THE LAZY YANKEE FAN'S GUIDE TO PHYSICAL FITNESS

   Well, here it is, folks. Time to get off your fat ass, get off that damned couch and do something physical. Word is that, if you're a sedentary couch potato, it doesn't take much to improve physical condition. That's the good news. The bad news is that, if you're already in excellent condition, it will take a tremendous effort to improve even slightly. But I'm writing this for the former class. Am I right in assuming that you're sedentary, that the only "exercise" you typically get is walking to the refrigerator for a beer?

   Well, no need to waste any more time. Just do this and you're on the way: (1) 10 goblet squats; (2) 10 pushups; (3) 10 goblet squats; (4) 10 pushups; (5) 10 goblet squats. Rest for a minute or two between each set. If you're struggling to complete the ten with any set, don't cheat, just do whatever you can manage without maximum effort. For example, 5 pushups is perfectly okay, even 2. Just do each repetition with perfect form. That is the key. If you cannot even do one pushup, that's okay. Do the "lady" style pushups, with knees on the floor instead of your feet. No judgments here. It's not where you begin, it's not even where you end up. It's the journey itself that matters.

    To check on perfect form, I suggest youtube, as a video is worth a million words. But I think most people know how to do a correct pushup: you start from a horizontal position, with arms straight (elbows locked), hands underneath your shoulders. Lower yourself until your chest is an inch above the floor, then push up to the starting position. That is one rep.

    The goblet squat is also easy: just stand feet about shoulder width apart, hands lightly clasped in front of you like you're holding a goblet, then lower yourself, keep the back straight, until the tops of your thighs are about parallel to the floor, then raise yourself to the starting position using the power of the quadriceps. That is one rep. You can position the feet pointing slightly out, as that can better align the feet with the angle of the hips, reducing strain on the knees when lowering yourself.

    The first workout, you're aiming only to get things going. Do not work too hard. Only work enough for a slightly tired feel. There should be no maximum exertion. Rest two days, then repeat. If you feel aches and pains after a day or two, you did too much. If everything feels good, you can do 2 more repetitions in each set the next time. For example, if you did 10 goblet squats in each set and feel great two days later, you can now raise the reps to 12 squats.

    The goal is to get to 25 reps, 3 sets of each. Once you get there, you're on your way. You will be able to add numbers to adjust to your body. When I was about 20 years old, I could do almost 100 pushups in one set without stopping for rest. I wouldn't recommend that for most people, but you get the point. I think the maximum pushups that I'd recommend would be about 50-75 in one set.

    As always, with physical exercise, there are risks. You could have a heart attack and drop dead. You can get hit in the head by a tree branch going for a walk. You can attacked by a rabid rabbit in the woods. All the more reason to start slowly and know your physical condition. If in any doubt, it's good to get a routine physical from your physician before doing any demanding training routine.

    Whenever you do repetitive movements, as all physical fitness exercises are, you should watch out for repetitive stress injuries (RSI) to tendons and ligaments. That's one reason why using correct form is vitally important. It lowers the risk of RSI. You also have to know the difference between "good" pain and "bad" pain. Typically, good pain is a slight achiness in the belly of a large muscle: it indicates that the muscle will build up and get bigger over the next day or two. Bad pain is anything in or near the joints. If you feel bad pain, you have to shut down that exercise until the pain is gone. Then you have to figure out why that pain is happening and how to keep it from happening again. Was it bad form? Was is too much, too soon?

    This is a good time to get physical. We'll play the Red Sox tomorrow. That means frustration, excruciating losses, anger management. We'll need the exercise!