Correction! Mets cursed by Andrew Cuomo!

                                        THE CURSE OF ANDY CUOMO

Correcting a previous news report that claimed the New York Mets had been cursed by the Il Duomo cathedral in Italy, it has now been learned that in fact the Mets were cursed by the disgraced former governor, when he made improper overtures to the team's bats.

Mr. Cuomo, shown here on the verge of being tickled, has already apologized for his interaction with the bats, saying that, "Maybe I'm old-fashioned" but that he had hoped fondling the bats would "heat 'em up, get 'em to show a little life!"  

Mr. Cuomo has denied actually French-kissing any of the Mets' lumber.