Thoughts and prayers to the Dodgers and Braves, as we joyfully await tonight's bloodletting

In all of sports, nothing ruptures the human soul like a full-scale, total eclipse, Cat-5, projectile-vomit, Mentos-in-Coke baseball blowout. 

Certainly, football has its 66-0 snoozers, and it's fun when the lone question in a basketball game is whether one team can reach 120. But those wipeouts are limited by a clock, and with each ticktock, the end comes closer. Baseball has no timer, and when your team is getting emulsified, there is no guarantee that it will ever end. You might have stepped into a cosmic wormhole, and you'll be here forever. Baseball blowouts are existential crises, especially in October.

On that note, to any straggling fans of the Atlanta Braves - (God, I can't imagine the horrifying circumstances that brings you here) - I offer the rudimentary T & P, (that's "thoughts & prayers," as the human oil cans say.) Yesterday evening, I turned on the Braves game in what I figured would be the third inning. It was still the first. The fans were booing, the announcers were stuttering, and all hope had been sucked from Your Name Here Stadium like milk from a turd. 

So much for that World Series reunion of lost Yanks - Brian McCann (this morning, retired), Francisco Cervelli (the ghost of Scranton), Shane Greene (who brought us Didi), Mark Melancon (who brought us Lance Berkman) and even Adeiny Hechavarria, whose time in pinstripes may have been a fever dream... gone, vanished, disappeared, with barely a memory worth remembering.

Also, so long to the mighty Dodgers, winners of 106 regular season games, and would-be owners of the home field advantage. Sorry, LA, but that long run of division titles may be over, with nothing to show for it. (That's what you get for firing Mattingly.) Think of all those B-list celebrities, all the stars of "the current hit that everyone is talking about," who shall be denied their moment in the luxury box. So sad. To the people of California, my hope is that Pacific Gas & Electric cut your power in time to spare you from last night's meltdown. From now on, you've got Friday night pro wrestling. Cheer up. No scripted story line can be as painful as what you've already endured. 

Meanwhile, this is wonderful! Tonight, one of our Yankee nemeses - Houston or Tampa - will disappear, and one thing is certain: From the losing dugout, they'll be gushing tears like Freddie Patek. We will watch the end of 2019, which until now had been a joyful confluence of victories. Up in flames.

Tonight, we get to sit in the blood splatter section of the steel cage death match, while the Rays and Astros trade gouges. Each pitch in on the hands, each dive for a liner, each inning added to a pitcher's barking elbow... it's an ice cream sandwich, and we will be Jesus Montero. I hope it lasts well into the morning. For the Yankees, it's a cosmic freebie: Barring an alien intervention, nothing bad can happen. 

That it will take place simultaneously with a Giants-Patriots blowout - in Boston, no less - is a sign of well planned juju logistics. I have always believed, even when facts didn't support it, that the Yankees and Giants are psychically linked. The universe offers each fan a baseline level of joy, and in this case, when the Giants win, the Yankees must lose. And verse visa. We should accept this. Thus, tonight, the ridiculously inept Giants will be cat-tortured for four hours by Belichick's grease thugs. But you know what? It won't rattle me. No matter what happens, no matter how bad they beat on us, our friend Mr. Clock will be ticking, and after an hour, we shall be released. But on some other channel, for either Tampa or Houston, the Hell will never end. Howl, howl, howl.  

Aaron Hicks says he's ready. So.... whattawegonnado?

In mid-May, after missing the first six weeks of the regular season, Aaron Hicks returned from injury to the Yankees, as he has done several times. 

In his first two games, he went 0-8 with four strikeouts. Bad. In game three, he singled twice in five at-bats. In his fourth game, he went 2-3 with a homer. So, if you're looking at the entire season, it took him three games to shake off the doldrums.

So here's the existential question facing the Death Star: In a seven-game playoff series, can the Yankees wait - say - two days for Hicks to restore his swing? 

And should they pull apart their current lineup to do so? 

Damned if I know. 

In his career, Hicks has been plagued by tweaks and strains. Last year, for the first time, he played a full season - hitting 27 HRs and .248. This coaxed the Yankees into giving him a long-term contract.  

The previous season, he twice missed long stretches due to injuries. The first time, he returned in August after being out five weeks. In his first game, he went 0-5. But in game two, he hit a homer and double in five plate appearances. 

That September, after missing three weeks - he went 0-4 in the first game, then homered in each of his next two. 

An interesting track record: It takes him a day or two, and then he heats up. 

But again... can we wait two days? 

Damned if I know.

Another question: Who on the roster would he replace? Cameron Maybin, as a late inning defensive replacement? If so, Hicks would play CF and move Gardy to left. He isn't as fast as Maybin, but he can steal bases, and he does switch hit. That's not nothing. Then again, Maybin homered the other day, endearing himself to fans in a way Giancarlo Stanton has yet to accomplish. 

Or could Hicks replace Luke Voit? In case of a "break-glass" injury, the Yankees would have Edwin Encarnacion to backup at 1B. Is a rusty Hicks better than a hernia-affected Voit, who ended the season in a dark slump?  

Damned if I know. But an interesting dilemma, no?

Five simple appeals to the juju gods for Thursday's Astros-Rays finale

Dear celestial, middle-management deities who are in charge of fixing Thursday night's game: 

I have five minor requests...

1. May it last all night. For such an epic rivalry as Houston-Tampa, nine innings will simply not be enough. Twelve would be nice. Nineteen, perfect. At the end - around 9 a.m. Friday E.D.T. - the Rays' Charlie Morton should be dueling Justin Verlander, each having thrown 75 pitches in relief. Both catchers should go the distance. Wait, did I ask for only nineteen innings? I meant twenty-four.  

