Inside Baseball: The IT IS HIGH office party bash

OK. OK. OK.

Ohhhhhh! Kaaaaay!

Enough with the e-mails, the letters, the couriers. We give.

Here are the behind-the-scenes shots from our weekly IT IS HIGH tailgate party, staged just before our last dust-up with the Tampa Bay Rays. We went a little overboard, but hey, we deserve it. We've been bustin' tail working on the fundamentals of covering the Yankees, correcitng misschpellings, syntax (heh, heh, we're party animals, get it?) and figuring out who was the sad hack who had to go back to the minors and work at Rays Index for a little more seasoning. (Sorry, Roger, we'll miss ya.)

Anyways, we got so carried away at the tailgate we missed the game! El duque tried a make-up post and used a Blue Jays game picture instead of a Rays game picture, but, hey, who cares!

So call off the lawyers, here are the shots.

This is Whitey Fraud, with a vixen trying to eat his Yankee hat.

This is I'm Bill White, with Mons Meg at his right wearing her mother's homemade cowboy hat. The Jersey girl on his left looks familiar somewhow, but we don't exactly remember the name. Hmmmm.

Wailin' Suzyn is in this photo. We're not saying which one to protect the writer's identity as leader of the IT IS HIGH I-Team.

This is Prince Frankenstein, on the left. What can we say? The guy's livin' the dream in Seattle!

We cleaned up Alphonso a little for this shot. He's the one in the "81" jersey.

Livin' up to his name is BernBabyBern, who got a little too much sun down here, not to mention a hilariously sweet haircut.

And, of course, the guy who spills his guts on these pages for our readers every day, el duque. (Honestly, his ego's not that big.)

(Seriously, looking for a laugh today? Check out Hot Chicks with Douchebags, the place where our party shots are stored for safe keeping.)

Spitzer, Spitzer, Spitzer

At last we're all sick of a story besides the primaries. To prove it to yourself the media has achieved true Eliot Spitzer saturation, take this quiz:

1. What is the "unsafe" practice Spitzer allegedly asked a prostitute to engage in?

(a) sexual acts without a condom
(b) email via governor's mansion computer
(c) sky-diving

2. Who is George Fox?

(a) Eliot Spitzer's pseudonym for purposes of illicit liaisons
(b) former Spitzer campaign contributor
(c) the angriest man alive
(d) all of the above

3. What outcome would New York voters have preferred?

(a) to find out Spitzer was running the prostitution ring in an administrative capacity
(b) to find out Spitzer was guilty of bribery
(c) to find out Spitzer was guilty of bribery and graft
(d) to find out Spitzer was guilty of bribery, graft, and income tax evasion
(e) any of these -- just get this picture of Spitzer in silk boxers out of my head

4. Eliot Spitzer's wife of 21 years stood by him when he announced his resignation because:

(a) she vowed to stand by her man…until they get to the car
(b) if she don't show up, it would look as if it was her fault somehow
(c) she now knows what happens whenever you turn your back on him

The Spitzer Prostitution Scandal Song: "Love Client No. 9"

As our governor, the not-so-honorable Eliot Spitzer, hands in his resignation, we offer this musical tribute. (Sung to the tune of ... hell, you can figure it out)

"Love Client Number Nine"

He called a madam friend that he knew well,
To have some fun at the Mayflower Hotel,
He said he was looking to have a real good time
She said she'd arrange that for ... Love Client Number Nine

He said "I must hide my identity,"
She said "Your secret, Gov, it's safe with me.
Kristen, she'll make sure you're feeling mighty fine,
And no one will know about ... Love Client Number Nine"

He said "I'll pay her way be car, train, or truck;
If anyone finds out I'll really be stuck
I know I prob'ly shouldn't press my luck
But I just can't wait for my four-grand ... screw"

- guitar solo -

When he hung up she smiled and turned around
Saw Joe and Sheldon, said "Boys, how'd that sound?
I knew that if you put a tap on my phone line
You'd get the goods on ... Love Client Number Nine"

Love Client Number Nine
Love Client Number Nine ...

Who Blew Spitzer In?

Last week, four people were slapped with federal prostitution charges for running "Emperor’s Club V.I.P.” and today New York Governor Eliot Spitzer admitted he’s been “involved” in a prostitution ring.



Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn.



Exactly how did Spitzer’s name wind up on federal court papers?


Did a former prosecutor and attorney general really stumble into the dragnet -- or did the feds get a tip-off?


If the feds had help, chances are that Spitzer, as usual, got on somebody’s nerves. But whose?


THE SUSPECTS:

Was it one of the OTHER JOHNS who had to be “Client 10” was angry because Spitzer jumped the line and got to be “Client 9”?

One of THE COMPETITION might have dimed him. When Spitzer was attorney general, he busted a few prostitution rings, himself -- perhaps a madam with her nose bent out of joint ratted him out as revenge for restraint of trade.

Did a MEMBER OF HIS STAFF blow the whistle? Maybe a hard-working administration employee just wanted his boss to step down for once.

Or was it one of THE HOOKERS who got tired about how Albany doesn’t love him and how he's outgrown Albany and how Albany is so…cold


If only there were a silver lining.

Hey, WAIT!

Looking on the bright side, there are NO ALLEGATIONS WHATSOEVER that Spitzer
was part of the international pedophilia ring
that was also busted today.

No doubt Spitzer's press office is thanking heavens for small favors.

And the ladies still love him...

...though perhaps not the one he's married to at present.