From the Comments

Throwing at Youk's head will never be the same with a White Sox helmet on him. But it won't be bad, just different.--John M

Rivalometer

A-ROD: "I almost feel like it was a swing for the team!" 

YOUK: "If I get traded, I get traded!" 

Rivalometer

Back-to-back-to-back, belly-to-belly-to-belly! 

Ump strikes out Youk with bases loaded!  

Post-Series Proclamation

When in the course of Yankee events, it becomes necessary to question the status quo and its sanity, I’m the guy to do it since I’m well acquainted with mental turpitude and its vicissitudes.

El Donké has become unhinged by our hard-fought Yankee victory and his tireless role in blogging an unheard-of amount of inanities, joke-free “humor” and contrived connections between dead celebrity relatives and Yankee wins. Plus, he steals elections.

Clearly, El Douchebag is sick. Very sick.

Seeking forgiveness and absolution for Pedro Martinez?? WTF???

Martinez, as is well known, was part of the scummy redsocks and the hapless Flushing Mets. He faced our beloved Yankees twice as a member of the Fillies.

El Durge wants to let this guy get off the hook?

What perverse reasoning led this befuddled rural denizen to seek absolution for Pedro Freakin’ Martinez? Huh?!?

And now, he pleads for well-known semi-moron anti-Yankee Curt “Ketchup Sock” Schilling??

SCHILLING!!

You’re fucking kidding me!

Who’s next?

Youk??

Longoria??

Hitler?

McCarver?

No!

It’s time for el Dumbo to temporarily step down and be confined to his country village for recuperation, shock treatment and “therapy,” like counting “”win wirbles”” or tracking Joe Girardi’s new number (Go for 28 or skip right to 29? Ooh! Important stuff!) or writing a book of doggerel “poetry.”

Who can step into the breach to keep our beloved online vessel on track?

Self-proclaimed “captain” Superfluous Frankfurter is busy "scripting" a Stumbo-Bazooka Joe Zombie Crisis crossover series for Tekno Comix and following PeteAbe’s Tweeter, so forget him. I have to go away for a little while myself, but my attorney, Murray, says that with good behavior, the confinement will be brief.

I propose that IIH, IIF… be run by a committee of Michael Kei, BernBabyBern and I’m Bill White, overseen by Mons Meg, with pro tem duties by Alphonso, and the rest of the crew on 24-hour standby.

This will allow El Dickweed to regain his self-deluded dignity while resting and rhyming “Matsui” with “kerflooey.”

It’s sad but necessary. We must rise above this sorry episode that threatens to put a giant asterisk on our hard-won #27.

Happy Hannukah!

Little known fact: Kevin Youkilis is Jewish!

Here's hoping he chokes on a latka!

Rain delay fun

Our second delay of the night leads me to do some number crunching.
Mainly, on this fella right here:
Yes, that is Youk (I know you can't see his bald noggin, but it's under there)

Anyways, take a look at these here numbers.
Now, Youkilis was hit by a pitch 15 times in 2007.
So far this year he has only been hit once.

At this rate, Youk might get hit 6, maybe 7 times throughout the season. So what do we do?
Farnsworth him.

There are 13 games against the Red Socks for the rest of the year. If Farnsworth comes in at least half of those to face Youk, we will meet our quota.
If Joba comes in the other half and doesn't miss like he did last year, we will most likely double our profits of Youk's HBP.