Thursday, October 12, 2023

Speaking blaspheme: Top Ten Reasons Why the Yankees should - gasp - re-sign Luis Severino

1. Nathan Eovaldi.

2. Sonny Gray.

3. Jordan Montgomery.

4. Lance Lynn.

5. If they get emotional and bawl about team loyalty, family, commitment, etc - do some hugging, and shots of tequila - they might get him cheap.

6. He'll turn 30 next year. Thirty.

7. It's time to stop scapegoating players, as if they were to blame for everything that went wrong. Sevy returned too soon from an injury, he had nothing, he got pounded, and he got booed off the mound. He was trying to rescue a rotation in freefall. He should have suffered those outings in Scranton. He deserves a chance to clear his name.  

8. Even if Sevy fails, it'll still beat watching him go elsewhere - (gulp, Boston?) - and succeed. By a lot. 

9. Whomever they sign to replace him will bring a brand new tranche of personal baggage. They'll find someone who had disappointed in his previous incarnation - another  team's Sevy. 

10. The devil you know... 

Seriously, the wolfpack view across the Yankiverse is that "it's better for both sides" if Severino goes elsewhere. Sez who? Sez the brain trust who cast out Eovaldi, Gray and Jordan? 

Maybe it's time for the Yankees to show irrational loyalty to a player they know - especially if they're going to show crazy, stupid fealty to their managerial and front office cupcakes. 

Re-sign Sevy. And if he fails again, so what? At least we tried.

21 comments:

13bit said...

Better to have him on the inside of the tent, uh...pissing on all of us...than on the outside, pissing in...

BRIAN CASHMAN OWNS THIS TEAM - obviously, Hal 2000 owns it, but Brian created it, from top to bottom. THE BUCK MUST STOP THERE.

Yes, Hal is responsible for Brian, but Hal is worth billions, so he doesn't have to be responsible for his mistakes. Hal, after all, was born into his obscene wealth and has no conscience, no moral compass, and no savvy, frankly. BRIAN is the one who put it all together.

The problem arises when you remember that only Hal can ditch Brian. One of them has the pee pee tapes - doesn't matter which one - and they are in a blood bond until death. I just wish Brian would say, "Hey, I fucked up but I'm going to try to do better. I'm going to talk to our baseball old heads and try to right this ship."

THAT, though, would involve admitting he is wrong, which ability is truly a sign of higher intelligence. Brian just don't got that in him. No way, no sir. Smartest twit in the room, that boy. Climb that rope, Spidey! We're coming for you! At least, the ghosts of Babe and Lou and the Mick and Yogi and Whitey...THEY are coming for you.

I can't think straight anymore. We're looking at a few more decades of this crap, right?

OH MY GOD

DickAllen said...

Absolutely. Sign him to a five-year deal.

Then we can watch a once promising career wither on the vine and then get DFA’d in year three.

Classic move by The Intern.

13bit said...

Maybe the only hope is to mount a WITHERING campaign - RELENTLESS AND UNWAVERING - via the written word and the all-present internet - wherein we publicly trumpet his ineptitude, imbecility, immaturity and minuscule manhood to the world until he shrinks in shame and slithers back to the country club from whence he sprang.

Pin "the intern" to him with virtual Gorilla glue. Make his name synonymous with failure every chance we get.

Will that do anything? I don't know, but it's some kind of action, at least. Then again, we have been doing that for a while now. And maybe, just maybe, this year the campaign hs begun to bear fruit. We are not the only members of the tribe calling for his removal, publicly examining his sins of management, pulling out our chest hair in grief. Maybe we just need to STAY THE COURSE, just like Brian. And one of us will break eventually, but I'll tell you one thing - IT WON'T BE US. We carry the strength of a million Yankee ghosts. They are holding us up, pushing us on, fueling us. We are doing it for THE GREATER GOOD, FOR GLORY, for the love of the team, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

ONWARD, YANKEE SOLDIERS!!!

The war on mediocrity has begun. If we outlasted CBS, we can outlast Cashman.

13bit said...

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I am strong enough to carry him
He ain't Sevy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know he will not encumber me
He ain't Sevy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Is not filled with gladness
Of love for one another

Thank you, Lord
said it's a long...
I said it's a long...
heyyy, it's a long, hard road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share?
And the load
Doesn't weigh, doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't Sevy, he's my brother
He ain't Sevy, he's my brother

13bit said...

Okay, I'm going to stop now and go to church. I'm going to pray. I'm going to witness. I'm going to testify. Then I'm going to urinate in the church bathroom and head to Jersey, where I might get some pizza.

The war on error continues! Viva Yogi!

La lucha continua!

AboveAverage said...

Per my sources:

One of the great takeaways from “these those very special meetings in Tampa, 2023” was the following:

“One must leave in order for one to join.. Resign to Sign”. Or re-sign in Sevy’s case.

