Monday, October 28, 2024

Tonight, the madness and pandemonium of New York must rain down upon mellow LA

There comes a moment in every fan's life when he or she - (or they) - must go Timmy-in-the-well, Lassie-barking mad, and charge wide-eyed directly into the jaws of Hell. 

Tonight is that time. 

Tonight, the Dodgers' team of Chippendale robots needs to encounter a life-changing, cultural pipe wrench of pure demonic chaos - a horrific hurricane of sounds, sights, tremors and terrors, unlike anything they ever experienced against the Mets. 

It must begin before the first pitch is thrown, and from there, it must become alive and bio-electric, a sentient being created from the agony of a billion fans after 15 years of squandered hopes. 

Tonight, every moment must be the one after Nettles stabbed the liner, after Reggie jacked his third, after Leyritz bombed Atlanta, after Boggs donned the horse, after Yogi charged Larsen, after Mantle put down Barney Schultz. 

Yes, those events happened in another stadium, one we stupidly tore down and gaslight ourselves to this day, pretending otherwise. But tonight, it doesn't matter. 

Tonight, the Yankees must create a new reality, a new mass hysteria, in this relatively unsoiled ballpark.

The Yankees must call upon the full, grotesque pandemonium of NYC: Pizza Rat, Times Square Elmo, the squeegy-men, and the ghost of Gerald Ford saying "Drop Dead." Tonight, the Yankees must channel the everything bagel of Gotham. 

We all know the reality: 

The Yankees either win tonight, or it's over. 

Lose tonight, and they'll fall in four, swept by a superior team whose billionaire owner wasn't afraid of spending the money he's too rich to ever miss. 

The Yankees need a game from Clarke Schmidt, the vastly underpaid starting pitcher who has only played for one organization in his pro career. Same with Anthony Volpe, another home grown Yankee. And the Captain, whose fantastical legacy is now teetering. 

Tonight, the Yankee Stadium crowd needs to act like a Yankee Stadium crowd. 

It's up to you, New York, New York.

10 comments:

The Hammer of God said...

I am very much afraid for the Yankees tonight. I've said all along this year that they weren't good enough. Now they're getting the bills for all of the stupid decisions management has made: playing everybody out of position; the musical outfield; the musical infield; bringing up The Martian too late to make a difference; never bringing up Spencer Jones; not making an offer for Josh Hader; not going after better starting pitching.

Seriously, have you ever seen a World Series team make that many defensive mistakes in two games (and still win the series)? How many bases have they given away so far? Like 8 maybe? It's so many I won't even bother to count. Boone continuing to make incredibly stupid decisions.

The only way for the Yankees to win this series is by bashing their way out of their batting slumps. Fat chance of that, eh?

BTR999 said...

Would that it was all it would take…🧨

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I'm just preying they don't get swept,,,, so much for any optimism that I had going into this!

JM said...

Yesterday, Duque wrote, "Judge will hit. Eventually. We all know this."

I don't know this. Not at all. He never has hit before in the postseason. He looks terrible. His mechanics are a mess. He's striking out on shit pitches.

He is a liability. Sadly.

Of course, he will hit eventually. Like, in April 2025. Or maybe June. But there aren't enough games left in the Series for him to straighten this out.

And then there's Maude...I mean, Boone. What a terrible manager. Terrible decisions. Terrible discipline. Lousy team fundamentals.

Yeah, we can win. If there are a series of miracles and LA gets overconfident. I doubt if either happens.

TheWinWarblist said...

Okay, let's get this over with.

Alphonso said...

Wade Boggs rode the horse in Yankee stadium and we were there.

DickAllen said...

What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!...

It ain't over now, 'cause when the goin' gets tough, the tough get goin'. Who's with me? Let's go! Come on!...

What the f--k happened to the Yankees fans I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. 'Ooh, we're afraid to go with you, Bluto. Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this.

BTR999 said...

Trevino in for Wells tonight. It won’t help.

HoraceClarke66 said...

They will steal us blind.

JM said...

Holy jumpin' mamas. Boone really needs to be put out to pasture. What a fucking moron.