Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Explanation is Simple, Comrades...

...Comrade Coops is Stakhanovite.

For those of you capitalist backsliders who love Moose and Squirrel and are hopelessly ignorant of Glorious Soviet History, Aleksei Grigorievich Stakhanov was miner in USSR of 1930s, who supposedly dug record, 102 tons of coal in just six hours, no doubt inspired by example of Comrade Stalin.

Brilliant Soviet planners then set his record amount of coal digging as industry standard, and adjusted all Five-Year Plans accordingly.

Not only Cashman, but all sportswriters are Stakhanovites.  Is why they always prefer veteran players.

Age? Injury? Feh! New Soviet Ballplayer Man will overcome!

For Stakhanovite sportswriters and GM, Britton is always closer who pitched to brilliant 0.54 ERA and 47 saves in as many opportunities back in 2016.

Passage of two years, two devastating injuries—IS TROTSKYITE DEFEATISM!  Britton, now, will always be same great ballplayer.

Also...Comrade Coops emulates brilliance of Comrade Epstein in Chicago, where trade great young ballplayer for Comrade Chappie, to put team over top.

Bulganin and his Gang say...Yankees not poor pathetic Cubs team that not win in 108 years.

They say, Yankees this year not clearly one of two or three best teams with real shot at Series, but well behind Red Sox and Houston.

They say, look, Cubbies give up potential future great for one moment of glory they might well have got anyway.

BAA!  Is typical running dog revisionism!  Cashman like Epstein in every way!  Now that Chapman is injured due to capitalist sabotage, Britton pick up for him!  And for Green, and Severino and all injured starters!  And skulking catcher dog!  And everyone else!

Comrade Britton is Stakhanovite!  Can do anything!

18 comments:

KD said...

What I don't like: Britton is annoying to watch, the way he holds his glove before delivering. Not as annoying as that idiot Papelbon had been but still...

What I do like: I love that Britton was the pitcher Buck refused to use in a non-closing situation yet with the game and season on the line. Showalter got to ponder his classical baseball management style all winter long. only a fool uses his best reliever in the highest leverage situation of the entire season, right Buck?

Anonymous said...

Hoss,

There's a good and relatively short novel called "Red Plenty" that you might want to check out. It looks at Russian economic planning from the perspective of a number of different Soviets. The planners, the workers, etc. Interesting book. I liked it.

And, as long as I'm recommending books with Red in the title. For you and anyone else... Redshirts. The basic premise is, what if the Red Shirted members of a star ship crew knew that a trip to the planet would not turn out well for them? Pretty funny.

Doug K.

KD said...

when there was a new character introduced as part of the landing party, we all knew he/she was Phaser Phodder.

TheWinWarblist said...

Hey, they're playing baseball in Tampa.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Damn, I forgot it’s early today, thanks TWW!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Well, this is a disgusting display.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Wish I wasn't listening, URRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

I don't want to talk about it. I'm going back to work. I'm opening a bottle tonight. You all do whatever you need to to get through the rest of your days.

Anonymous said...

NEIL FUCKING WALKER. Enough already. Really beyond comprehension, inserting the worst player in the league into the lineup everyday. And, rationally speaking, this is supposed to do what other than reduce the team's chances of winning the game? Someone please explain.

Publius said...

Unfortunately, Walker's been the most productive hitter since all star break. Discouraging.

Anonymous said...

Publius--I don't know where you get this idea. Stanton and Andujar have been more productive than Walker since the All-Star break. Plus, you're seizing on a tiny sample, which is just statistical noise. In the large sample of more than half a season, he's one of the worst players in the major leagues. Cashman's folly: can't field, can't run, subpar in the field--so put him in the lineup every day, of course! Genius!

Anonymous said...

can't hit, can't run, subpar in the field

JM said...

Tells a very funny story about a small dog and a GM, though.

6-6 against a barely .500 team. We don't deserve to win anything.

This is a team in disarray.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone noticed that Seattle and Oakland are only four and a half and six games behind the Yankees, respectively for the first and second wild cards? Be afraid--be very afraid.

Anonymous said...

sorry--just for the second wild card, not the first.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

It’s like the entire team has become an amalgamation of Neil Walker, it’s just the latest Yankees Black Mirror episode,,,,

HoraceClarke66 said...

So The Gleyber is back. Toe is back Drury is there, Wade is there. And we're still playing Walker.

Why? Why-y-y?

I will check out both "red" books, John M. Gotta me more entertaining than the baseball these days.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Natasha Fatale says: "Don't worry dollink!"