Monday, December 10, 2018

Will the Yankees lose Happ in the way they once lost Russell Martin?

Last night, prospective White House Chief of Staff Nick Ayers walked away from a deal with the Trump administration, because they wouldn't offer him more than a two-year deal. A tough loss for Individual #1. He might have to sign Chris Christie off the scrap heap. With Ayers, it was the same-old same-old: He signed with a PAC that offered longevity - as did Patrick Corbin, Nathan Eovaldi and - maybe soon - J.A. Happ.

According to George King of the Murdochian Post, the current "buzz" around the Major League winter meetings goes that the gold-plated Yankees don't want to offer Happ a three-year deal because - hey - he'll soon turn 36 and is already receiving AARP mailings. If any other team goes to three years, Happ will probably take it, and we'll face another Russell Martin meltdown.

What about Russell Martin? Sherman, set the Wayback to the winter of 2012-13, when Shallow Hal Steinbrenner has just blown a gasket. Look, he's in his office, throwing things at the unpaid Yale interns. "Jesus H. Montero!" he yells, "Does everyone around here think money grows on trees? The unmitigated gall of these players! It's time to hold the line! ENOUGH, I say! NO MORE!"

Somebody mentions Russell Martin, a serviceable Yankee catcher for the last two years. He's one of Brian Cashman's great scrapheap acquisitions, averaging 20 HRs per season ("Russell shows muscle!") for just $7.5 million. But in the winter of 2012-13, Hal issues an Official Edict forbidding the Yankees to sign two-year deals. 

Thus, Martin goes with Pittsburgh (for $6.5 million the first year), and the Yankees trade for slappy Chris Stewart, launching a season-long funeral train that includes Lyle Overbay, Vernon Wells, Travis Hafner and the ancient Ichiro - who signs, get this, a frickin' two-year-deal. 

Letting Martin walk - for less than he was already making - blows a hole in the Yankee catching department that lasts until Gary Sanchez arrives in late 2016, and even that is now debatable. Martin, at 35, was still catching for Toronto this year, and he outhit Gary (though, to be honest, they both sucked; Martin hit .194.) 

So, in the aftermath of Corbin and Eovaldi, here comes the bidding on the venerable JA Happ. The Yankees want him to take a two year deal, because at 39, Happ will probably crap the bed. It's all about cheapness, folks. Prince Hal - sitting on the largest pot of gold in U.S. sports - wants to be a leader in fiscal purity, an owner who is beloved by his fellow billionaires. 

Meanwhile, Boston targets the players it wants - David Robertson is said to be high on their list - and shells out the money to obtain them. The Yankees may let Robertson walk, then wheedle down some other bullpen lug nut and save a few dimes. Come September, in some big game, we'll see Robbie on the mound against us, while we trot out our Dopey Dildox, giggling that we're saving money. Oh, how we pulled one over on Boston!

Okay, I need to add a disclaimer: It's possible that Hal is holding the line on Happ so he can make a huge splash with Manny Machado or Bryce Harper. If so, I'll take back everything. Trouble is, I get the feeling that Hal likes being the guy willing to hobble the Yankees, rather than overspend on players, like the Dodgers and Redsocks. He'll be revered by mall market owners and Gammonites, as he holds the line against those "greedy" players and Scott Boras, the boogyman. And his daddy will make the Hall of Fame.

But if Hal sandbags the Yankees, he deserves the complete contempt of Yankee fans. And today, I'm running a spoon across our iron bars, raising a ruckus among the inmates: Let's never forget that, by refusing to boost payroll, Hal is lining his own pockets. And this winter, that is the question facing the Yankees. Does Hal prefer to count money rather than spend it? Is it 2019, or are we back in 2012? Have we identified the players we want? Or are we simply making the numbers fit? Are we the Yankees or the Kansas City Athletics? We will soon find out. Get ready to rumble.

12 comments:

JM said...

I have spent weeks on an exhaustive research project to ascertain the effectiveness of Hal, Cashman, Levine, Boone, and Rothschild, along with the entire scouting and upper-echelon minor league management. The findings are hereby printed below:

Cashman is an asshole.

Hal is a cheap asshole.

Levine is a despicable asshole.

Rothschild is an old asshole.

Boone is a hapless asshole.

The scouting department is filled with blind assholes.

The top minor league executives are drunk assholes.

While any research project can have a degree of +/- in its results based on sample size and control groups, these results have been verified by the Scientific Association of Sphincter Measurement for Major League Baseball. These research findings project that we will sign no excellent pitchers or big-money free agents this off-season, but will instead focus on scrapheap zeroes and over-the-hill former stars, in keeping with the Yankees' finest asshole tradition.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree.