2. May grizzled gonads barketh. It goes without saying that I wish injuries on no player. But if you think about it, a tweaked gonad is a sign of being alive! Your groin is telling you, "I am here, I am stretched, and I shall not be silenced!" What better way to enjoy October than with a jockstrap made of ice and a good supply of comic books. Yankees spent 2019 recovering from twisted buttocks and strained cabbage baskets. I'm just saying the law of random numbers should be honored.   

3. May the night be warm. Ninety-five degrees at field level. That way, players won't take long to warm up.

4. May pitchers be "respected." Sometimes, to earn the appreciation and admiration that every Major League pitcher deserves, he must confront an opposing batter or two. Certainly, the last thing I want is a bean ball war. Mercy, no. To me, the very notion of pitchers throwing at batters is repugnant, and I hereby condemn it with all the virtuous strength of this blog. There is no room in the Yankiverse for fans who would cheer such a pockmark, such a malignancy, upon the game. Under absolutely no circumstances will I tolerate calls for anything less than the good sportsmanship for which all Yankees and their fans are known. And if anyone thinks I'm kidding, they will find themselves swiftly and permanently banned from this site and all future Yankee related activities. WE DO NOT TOLERATE THAT KIND OF BAD FAITH DISCOURSE! 

That said, "chin music" is a cherished legacy of the game, a throwback to those who helped build baseball into the national pastime. To not throw at certain bullying batters - you know their names - would betray the legacies of Don Drysdale, Sal Maglie, Bob Gibson, Roger Clemens, Goose Gossage and other all time greats. Also, it's the batter's job to get out of the way. So I would simply ask the juju gods to let the players play and the pitchers pitch, and if a few bones get broken, well, they have all winter to heal! 

5. May the better team win. By "better team," I mean Tampa. Let's play Saturday in New York.

Do we feel lucky?

With the unexpected blowout of Greinke yesterday, Houston has decided to flip the script and pitch Verlander against the Witness Protection Rays tonight.

Did we just get a break?  Is this an unforced error?

Chances are it will work out for the Astros.  Verlander, we're told, is the oldest pitcher to be working on short rest in a postseason game since Andy Pettitte in Game 6 of the 2009 World Series, and that worked out just fine.

Or did it?  Pettitte gutted it out, leaving with a 7-3 lead.  But he did give up 4 hits, 5 walks, and 3 earned runs in 5 2/3 innings—not exactly Sandy Koufax, who worked several times in October on short rest, and was lights out as usual.

Had it not been for how a better pen than the one we have now carried us home, we might've been in trouble.

The record is very mixed on this.  Guys like Jim Lonborg (Cy Young winner that year) and Bruce Hurst could not pull it off in the 1967 and 1986 World Series, respectively, even after dominating earlier in those Series.  Kershaw has tried it a couple times and been hit hard, as I recall.

On the other hand, there was the ever-annoying (and much younger) Josh Beckett, who shut us down in 2003.  And let's not even talk about Derek Lowe in 2004.

There is not a big risk factor here for Houston.  Chances are that Verlander, a great pitcher, will be just fine.  And if he's not, Houston can come back with a rested Gerrit Cole, who has been unbelievable, at home.

Still, that would mean neither one would be available to start in Game 1 against the Yanks.  It would have to be Greinke, whom we're told didn't have the touch on his pitches because of too much rest.  He would be almost as rusty.

And who is to say how much pitching more innings, on less rest, takes out of a veteran pitcher at the end of the season?

Baseball men like to pretend that, in big games or at the end of the season, rest doesn't matter.  That by getting up for the big games, you will overcome any and every amount of physical fatigue.

That is a giant cartload of baloney, particularly for pitchers, whose arms only have so many pitches in them.  Joe Torre's constant refusal to believe that pitchers wear out led him to push The Great One into the disasters of 2001 and 2004—and to pitch numerous set-up men right out of baseball.

Even so great a hurler as Christy Mathewson had a flame-out game back in the make-up of the Merkle game in 1908.  Mathewson knew from the beginning that his arm had nothing.  He was able to get by on guile for several innings, then got hit.

It happens, even to the best of them.  And what managers never seem to comprehend is that even if pitchers can gut it out, they're not necessarily the same.

Bobby Valentine was sure that Al Leiter could get Luis Sojo in a big situation.  And probably, in most games, he could.  But Al Leiter at 143 pitches, at the end of the year, was not Al Leiter.

Win or lose against TB, will Verlander be Verlander against our boys?

Maybe, maybe not.  But it seems to me an unnecessary risk for the Astros to take.  They should have kept Miley on the bench, pitched him in Game 4, and then used Verlander, fully rested, in Game 5.  They have—maybe—given us an opening.

Reflections on the morning after Minnesota

Stayed up past bedtime, champagne clinging to my p-jays, thinking thoughtful thoughts...

1. What if Luis Severino pitched the fifth. After struggling through the first three innings, he looked lights out in the fourth. Remember Sevy at his peak? He was one of those Gibson-like starters who grows stronger by the inning. Could have have gone a few more and spared us the full-on bullpen? Not blaming Boone: In many respects, it was wise to give Sevy a positive night: four innings, no runs. But it strikes me that we'll be seeing Sevy's worst - the shaky early innings - and maybe not his best.

2. Regardless of the score, Aroldis Chapman has a way of terrifying us. Last night, he surrendered a lead-off single, then walked the next batter, creating a Forbin Project scenario with Nelson Cruz as the tying run. El Chapo saved the day, as he always does - except for when he doesn't, and the asteroid hits. It's frightening sometimes, how close we come to doomsday. If Aroldis opts out of his Yankee contract this winter, I'm not sure Cooperstown Cashman will paint the skies green to keep him. He's a great pitcher, a hall of famer, but when his fastball inevitably diminishes to 96, some team will be left holding a soggy bag filled with dead kittens. 

