"I'm Luke Weaver, and my scouting report is, I'm not as tough as I look." The Yankees are going to miss this guy.

"I'm a silent assassin," Luke Weaver once claimed, clutching a microphone and a straight face. "But I'm also lovable and kind."

Indeed, he was. Or is. And today, Yank fans should mourn the loss of Weaver, a true baseball character, who will be missed in the bullpen, the clubhouse and the postgame show. 

That line, "I'm not as tough as I look..." surgically ignored the fact that Weaver always resembled a kindergarten teacher who donned a Yankee jersey and slipped through security. He seemed to channel Wally Cox, though his fastball exploded on batters, and if he hadn't completely run out of gas and blown two tires, we might have won the 2024 world series. 

Weaver is the latest ex-Yank to move across town, a troubling wave that is starting to suggest a sea-change in the city. The Yankees keep losing players who, - despite NYC's oppressive scaffolding, un-Julia-Roberts-like hookers and pizza rats - actually like Gotham. Yesterday, he agreed to a 2-year, $22 million contract that adds him - for now - to Devin Williams and Clay Holmes, none of whom had to change their mailing address when they moved.

Listen: I'm not going Chicken Little here. It's still early in the hot stove winter. A gaggle of free agents remain unsigned - including ex-Yank Michael King - and anything can happen. But the Mets seem to have unlimited money and a gouge on their forehead from having ditched and dissed Pete Alonso. Meanwhile, in every interview, Hal Steinbrenner leads with his poormouth. You wonder where this is going. 

Today, the Internet claims the Yankees are "among the finalists" for the Japanese ace, Tatsuya Imai. It's us or the Cubs, says A.I. 

Dear God, we've all come to know what that means. Runner-up and a participation trophy. And meanwhile, New York City slowly turns orange and blue.

I don't want to sound the sirens and call for mandatory evacuations. Not yet, anyway. But if the Yankees lose out on Imai, it's a freefall to the secondary options. 

Luke Weaver turned out to be far tougher than he looks. The Yankees? I'm not so sure.