Live Yankee Chat: Wednesday 5 p.m.

Live Yankee Chat: Wednesday 5 p.m.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Yankeetorial: Boston is chasing Halladay, and we have been here before

Robin, set the Batputer to Thanksgiving 2003....

(Static sound) Batman, this is Commissioner Gordon. We have reports from Gotham City that the criminal mastermind Two-Face is on the verge of teaming up with ARod! Help! We can't let it happen! Do something, Batman! Enlist your superfriend, Cashman! OMG! the walls are caving. If they get ARod, all is lost! (Static noise, end of transmission.)


Today, we are receiving a similar transmission, except Two-Face (pictured below) is now supposedly on the verge of teaming up with the evil Doctor Halladay.


This time, we must not intervene. In 2003, we overcompensated. After we signed Arod, Robin was heartbroken and turned into Robin Ventura. We lost the chemistry of our super duo. We lost six years.

This time, we must do the following:

1. Put in a decent, but low, bid for the evil Halladay, making the evil Theo squirm. Cashman, you are in charge.

2. Program the Batputer for explore trade options for Josh Johnson of Florida, who is younger and a future ex-Marlin.

3. Sign John Lackey.

If in doubt, forget Numbers 1 and 2. Just sign John Lackey.
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Let Hideki Matusi go. Let Xavier Nady go. Let Jose Molina go.
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That's $20 million a year, right there. Take half and sign John Lackey.

If you weaken, think of that pivotal moment in Game 5 of the 2009 playoffs when Mike Scioscia took out Lackey, who was screaming pissy mad, and brought in Oliver, who gave up a triple to Tex. Yeah, they won the game anyway. But Lackey was pitching a shutout. The guy is a gamer. Sign Lackey. He's younger than Halladay. He's still building his career. We keep Joba and Hughes. SIGN LACKEY, SIGN LACKEY, SIGN LACKEY. We stay in the hunt for Josh Johnson.
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DO NOT PANIC! DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO A HUGE TRADE FOR HALLADAY THAT WILL LEAVE THE REDSOCKS ABLE TO SIGN LACKEY AND TRADE FOR KING FELIX OR JOSH JOHNSON. DO NOT LET THEM HOLD THE CARDS. IF THEY WANT HALLADAY, LET THEM TRADE A BUNDLE. THEY WANT US TO OVER-REACT. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE LEAKING THEIR PLANS. WE HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE. DON'T BITE.
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JUST SIGN LACKEY. WE WILL WIN THE 2010 WORLD SERIES IF WE SIGN LACKEY.

3 comments:

She-Fan said...

I want the Evil Halladay. And I hope Cashman is having turkey with him tomorrow, as well as stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie.

Anonymous said...

Gravy. Don't forget the gravy !

Jim Leyritz's Cellmate said...

I couldn't agree more.

Halladay, to me, is like Pedro circa 2002. He's still good, but not terrifying. You know he's on the declining side of his career. Sure, he may go out there and one-hit you, but he may also give up five runs over six or seven innings.


Halladay isn't Beckett 2003 or even Schilling 2001. Let the Sox get him (as you said, Cash needs to drive up the price a bit) and grab Lackey for nothing but cold-hard newly found money.