3. Kudos to Aaron Boone for batting Gardy third. At first, I thought it misprint. To right all the righties, as token lefty, Didi was supposed to hit third, but the last month killed that notion. Gardy has proven himself as team leader and champion grinder of pitches. When we face Houston, hope may have to come in the form of rising pitch counts. Gardy can be a 10-pitch out. We'll need a bunch to outlast Verlander and company. 

4. Neither Kahnle nor Ottavino look sharp. Nor does Boone show confidence in either. Sometime soon, we need a six- or seven-inning start.  

5. Luke Voit made the playoff roster but never saw a pitch. Barring an injury, he never will. I can't help but think Mike Ford offers more options. If we face a wipe-out bullpen righty, at least Ford gives us a platoon. 

6. Why not say it: Right now, Cameron Maybin is superior to Giancarlo Stanton in every phase of the game. Stanton patrols left field like a man pulling a plow. That said, I get Boone's decision to play Stanton. If the big guy gets hot, he could carry this team. Still, if he goes deep into the next series with pop-ups and sombreros, Boone must remember the Joe Torre Rule: In October, you don't make friends.

7. If you want a parlor game, how about this: Who on the 2019 Yankees will make the Hall of Fame. I've got CC Sabathia, Aroldis Chapman, Aaron Judge, Gleyber Torres and maybe Giancarlo Stanton. 

8. If, after all the adversity they have endured, the Yankees fail to win the World Series, let's do a Trump: We'll claim the system is rigged, we'll refuse to accept the outcome, and we'll hold a parade down the Canyon of Heroes. Rudy Giuliani can hand us the trophy, and we'll claim the crowd is the biggest in history. YES Network, are you with us?

TWINS! WE LOVE 'EM!

Game III in the books...

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2019 AMERICAN LEAGUE DIVISIONAL SERIES CO-CHAMPIONS!

"Sticking it to the man"?

Congratulations to Kevin Kiermaier, a fine ballplayer, for once getting the Tampa Bay Witness Protection Rays off to a flying start with a three-run homer against Greinke.

Kiermaier, you readers of the Paper of Record may recall, was recently profiled in a Tyler Kepner column on how those wonderful, low-payroll, "overachievers," the Rays and the A's, were meeting in the AL wild card.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/02/sports/baseball/al-wild-card-as-rays.html

The Times could not be bothered to send so much as a high-school stringer up to cover the Yankees or the Mets for much of this year.  But they were quite willing to send Kepner out to California, to wax rapturously over how little money both teams were spending, something that matters a great, great deal to all of us who own shares in those ball clubs.

"It's a beautiful thing having the lowest payroll in baseball and having the success we did," Kiermaier opined in Kepner's column.  "It always feels good to stick it to the man any time you're able to in this game, and that's something to be very proud of."

Amen.  Kepner noted—without irony—that Kiermaier's salary this year was a mere $8.9 million.  According to baseball reference, Kevin's baseball earnings to date are over $18 million, and he is signed up to receive a further $33.5 million by the time he reaches the ripe old age of 33.

This is despite the fact that Kevin, a splendid centerfielder and lifetime .249 hitter, batted .228 this season and .217 the next, and has only managed to play one full season during the six full years he has been in the majors.

Sorry, Kevin.  But anyone who is going to be worth at least $50 mill or so by the time he's 33—in good part for sitting in a whirlpool bath—unreservedly qualifies as, "The Man."

But I don't mean to take my sneers out on Kevin, just one more in that fraternity of political/economic lunkheads who run the most militant union in America and are at the same time, almost to a man, dyed-in-the-wool hardcore right-wingers.

Weirdly unmentioned, anywhere, in Kepner's article were a few other individuals.  Namely, the people who own the A's and the Rays.

The Athletics are owned by John T. Fisher, who came by his $2.4 billion fortune honestly—he inherited it from his parents, who founded The Gap.  But hey, I don't want to rank on Fisher, who is at least seriously examining how to make the A's more profitable by examining how to build a new stadium with his own money out in Oakland.

I will only note that the Athletics' problems have been largely self-created, ever since they made the epically idiotic decision to move from Philadelphia—maybe the 4th or 5th largest market in the country then—to Kansas City, and then Oakland.  And that MLB could help them overcome their "small-market" status in about five minutes if they'd only let them move to San Jose, which the Giants have designated their territory.

No, I want to draw your attention to the mystery owners of the Tampa Bay Rays, whom Tyler Kepner apparently failed to run down for his column.

They are Brooklyn's own Stuart Sternberg, and his longtime sidekick and FELLOW GOLDMAN SACHS PARTNER Matthew Silverman.

Yes, these are the people now being depicted as brave upstarts, standing up to "The Man":  Goldman partners.

Now, it is true that the Rays rank 29th among MLB's 30 teams in estimated value.  In 2018, according to Forbes, they were worth a measly $1.01 billion.  Debt is 20 percent of the team's value, which is relatively high compared to the rest of MLB, but not extraordinary; many teams have 10-15 percent.

More importantly, the Ray's operating expenses were only $27 million in 2018, while their payroll was just $121 million, and their revenue...$228 million.  Kepner brags that their payroll was down to a mere $63 million in 2019.

This means that their profit this year may have been $140 million.  And I don't know if that even counts the revenue sharing and luxury tax money—that is, money that fans like us are forced to fork over to these bozos.

Wiki notes that Sternberg "has remained a low-key owner who sees his primary goal with the team as getting their finances in order, not winning games."  How nice for the fans, who reportedly "hoped he would sell the Rays and buy the Mets" a few years back, "citing the owner's lack of commitment to the area and the on-field product."