It's time to open the vault. Get the guys they want. Championship first.

Seriously, if they don't spend, and I mean big, after three years of "getting under the luxury tax" as part of a grand plan that results in championships... then screw them. Pay more than they think the players are worth.

I know that there are people in the Yankees organization organization that read this blog. There has to be. If you are one of them tell Hal to pay the money.

Here, I'll spell it out for you.

Dear Hal,

I'm not into abusive relationships. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I can no longer give a crap if you don't. The clock is ticking Hal. I suspect I'm not alone.

I get it. In your mind we're not important. We're old guys. Hell, I don't even live in NY. (I still give you money through my MLB subscription.) But look at the time and energy we all put into this team and this blog. We're the tip of the iceberg and you are headed right for it.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Spend the fucking money. You can't take it with you. Oh and try smiling. Seriously, if you have bad teeth spend some money there as well and get them fixed. This is your fucking legacy moment. Don't blow it.

Leave the Daddy issues on your shrink's couch and do the right thing by the fans who have stood by the team for decades. Lose us and you are left with easily distracted fans who will dump you for the next shiny object or even worse, the Mets.

Tip of the iceberg.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

Two side notes:

1) I was agreeing with Duque not John M.'s asshole post. Although I do see his point.

2) How do they not put George in the Hall of Fame? He is by far and away the most famous owner in the sport since Branch Rickey. Love him. Hate him. No one can deny his fame or impact.

What other owner appeared in a bunch of TV commercials for G-d's sake? (Aside from that Marge Schott one for sheets?.

Doug K.



13bit said...

Well said, John and Doug. And Duque, as to your questions, which are clearly rhetorical, we know the answers. He wants to count money. He doesn't want to spend. He doesn't care about the team or winning. It would be nice, in theory, but theories don't make the bar graphs on his investments go up. Two more theories, of the armchair psychological kind:

1. He wants the Yankees to fail because Daddy loved the team more than he loved little Hal. He still makes money, so it's a win-win.

2. He wants the Yankees to fail because that would prove that Daddy was right and little Hal is a worthless piece of shit. It's confirmation of his own self-hatred.

3. Both of the above, simultaneously.

Carl J. Weitz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carl J. Weitz said...

Trump's loss of Nick Ayers is our gain! Randy Levine is on a very short list under consideration to become Chief of Staff. Let's hope that rat takes the job and jumps on to that quickly sinking ship.

Anonymous said...



IF HAL WANTS TO SAVE MONEY SO BAD, WHAT SENSE DID IT MAKE TO KEEP CC AND GARDY?

THEY LITERALLY JUST THREW AWAY $15.5 MILLION DOLLARS ON 2 OLD, FRAGILE, FREE AGENTS, THAT, LETS FACE IT, WE REALLY DIDN'T NEED.

IT'S MONEY THEY COULD HAVE SAVED IN THE TILL TOWARD ANY ONE PLAYER WE REALLY DO NEED.

ARE WE REALLY NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING THIS WINTER?

SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT I KEEP HEARING THIS "100 WIN" SHIT....IT'S AS IF BECAUSE WE WON 100 GAMES IT MEANS WE WILL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS AUTOMATICALLY.

THAT'S BULLSHIT!

WAKE UP HAL AND COOP!

WE NEED TO GET BETTER!...A LOT BETTER.

IT'S NOT LIKE BOSTON ISN'T GOING TO IMPROVE EITHER.

13bit said...

Amen, ALLCAPS

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuckfuckfuvkfuckfuuuuucvckk ...

Anonymous said...

Let's combine the best of the best: we can agree to John M's take on things, and Doug K's simultaneously, tempered only by duque's exclusionary clause - - oh, and let's throw in #3 from 13bit, as well, just for good measure - - then let's double down on the whole damn shootin'-match. Banzai!!!! LB (No J)

Oasisdave said...

Phillies appareny closing in on deal with Happ. Pardon my French but what the Hell are the Yankees waiting for?!? Too cheap for Corbin, basically sleep on Eovaldi and now their linked to giving up Andujar and half the farm for stinking Syndergard? How simple this could have been if they just ponied up for Corbin and Happ and kept Shefield. Then go get Ottovino and if you want Machado then get him as well. I mean this is the Yankees right? Don't we spend money when we have a need? Especially since the luxury tax has been reset. Jeez, Hal and Cash and every other goof that's in league with them in the front office is ruining this team. Hell, maybe Boston sent the curse over to us and we get to watch them win 20+ titles over the next century.

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