I have little trust left in the Yankee Brain trust - especially when IT appears to be staying the same.

This crusted, pinstriped diaper has been shat in way too many times and needs to be changed.

A jail house power hosing down is required to restore downy freshness.

Instead we are forced to imagine an orgy of sickly overweight rats fucking in the odoriferous bowels of Yankee Stadium.

Such a shame - Such a shame - Such a shame….

(HAPPY PRE-ECLIPSE THURSDAY EVERYONE!)









BTR999 said...

No. Just no.

AboveAverage said...

Hey 13Bit - I dunno what you spiked your coffee with this morning - but would you be willing to share?

13bit said...

Been adding some Cafe Bustelo to the usual mix the past few days. Old NYC trick.

I love the shit-encrusted diaper. We need to adopt it as our battle flag.

Doug K. said...

"Maybe it's time for the Yankees to show irrational loyalty to a player they know - "

1) Gary Sanchez says hi!

2) Not trading AnDUjar and Frazier for... I forget, was it Verlander or Cole?

I'm sure there are more.

I like Sevi but he WILL get hurt again, and again, and again. He needs to do it somewhere else.

Personally I hope he wins a Cy Young but the odds are the only award he'll ever get is "Comeback Player of the Year" in a strike shortened,Covid plagued mini-season where the one month he is healthy,is the season.

Sad. But it is time to move on. The staff can only have one starter who has the potential to be a number two, "if he can only stay healthy" and they we will re-sign Montas for that role.

Doug K. said...

13 bit -

Big fan of Cafe Bustello. Great additive! Even drank it out in CA.

AboveAverage said...

or at least adopt it as our blog's temporary sub-headline

although I was partial to "we are forced to imagine an orgy of sickly overweight rats fucking in the odoriferous bowels of Yankee Stadium"

but life is no yankees future - a sad fan that cheers and frowns his hours upon these crappy games and then is no more.

it is a team run by idiots - full of cash and dumbassery

13bit said...

Above average, to paraphrase Jimi Hendrix, “fly that shit encrusted diaper high!“

edb said...

Unfortunately, Severino cannot stay healthy and there goes his season. I would not sign him.

JM said...

He ain't Sevy, he's my brother.

Classic. Great. And funny.

The Hammer of God said...

@ 13bit, Indeed, we even outlasted Mad King George. Good always prevails over evil, in the end, because God is good, and there is only one God.

The Yanks Go Marching On, Glory Glory, Hallelujah!

The Hammer of God said...

@ Duque, But if we re-sign Severino, would Cheapskate HAL go after Yamamoto? Probably not. So, yeah, there is the devil you know versus the devil you don't know, but I think we've seen enough. Severino needs a change of scenery, badly. I think we've got to get Yamamato this winter, at the least. Enough money has come off the books for them to splurge again on something. Better Yamamoto to try to strengthen the rotation than adding a highly questionable Bellinger in the outfield or having another Severino "I'm the worst pitcher in baseball" disaster.

Then there is the question of the pitching coach, Matt Blake. He couldn't fix Chapman, Rodon, or Severino. Whether Severino stays or goes, it's time to find a much, much better pitching coach. I certainly don't want Blake coaching Yamamoto. Blake coaching Severino and Rodon would be repeat insanity. We'd be tearing our hair out in early May.

Chapman has a funky new delivery now. He is doing a freeze frame pause right in the middle of his windup. I guess he is varying the length of the pause to throw off the timing of batters. He's still not firing on all cylinders, but he hasn't imploded like he did here.

Alphonso said...

I think Hal intends to bring back the exact same team, anyway. Well even get Josh back on the cheap.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm afraid that Alphonso is mostly right. No, no Josh, I think. A player shooting his mouth off is anathema even to front office brass as foolish as Cashman. But everybody else...yes.

And HAL will pass on Yamamoto, because of the money. Which is being penny wise and pound foolish, once again. Or as the mother of my best friend used to say: "Buy cheap, always expensive. Buy expensive, always cheap."

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, you guys are Fucking En Fuego—FEF—once again.

The Hammer of God said...

@ Alphonso & Hoss, Most probably, that's what's going to happen, that they'll bring back the same team. Nothing will happen this winter. Other than dumpster diving. Or maybe a crazy free agent signing, if HAL's accountants tell him that he must spend some money for finance reasons. The free agent they get will be a disaster, like Rodon.

And they won't even make any changes to the coaching staff, because it's the players who play the game, not the coaches.

And they certainly won't change the manager, because BaBoone is a nice guy who always does what he's told to do. Where would they find such a great "yes" man?

And Cashman is 100% surely staying until he bites the dust. Where would they find such a great GM who makes HAL richer and richer?

And why would HAL ever sell the team? He's such a fat cat now (big enough to cause an earthquake when he moves) that there is no dog on the face of the earth that would dare bark at him.