Sternberg has owned the Rays since 2004, which means that their finances should really, really be in order by now.  And I suspect they are—for Sternberg, who likely has been personally raking in tens of millions in pure profit, every year.

 Of course, if they're not, he can always sell the team.  FOR A BILLION DOLLARS.

Instead, though, good old Stu has concentrated on shaking down the Tampa Bay-St. Pete community for still more boatloads of moolah, mainly by insisting that the good citizens there buy him a great new ballpark.  And in an attempt to leverage said ballpark, he has now come up with that boffo, MLB-approved plan to split the team's home games with Montreal.

Walter O'Malley couldn't have been more self-interested.

Doing those sorts of old-fashioned capitalist things like making money by building a terrific product or maybe lowering your prices to increase sales...no can do.  Instead, our Stuart has been trained well on Wall Street:  you make money by getting other people to take your risks for you, subsidize your mediocrity, and erase your failures.

An interesting sidenote about the Tampa area is that people there are obsessed with pirates.  They can't wait for any excuse to dress up like one.

Stuart Sternberg has found the perfect home.

Tonight, the Yankees need to see Giancarlo and Gary

Fans don't experience "slumps." We undergo "bad days" that sometimes lead to a "bad week," but neither is generally tied to how we're swinging our bat. Some shittiness happens - a misplaced wallet or a flat tire - leading to a lousy, miserable, rotten, stinko few days. But it's as if you fell into a slump. It's just life. It's China Town, Jake.

Ballplayers, however, fall into slumps. They start lunging. They start flailing. They start overthinking. In a given year, it's a certainty that they will slide into the Stygian abyss of at least one 0-for-16. The slump can be self-generating, the result of too much awareness. If Rene Descartes had been a baseball fan, he would have written, "I think, therefore I slump." 

In the post-season's first two games, Giancarlo Stanton and Gary Sanchez are a combined 0-8 with one run, one RBI and four strike outs. Their contributions have come in walks: Six of them. Normally, two games aren't enough to raise concern. But Stanton and Sanchez are back from tweaks, and neither has shown a spark of his former self. 

If they go 0-for-tonight, the "s-word" might get uttered. 

I donno what Aaron Boone can do here. Nothing, probably. A dirty little secret of the 2019 Yankees is that Austin Romine became the best backup catcher in baseball, and the Yankees lose almost nothing when Gary is hurt. (Over a long haul, Romine breaks down, but in short spurts, he's great.) It's also true that Stanton remains a dumpster fire in left field, an impersonation of Rudy Giuliani on any ball hit his way, while Cameron Maybin brings defense, speed and situational hitting to the lineup. In both cases, the Yanks might be a better team by playing the replacements - a fitting moral to 2019, wouldn't you say?

Alas, it cannot happen. We know the reality of Boone's options: He cannot bench either Sanchez or Stanton, not yet anyway. In NY, you can't have a star on the bench, brooding in front of the cameras, with the Gammonites salivating over post-game interviews. If their "slumps" extend deep into the Houston series - assuming we get to that series - there will come a desperate moment when Boone drops the bomb. It will probably be too late, after Stanton has blown a critical fly ball, or Sanchez has secured his second golden sombrero. By then, it probably won't matter. Games three, four and five will happen in NY. It's easy to imagine the cascade of boos as either of them marches back to the dugout. We've been there. We're heard it. It's the kind of wretchedness that puts a blemish on an entire season. You go 162 wonderful games, and an in the end, all you remember is that the Grandyman couldn't.  

The message here? We've been here before. We're on a predestined course, and once it becomes crystal clear, nothing we do can change it. Tonight, it sure would be wonderful if Stanton and Sanchez break the ice jam of their .000 batting averages. An infield hit (like the one Stanton just missed in game one) or a blast (like the foul ball Sanchez hit in game two) could do the trick. If Stanton and Sanchez start hitting, we can win this October. But with two massive holes in the center of our batting order, nope - it will only get worse. For now, everybody is contributing, and nobody is saying the s-word. A bloop and a blast, that could do it. A seeing-eye grounder, a roller down the line, anything... let's hope.

Meanwhile, the investigation continues...

...right?

I mean, the investigation into whether the suspended Domingo German did or did not slap (or worse) his wife (girlfriend?) at home or in public.

I'm sure that, even as we speak, MLB's crack gumshoes are delving deep into the whole tangled (or at least mysterious) story of that which for German has already been disappeared for.

It could not possibly be that the MLB officials in charge are, say, chilling out and watching the games, and performing whatever unctuous media services are needed for the duration of the playoffs and World Series.  Right?

Not possible, because the investigation had to be so imminent.  And it was so deep and complex that we should not be at all surprised that it's already lasted for half-a-month.  Right?

My prediction?  Results will be forthcoming sometime after October 30th, the last day of the World Series.  Maybe 4-5 days later, when baseball will be fading from the headlines and this won't be a big black eye for the sport.

Gee, what a coincidence.

Now, they hate us because we chanted "Uber"

Being a Yankee fan is like running for office: Not matter what you do, the other side is going to hate you.

You can live a clean life. You can help the poor. You can give up meat. It doesn't matter. They're going to hate you. They'll cook up something. 

Today, they hate Yankee fans for chanting "Uber" while that Twins pitcher was on the mound. Actually, I thought it was rather funny. The fans learned enough about the guy to personalize their chant, instead of just booing or yelling garden variety obscenities. In a way, it was almost a tribute. Did they hurt his feelings? I doubt it. I bet he thought it was funny. Did they hurt the feelings of Uber drivers? My guess is that a few in that crowd are Uber drivers. They were probably Ubering the loudest.

