When in the course of Yankee events, it becomes necessary to question the status quo and its sanity, I’m the guy to do it since I’m well acquainted with mental turpitude and its vicissitudes.
El Donké has become unhinged by our hard-fought Yankee victory and his tireless role in blogging an unheard-of amount of inanities, joke-free “humor” and contrived connections between dead celebrity relatives and Yankee wins. Plus, he steals elections.
Clearly, El Douchebag is sick. Very sick.
Seeking forgiveness and absolution for Pedro Martinez?? WTF???
Martinez, as is well known, was part of the scummy redsocks and the hapless Flushing Mets. He faced our beloved Yankees twice as a member of the Fillies.
El Durge wants to let this guy get off the hook?
What perverse reasoning led this befuddled rural denizen to seek absolution for Pedro Freakin’ Martinez? Huh?!?
And now, he pleads for well-known semi-moron anti-Yankee Curt “Ketchup Sock” Schilling??
SCHILLING!!
You’re fucking kidding me!
Who’s next?
Youk??
Longoria??
Hitler?
McCarver?
No!
It’s time for el Dumbo to temporarily step down and be confined to his country village for recuperation, shock treatment and “therapy,” like counting “”win wirbles”” or tracking Joe Girardi’s new number (Go for 28 or skip right to 29? Ooh! Important stuff!) or writing a book of doggerel “poetry.”
Who can step into the breach to keep our beloved online vessel on track?
Self-proclaimed “captain” Superfluous Frankfurter is busy "scripting" a Stumbo-Bazooka Joe Zombie Crisis crossover series for Tekno Comix and following PeteAbe’s Tweeter, so forget him. I have to go away for a little while myself, but my attorney, Murray, says that with good behavior, the confinement will be brief.
I propose that IIH, IIF… be run by a committee of Michael Kei, BernBabyBern and I’m Bill White, overseen by Mons Meg, with pro tem duties by Alphonso, and the rest of the crew on 24-hour standby.
This will allow El Dickweed to regain his self-deluded dignity while resting and rhyming “Matsui” with “kerflooey.”
It’s sad but necessary. We must rise above this sorry episode that threatens to put a giant asterisk on our hard-won #27.
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9 comments:
I second that! Maybe I'll do my yearly post tomorrow...
Clearly we should be in charge
Anon is right! we the people MUST be in CHARGE
Whitney, A hostile takeover? Count me in.
(crickets)
I'm with ya, Whiteguy!
Aw, c'mon. El D will sober up from the victory party eventually. Give it time.
Eva Longoria? Please explain why I should hate her. Because her name is so close to Evan Longoria? Surely you can do better than that.
Getting off on the wrong foot, deadhead.
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