picks. (because they reload not rebuild)

G) Don't know why Justus isn't up yet but he will be. They just cleared a ton of 40 man space. If they bring him up before Sept 1st he could be available for the playoffs. Maybe limiting service time?

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yes, thanks very much, Joe FOB. This is very helpful.

(By the way, you're aware, right, that Red Barber used to say, "The bases are FOB"—for "full of Bums," i.e., Dodgers?)

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I listened to a lot of Red Barber as a young youth, but I didn't remember FOB.

Anon: Not really disputing anything you disputed with me. I sure wish there were more on the "positive" side of the table. AND: Even if Britton and Happ pan out, they are still going to either Go or want more moolah after the season ends.

Luke Voit: I appreciate the info that he's gonna be under "team control" for 6 more years. But: To max out on that, he's got to get a 40-man roster spot after the World Series. I'm not sure he will --

Anonymous said...

I hear you.

Doug K.

Carl Weitz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carl Weitz said...

All these trades and clearing spots on the 40-man indicate that the Yankees will go into free agency like a drunken sailor. This off season is going to be make 2013 look like shopping at K-Mart. I hope Cashman does so wisely. Which is an oxymoron.