Oh, well, they hate us. Used to be, they hated us because the Yankees always won. That thought we were spoiled, piggish, crude, obnoxious, loudmouthed jerks - when nothing could be further from the truth. We understood why they were doing it: To playfully rib us, the way people call a bald man "curly" or a 300-pounder "tiny." As a result, it was fun to inspire such theatrical enmity. These days, nobody can rightfully hate us for winning too much. So they have to come up with something. Uber. Go figure. 

To Sir, With Love

Now and then, my thoughts turn to winter. Will Syracuse again win the Golden Snowball? Can Taylor Swift beat Lana Del Ray in the charts? Will the Fox News aliens finally make contact? And how will the events of October reshape the future Yankees?

For example, will the Death Star re-sign Edwin Encarnacion? You have to wonder. It's a team of daily DH candidates - Stanton, Sanchez, Voit, Thunder, everybody who's nursing something, etc. But what if the Parrot leads us to a championship? When the Whoos sang their carols, the Grinch's heart expanded 10 times. Could the same happen with Food Stamp Hal's wallet? Christmas in New York... anything is possible.

Still, Encarnacion is a six-month Yankee. We might love him, but six-month Yankees come and go. The torture question this winter concerns Sir Didi Gregorius, last night's hero.

By now, we've all seen Didi's slam, how he grabbed the top of the bat and pretzeled himself like Carlton Fisk, keeping it fair. He rounded the bases without cracking a smile, then later - at the crowd's demand - goal-posted his hands in Nixon fashion, rousing the loudest cheer of the night, if not the season.

Listen: That might have been the last great moment of Didi's Yankee career. 

Before continuing, one point: No way I'm thinking this series is over. After 2004, I will never pop a cork on champagne or ungoosh a can of Old Milwaukee before the final out of the final game. I can list 100 reasons why the Yanks could flat-line in Minnesota and return home Wednesday with the Twins on stilts and Luis Cessa in the mix. Buried in that list is the chance that Didi leaves 10 runners in scoring position, cementing his future in another town. 

Considering what we know about Food Stamp Hal's austerity program - aka  Yankee cheapness - will we re-sign our most beloved player?

The heart says yes. The head isn't so sure. And my guess is that Cooperstown Cashman didn't last this long by putting either in front of Hal's money clip. When Didi declares for free agency, several teams - quite possibly the Mets and Redsocks - will answer the call. (By the way, this would favor us keeping him, because Hal won't want to lose to a rival.) Didi can play anywhere. He'll turn 30 in February and expect a huge bump from his $11.5 million salary. He's coming off a bad year due to injuries. At SS, the Yankees would have five fallback options - Gio Urshela, DJ LeMahieu, Gleyber Torres, Thairo Estrada and Tyler Wade (who in my opinion is vastly underrated.) There will also be a bunch of nobodies on the free agent scrapheap, with Cashman looking to burnish his reputation for having the magic touch. (Don't forget: Last winter, the Yankees briefly had Hanser Alberto - who finished 8th in the AL in hitting for Baltimore - before losing him in a roster crunch; it's amazing, the talent that is out there.)  

So, it doesn't look good for Didi returning... unless you factor in the Hero Quotient. What if Didi goes on a tear, the way Jackie Bradley Jr. did last October, (which saved his time in Boston.) If Didi helps lead the Yankees to a world series, it would be hard for Hal to let him walk, no matter who offers what? So at least for now, let's go with our heart. Sir Didi Gregorius is everybody's favorite Yankee. I've found that even Redsock fans like him. He plays with a joyfulness you seldom see. He needs is a big October. Maybe, just maybe, it started last night.

8-1

8-0

1-0

What We Need Is...

More of this—




and less of this:




And, oh yeah, more of what we saw last night from:

One down, 10 to go

It is said that, on the hangover morning of Jan. 2, the secret poobahs of Pasadena gather to plan next year's Rose Bowl Parade. Wait, maybe I'm thinking of the Orange Bowl Parade? It's definitely not the Canyon of Heroes Parade, because in this millennium, nobody expects a New York team to win. 

We will not drop our guard. 

Nope. No way. If you're looking for delirious fan cooing, google Billie Eillish. Yeah, we won last night. One down, ten to go. The 10-4 score is a lie; I could show you 50 moments where one tweak from the juju gods could have turned the game on its elbow. Overall, the Twins looked ragged... maybe too ragged. They might have put their clunker game behind them.  

Some observations...

1. Didi Gregorius and Gary Sanchez, stashed at the butt of the order, looked dazed and confused. Neither got a hit. Together, they struck out five times, and stranded eight. Didi drew a walk in the eighth, a quality at-bat that hopefully will lead to something. Still, it's worth pondering a lineup with Austin Romine catching and Gleyber Torres at SS. That would let Luke Voit or Edwin Encarnacion play 1B, make Giancarlo Stanton a DH, and put Hammerin' Cameron Maybin - who looked electric last night, stealing two bases - in left. I'm not calling for an overhaul, not yet. But Romine is our best kept secret, and Didi is still turning gopher balls into pop-ups. 

2. Aaron Boone nearly micro-managed a defeat. At times, you wondered if he realized it was a nine-inning game. He yanked Ottavino after one batter, and left a gaping vacancy in the eighth, apparently expecting El Chapo to throw a two-inning save. That's dangerous. Had the game not become a blow-out, our mighty bullpen would have been reduced to stems and seeds, (Cessas and Lyons.) Is J.A. Happ our eighth inning man? This is trouble.

