Thursday, July 2, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Mole Men Emerge Blinking In Sunlight—Still Beat Birds.

Fresh off eight straight night games, the Virtual New York Mole Men, er, Yankees, came out of the shadows today, looking pale and disoriented—but still managed to rout the Orioles, 8-4.

Masahiro Tanaka was far from his best, but "my fine fellow" managed to subdue the Birds long enough for the usual Jinga stack of Yankees home runs to start piling up.  The Gleyber homered, of course, this being Baltimore, and so did "El Matador," Miguel Andujar, Mike Tauchman, and Clint Frazier.

The team's 13th straight win over the O's got New York off to a rollicking start in July, after a June like none other (save for June Cleaver, of course).  The Yanks went 22-4 in the Caesarian month, raising their overall record to 60-26 at the end of it and closing the once 12-game gap behind the TB Rays to just 2 lengths.  Tampa Bay is still hanging tough, though, and it is anybody's guess as to which team can persevere.

Meanwhile, longtime Yankees fan favorite Brett Gardner had to be helped off the field after making a diving catch today.  He turned out only to have a sprained ankle, and was told simply, "Put a little goop on it."

But the injury, however minor, further endangers Gardy's chances of staying on in New York's already overcrowded outfield, once Aaron Judge returned from the DL.  Judge would join his fellow Aaron, Hicks; Tauchman, Frazier, and Andujar, which would be more than enough bodies, even if Giancarlo Stanton—last reported seen living and recuperating in a Texas ashram—does not return anytime soon.

In the meantime, Estevan Florial will be called up to fill in for Gardner.  Floral, recently recovered from a corridor head injury, is only hitting .217 at Double-A Trenton, but Manager Ma Boon noted that his ceiling "is as high as the Sistine's."

Gardy has 11 roundtrippers on the year, but is still batting only .194, and many think that, like sand through the hourglass, his time as a Yankee is running out.  But if so, where would the Yankees trade him?  And what could they possibly get in return?

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