Friday, December 21, 2018

It's the End of the World as We Know It...

...and I don't feel fine.

No, I don't mean the spontaneous collapse of the stock market, departure of Mattis, and impending government shutdown.

Today, December 20th, 2018, a date which will ALSO live in infamy, the Evil Empire of the Bronx was suddenly and deliberately attacked by lesser clubs throughout major-league baseball.

Yesterday, Daniel Murphy, our fallback second-base signee and left-handed power bat was signed by the Colorado Rockies.

Yesterday, Andrew Miller, the reliever with the attitude that surpasseth that of all other ballplayers today, was signed by the St. Louis Cardinals.

Yesterday, David "Houdini" Robertson, a much-loved reliever and one of the last players from our last championship team, came to terms with the Boston Red Sox.

Yesterday, the two leading free agents on the market, Bryce Harper and Manny Machado, remained mysteriously unsigned by Brian Cashman and Hal Steinbrenner

No matter how long it may take to overcome this premeditated attack, Yankees fans in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

Hostilities exist.  There is no blinking at the fact that our legacy, our predominance, and our relevance in the American League East is in grave danger.

With confidence in the strength that surviving the greatest proportion of vermin droppings ever visited upon one team's refreshments have given us, with the unbounding determination of Jacoby Ellsbury trying to get back on the field of play, we will win through to the ultimate victory, so help us, John Sterling!


7 comments:

13bit said...

Miller and Robertson are the real blows in that list. Ouch.

Anonymous said...

Yes, a true double pineapple dip. Ouch, indeed. Our options are dwindling. LB (No J)

Anonymous said...

FUCK IT...

FUCK THIS...

WE ARE AT DEFCON 3....

WE NOW NEED BRYCE....

WE NOW NEED MANNY....

WE NOW NEED BRITTON....

$675 MILLION.

COUGH IT UP, HAL.

C'MON...

YOU CAN'T OWN THIS TEAM AND NOT BE A FACTOR.

13bit said...

Repeat after me:

Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care. Brian knows nothing. Hal does not care.

Anonymous said...

Not unhappy about Murphy at all. Bad fielder. He'd end up at first base. I'm still holding out hope for Machado at short with Gleybar at second. Much better than Murphy/Gleybar.

Robertson is a real loss. Robertson as a Red Sox is the above mentioned double pineapple with a side of uncooked nopalitos.

Miller not so much. I suspect he is on the DL side of his career.

As to what your post began with... By April we might all be watching Rubble Ball or Ruble Ball. Not a big fan of either one.

Doug K.

TheWinWarblist said...

Take a guess what I'm feeling right now ...

Jaraxle said...

Robertson didn’t sign with anyone yet, you’re high