3. I've always believed that, on any given day, the biggest, baddest and best player on the field dictates the game. For many years, that was the case with David Ortiz, whose presence was always on our minds. (When a Redsock got a hit in the eighth, we shuddered to think it meant Big Pappy coming to the plate in the ninth.) Last night, the biggest, baddest and best player on the field - by far - was Aaron Judge. He made two great catches - nearly stole a homer - and scared the Twins pitchers shitless. If I were a Minnesota fan, I'd hide behind the couch every time Judge emerges from the dugout. And if we play Houston, he will still be The One. 

4. It was a strange pleasure to hear Bob Costas call last night's game, a reminder of what eloquence sounds like, especially compared to the talking pigeon shows of modern network announcing. But I doubt we'll hear him often. Late in the game, Costas reflected sadly on the endless progression of walks, strikeouts and home runs, which made an agonizing four hours feel like four days. He's right. This winter, I don't know what the game's fathers plan to do - actually, I shudder to imagine it - but baseball faces an existential crisis of tedium. Watching all those HR records stacked upon each other - they're like the escalating climate stats on global warming. At some point, everything melts down. Baseball cannot afford to become more HR-K-BB crazy. 

5. The announcers rightfully stressed the importance of winning game one. But after 2004, no Yank fan will ever sleep on a lead without expecting the worst. If the Twins win tonight, they go home with the advantage. We have nothing to celebrate. You want a good view for the Canyon of Heroes Parade? Go there now. Good seats still available.

That was a big Yankee win*

*Every Yankee win is a big Yankee win.

Seven and a half: Sweet

Seven in the book: Breathing easier

Six and a half: AARON F-----G JUDGE

Six in: They cannot hold us

Five and a half: We need a hero from the pen

Five down: A lost opportunity

Gary and Didi look lost.

Four and a half innings: It's an official game.

Are we expecting Aroldis to throw two innings?

Four innings in: Three runs is not going to win this

Three and a half: 1,2,3 go the Twins...

Three innings in: TAKE THAT, MINNESOTA

Two and a half: It gets worse

Two innings in: Is this gonna be one of those games?

One and one-half innings: A bad omen

LeMahieu dropping a routine pop up? You gotta be kidding me.

One inning: We are already screwed

One half inning: Uh oh

Down by one

Preparing for the worst, get used to saying the name "Jasson Dominiguez"

Tonight, if everything goes south, keep this in mind:

Somewhere near the equator, where it's always hot and muggy, 16-year-old Jasson Dominguez's testicles are dropping further. And when he's not thinking about girls, he is hitting baseballs.

Dominguez, recipient of the largest signing bonus ever for a 16-year-old Latino, is viewed as the next Bryce Trout. He plays centerfield and supposedly does everything. We signed him for more than $5 million - about twice what we gave Gary Sanchez.  

He homered the other day in some rural dirt league. His first professional home run. 

So, if everything collapses around us tonight, hide behind the couch, clutch whatever Yankee talisman provides comfort, and whisper his name until sleep takes you. Someday... 

Big Game Tonight!!

Well, comrades, here we are...

A hundred-sixty-two games, a hundred-and-four wins, a thousand tweaks, a million frayed nerves, a six month roller coaster of hope and despair, and there are no words - none - that matter.

Since late July, we've known this team was playoff-bound. The question was, who would be healthy enough to play? Now, we know: Almost everyone. It's too late to cry about Dellin Betances or Aaron Hicks; they're items for the hot stove. We know our rotation, we know our lineup, and we know our opponent. It's like Election Night, and all the polls, all the conjecture, none of it matters. 

Tonight, I will try to post something each inning, so if you need a primal scream, or to remind Cashman why we needed Patrick Corbin, the game thread should be piping hot. 

Rosters will be announced this morning. By the time you read this, they might be out. From where I sit, I'd prefer Mike Ford over Luke Voit - the monster lefty over the hernia-compromised Cool Bat Luke. But I won't quibble. Voit has been the Yankees' spirit animal, and it might be wiser to keep him. Also, the Twins lefty bullpen could negate Ford's platoon advantage. 

Frankly, the loss of CC Sabathia does not bother me. Lost in the talk about his bullpen conversion was his inability to field bunts and cover first base. During the regular season, nobody wanted to bunt on the Grand Old Man, who would likely throw at the next batter's head. But this is now. If I were facing CC, I'd make him field his position. His bullpen spot will be filled by a late season scrap heaper. If we see them, we will be far ahead or far behind. 

Edwin Encarnacion says he's ready. So does Giancarlo Stanton. Since July, this was a fantasy, the lineup we've barely seen all year. The planets have aligned, for better or worse.  

So, here we are, as Friedrich Nietzche wrote: Gazing into the abyss, as it gazes back into us. 

Back in college, a long time ago, I took a course in Nietzche. I know that you can't predict baseball, Suzyn, but Nietzche predicted a lot of things, almost to the exact timeline. He foresaw both World Wars, followed by a half-century of relative stability. Then he said humankind would face The Abyss: A dark, desperate, overwhelming cynicism, which would devour us. We would come to believe in nothing. Does anything better describe the state of our world? 

Well, I believe in the 2019 Yankees. It's a choice I'm going to make. I'm going to believe the Yankees win the World Series, and that our nation is going to not only survive, but repudiate The Abyss. Maybe it starts tonight. Or maybe none of my words matter.

Well, comrades, here we are...

The road to the series involves nothing but Yankee-hating teams

In a way, it's like old times. Everybody hates us. 

Used to be, they hated the Yankees because we always won, or we bought pennants, or we were a pampered collection of millionaires and fat cat fans, owned by a bombastic, schoolyard bully whom everyone rightfully despised. The whole country hated us. In fact, that's how Boston built its national following: By hating us more than anyone else. A perfect marketing strategy. They might as well have been printing money. Everyone hated us, the Evil Empire, long after that singular phrase became a punch line, used to mock our withering, also-ran mediocrity.

