1. Critics who questioned returning the 2025 team.
2. Fears about 3B, the bullpen and the rotation.
3. Concerns about the Martian. (Last night, in Scranton, he went 1-for-4 with two Ks.)
4. Those who proclaimed the Mets to be NY's team.
5. The month of April.
That's the problem. April. Tonight, no matter what gives, the Yankees cannot touch May. Nor can they bury Boston.
Sorry. It's just April. Even a win tonight - a sweep in Fenway that would build a 7-game bulge - it's a Melania fart on the East Lawn. When the Yankees and Redsocks play again - June - Taylor and Travis will be nearing their wedding, gas will cost $20 per gallon, the Knicks will be done, the midterms will be upon us, the aliens will have revealed themselves to humanity, and we'll know the truth about Cam Schlitter:
Tonight, the Yankees will learn a lot. Schlittler's return to the Boston area, where he grew up, has brought out the worst of the Redsock Nation - a veritable zombie apocalypse of knuckle-dragging wildings. Not since Roger Clemens returned to Fenway, fostering a hysteria that terrified his wife and family, has Boston's frat boy fan base been so defined by its nutjobs.
Yank fans like to think we are the craziest - the Chambliss HR, the nails on Ed Whitson's driveway, the drunken singing of "New York, New York" - but let's give credit: Boston has always had a special sauce. The security guard who fought Jeff Nelson. The guy who took punched Gary Sheffield. Just last night, down 4-0 in the 9th, the Fenway crowd several times chanted "YANKEES SUCK." God bless 'em.
And now, death threats against Schlittler. Death threats.
Congratulations, you obese, odorific, developmentally challenged, lost-cause sickos. Bravo! Somehow, you managed to lower expectations of basic humanity, which were already so deep into the sewers of crazy, that nobody cared what you think or do. So, you made death threats. Great. Get comfy on the rat couch. Eat another bag of chips.
Tonight, Schlittler can make Boston pay. Or not. We should not add any stress to what already is a pressurized situation. Whenever pundits predict a Yankee-Redsock pitchers' duel, the bats go wild. Boston has scored one run in 18 innings. They won't stay quiet forever.
It would be wonderful if Schlittler can make them eat their own crapola. But it's a long season, it's still just April, and whomever rules in September - that will be the outcome that matters. April is too early to sweat - or heap any more pressure on Schlittler.
A shutout will do. A no-hitter would be nice. That's all.
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11 comments:
Let's see how he handles just showing up and getting through the now-obligatory 5 innings that are the baseline for a "quality start." After that - if that actually happens - it's all gravy. Low bar, low rent, low life - welcome to Beantown.
“… you obese, odorific, developmentally challenged, lost-cause sickos.”
Music to my ears.
I prefer "racist townie assholes". Kinda flows.
Actually, the rents are quite high in Boston. And Southie's largely gone (thank God), and so is the el. It's a charming city, that should now ease back into all the 250th celebrations and forget about all that silly passion regarding sports. Especially baseball.
I've never thought of Boston as "charming." Ever. Huhn. Always just thought it was a New England craphole with some colonial buildings still standing.
But of course, that's always been informed by the centuries-old rivalry between New York and Boston. New York--founded by the Dutch, who established their loose moral attitudes, free marketism, and fun. Boston--founded by uptight, Puritanesque, provincialist, more racist kind of dipshits.
It goes back to the 1600s and has never gone away. Fueled in part by Boston's fully realistic inferiority complex and horrible accent. A worse accent than any of those hilariously found in New York City.
This all accounts, in my mind, to the level of douchebaggery that still exists. Although to be honest, most of New England shares their quaint, lingering Puritan roots.
Yeah, I don't like any of those states, really. Give me the Apple any day.
Max Fried really earned his pay yesterday, eh? But it's April. Apparently, the Boston assholes haven't got the bats warmed up yet.
Hope Schlittler hurls a shutout. I'd like the Yankees to score some runs, get some of their bats going. Last two days, they were fortunate that one guy had a big night each game. But whatever happens, it's still only April. And you know how good Boone is at pressing the self destruct button in the last game of a series where the Yankees have a chance at sweeping.
Nevah forget the two years we lived in Bahstun. Three months in North Cambridge and then in Braintree. Loved seeing the Yankees play at Fenway. I liked Fenway. I appreciated being able to walk out of the stadium to grab a rat-feces free sausage with peppahs and onions and a Harp (when it still wuz imported) and head back in to my seat (I viddy’d alone). I would always buy a single lower field box ticket behind home plate because if I procured a cheaper seat I always ran the risk of being stoned to death by D Cell batteries because I always went representing MY YANKEES ! I did however appreciate the slogans on the shirts they sold outside of Fenway. My favorite was, “AROD SUCKS JETER’S BIG UNIT !”
Knocked Sox books out of their hands on Tuesday. Took their lunch money last night. Tonight? Stuff them in a locker.
Philly fans would say "Hold my beer"...
I spent four years in the alternative reality dreamscape that is Cambridge back in the late 70's, early 80s. The only time - aside from my misspent youth in Yonkers - outside of downtown Manhattan. Had a NY friend there at the time - he is a rabid Yankee fan and scored a ticket to the Bucky Dent game. He said that, when Bucky did his immortal deed, he just sat there with his arms crossed and did not display any emotion at all for fear of getting beaten up. Inside, though, he was bursting with joy. They are NOT peaceable, civil humans up there.
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