So, tell me again how these 2019 Yankees deserve such enmity...

This is a team that should have died in May, when half its lineup disappeared in a wormhole of gonadal tweaks. We lost our best pitcher. We lost our 100-RBI third baseman. We lost our all-star reliever. We lost our center-fielder. We lost our MVP left fielder. We lost our 30-HR catcher. We lost our first-baseman. We'd already lost our shortstop, and then we lost his replacement, Troy Somethingorother, and that's not counting Jacoby Whazizname. We lost $100 million in talent. And then we lost Aaron Judge. 

We found replacements under rocks. Any team in baseball could have acquired Mike Tauchman, Gio Urshela, Luke Voit, Cameron Maybin, David Hale, Breyvic Valera, the toe-tapper, and the hordes that pitched out of our bullpen... for a handful of magic Colter Beans. We rallied under the phrase "Next Man Up," and won the division by Sept. 1. This team deserves to be beloved, or at least appreciated by anybody who ever rooted for an underdog.

And yet, they'll hate us. 

Minnesota hates us because we've beaten them five times. We are their dragon, their Babadook, and they cannot escape their identity crisis hellhole until they beat us. For the Twins, this is a call to arms. For us, it's just another team that, in our hearts, we know cannot be vanquished forever. We don't hate them. They simply hate us.

Tampa hates us because we spend winters there, siphoning off their fan base to the degree that they may someday lose the franchise or - worse - share it with Montreal. In many ways, they hate us far more than Redsock fans; it's just that the world doesn't notice, because nobody goes to their games. If they beat Houston, o, how they will hate us. And on the day when they move to North Carolina, OMG!

Houston hates us because they've gotten used to winning, as we once did, and they see us as a legitimate threat to their regal status. Plus, once you become accustomed to pennants, you start to hate everybody. Rest assured, if they get past Tampa - as we expect - their fan base will summon soul-killing, hate-filled messages, not only against the Yankees but against their ultimate symbol of the boogie man: New York City.

Yep, they hate us. We have the most lovable team in baseball, the greatest collection of overachievers in memory, yet they will hate us. Get ready to rumble. 

Super Fun Off-Day Quiz Package!

Each of these teams is much like the other,
Each of these teams is really strong.
Can you guess which teams I'm talkin', brother,
Before I finish this song?


Team A:

Hitting: Led the league in runs, hits, triples, home runs, walks, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging, OPS, and total bases.  Second in doubles.

Pitching: Led the league in ERA, shutouts, fewest hits, fewest runs, fewest earned runs, fewest home runs, fewest walks, FIP, WHIP, and Double Dip (all right, I made that last one up).  Second in complete games, saves, and strikeouts.

Fielding: Led the league in defensive efficiency (percentage of balls in play converted to outs), total chances, and putouts.

WAR (What is it good for?):  Led the league with a total of 33.4, over the next highest team at 9.6.  Led in pitching, starting pitching, relief pitching, and non-pitchers.  First at first base, second base, shortstop, left field, right field, and total outfield.  Second in center field.


Team B:

Hitting: Led the league in runs, home runs, walks, on-base percentage, slugging, OPS, and total bases.  Second in batting average.

Pitching: Led the league in ERA, complete games, shutouts, saves, fewest hits, fewest runs, fewest earned runs, fewest home runs, WHIP, tuck and nip (just want to be sure you're still reading).  Third in strikeouts, third fewest walks allowed.

Fielding: Led the league in defensive efficiency, fewest errors, double-plays, and fielding percentage.

WAR: Led the league with a total of 28.9, over the next highest team at 8.1.  Led in relief pitching and non-pitchers.  First at catcher, second base, third base, left field, center field, total outfield, and pinch-hitting.  Second in all-pitching, and in right field.  Third in starting pitching.


Team C:

Hitting: Led the league in runs, stolen bases, walks, on-base percentage, and OPS.  Second in hits, batting average, slugging, and total bases.  Fourth in home runs.

Pitching: Led the league in ERA, complete games, shutouts, fewest hits, fewest runs, fewest earned runs, fewest home runs, FIP, and WHIP ("Whip it good!"—Devo). Second in saves.  Fourth in strikeouts.

Fielding: Led the league in defensive efficiency.  Third in total chances, third fewest errors made.

WAR: Led the league with a total of 25.7, over the next highest team at 11.7.  Led in starting pitching and non-pitchers.  First in right field and pinch-hitting.  Second at catching, third base, total outfield.   Third in all-pitching and center field.


Team D:

Hitting: Led the league in walks, fewest strikeouts, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging, OPS, and total bases.  Second in doubles.  Third in runs and home runs.

Pitching: Led the league in fewest hits, fewest runs, fewest earned runs, fewest walks (did not issue a single intentional walk), strikeouts, and WHIP.  Second in ERA, shutouts, and FIP ("That's 'Pip'!"—Charles Dickens).  Third in saves.

Fielding: Led the league in defensive efficiency, fewest errors, fielding percentage.  Third in total chances.

WAR: Led league with a total of 31.7, over the the next highest team at 14.9.  Led in all-pitching, starting pitching, and non-pitchers.  Second at second base, shortstop, third base, left field, total outfield, and designated hitter.  Third in right field and at pinch-hitting.  Fourth in relief pitching.


Have you guessed which teams we're talkin' about here?
Have you guessed which team, is it real clear?
Did you guess which team it is we should fear?
For that team'll win it this year!

Okay, so I was 17 games off in my spring prediction...

So... whadda I know?

Not much.

In fact, rather than blog, and give my ignorance away for free, I should sell my predictions to the highest bidder, who can bet the opposite of whatever I say. Bingo. 

I had the Yankees winning 85 games. (Alphonso had them at 81.) And in the above link, you can find everyone's predictions of March, and they're not pretty.

The combined wisdom of this blog foresaw 93 victories. But there were among sayers of sooth: Carl Weitz and Vampifella... take a bow.

You each predicted 104 wins. 

This is what Carl wrote: I'm probably the most optimistic of the group even though Steinbrenner is a foolish tightwad and Cashman is an obsessive moron. But I'm only sanguine about the number of wins because the Red Sox lost their closer, has a mediocre bullpen and won an odds-defying number of one-run games. Couple that with the Yankees improving their pitching, a bit on defense and their best hitters remaining healthy and having to improve over last year (I'm talking about Bird, Sanchez and Stanton). Couple that with 2/3 of the other teams tanking on purpose or otherwise just sucking and there you have the extra 4 game win total over last year.

Oh, and here's another prediction: I say the Tampa Rays take a big step backward and will be fighting Toronto for third/fourth place. They might not win 81 games.
One last thing: Cashman always claims that the reason he screws over his borderline MLB players such as Frazer and Wade, etc and shops on the scrap heap for worse players is because they "have experience" and signs them for insurance. Where is the Yankee's insurance for Cashman's incompetence?

As for Vamp: The last 5 weeks of play can make the strong teams like the Red Sox, Yanks and Astros go anywhere from 95-105 or higher. It all depends on how much the other teams are phoning in on their games against them. This year's last 5 is easy for the Yanks as they are almost all against teams trying to tank to be the worse, so I'm going with 104 because too many teams will simply hand them games at that point of the season.

I cannot determine who'll go to the WS though. Sox/Stros/Yanks all has about an equal chance. Sox always seems so overpowered but they also loose enough games against the Yanks as well. The Astros can win at any time as well. No one else I really consider a threat against the Yanks. A's/Rays/M's could win a spot just because everyone else is just so bad, but I don't see them being better than the Yanks by any means.

So, how many post-season victories do we predict? Eleven wins the brass ring.

Prediction to follow, but first, some random thoughts, based on last night:

Once again, pitching and defense will win this. That bodes well against Minnesota, with one exception: Giancarlo Clankton in left field. Thus far, he hasn't looked bad, but my recollections are that he remains a borderline DH, and Cameron Maybin deserves the shot. 

Two inning saves are always hell. As soon as Josh Hader started throwing fastballs into the bleachers, Milwaukee was in trouble... because it was only the eighth. I hope Aaron Boone takes notice: With the Yankees deep bullpen, there's no need to bring in Aroldis too soon. 

The week off helps the Wild Card winners. Years ago, the Wild Card was held ASAP, with each team's wear-and-tear on full display. But after last night, Nats will be on stilts when they see the Dodgers, who will spend the week on their Playstatons. The five-day break could ice down Houston. And that's what we must root for: Whichever AL Wild Card team succeeds, they must take the Astros in five. That's our best chance.

I predict six wins. Sorry.

Picks You Should Ignore

Based on my picks for this baseball season so far, you should resolutely ignore everything that follows.

I've been wrong—and consistently wrong—from the start.  In spring training, I had the Yanks missing the playoffs and finishing with only 84 wins, while the Cubs bested the Red Sox in the World Series.

NOT EVEN CLOSE!

And ever since then, I have regularly predicted the demise of your New York Yankees.

But learning nothing from history, I am willing to stick my neck out again in boldly (some might say foolhardily) predicting the playoffs.

Here goes:

NL:

Washington over Milwaukee.  The Nats just have too many weapons for the gutsy but beat-up Brewers.

Atlanta over St. Louis, 3-2.  Two pretty anonymous teams, at least for us back here on the oblivious East Coast.  The Cards are a perennial contender, the Braves have more young talent.

Los Angeles over Washington, 3-2.  The Nats are the one NL team with the starting pitching needed to oust the Dodgers.  But Washington's inadequate bullpen, headed by Sean "Talk to the Animals" Doolittle let the team to repeated meltdowns against the Mets.  When you're losing bullpen battles to the Mets, you ain't gonna take the Bums.

Los Angeles over Atlanta, 4-2.  Braves will give it a good fight.  But the Dodgers will become the first NL team to win at least 3 straight pennants in 75 years.


AL:

Tampa Bay over Oakland.  Should be a fun game, but I think Charlie Morton—yet another pitcher Coops might have picked up for us—should be able to carry TB through.  The Lungers have identical, 48-33 records at home and away.

Minnesota over your New York Yankees, 3-0.  As explained at length yesterday, the Yanks just don't have most of the team that brung 'em, and Ma and Coops will refuse to play those they should.  The Twins play very well on the road, and will be well ahead by the time Five Times Pettitte retires for the season with his Carl Pavano Memorial Buttocks Injury after an inning or so in Game 1.

A betting interest in this dismal ALDS?  The over-under on strikeouts for our boys.  I'm putting it at 45 for the three games—and going with the over.

Houston over Tampa Bay, 3-0.

Houston over Minnesota, 4-1.  The battling Twins will bang one out at home against Miley Cyrus, Houston's slumping fourth starter.  Other than that, this won't be close.


World Series:

Houston over Los Angeles, 4-1.  Again, the Dodgers will win the Miley Cyrus game at home.  But they will follow their historic 3 pennants in a row by becoming the first team since the 1907-09 Detroit Tigers to lose 3 World Series in a row.

Houston, on the other hand, is just getting started.  Now that Boston seems to be signaling that it will take a HAL-like rest on its laurels and lapse into semi-competitive mode for some years, MLB is Houston's for the taking.

This is the dynasty that will emerge, instead of the Yankees hegemony that should have been.  The Astros have the youth, the pitching, and above all the front office to keep going for some time.

Sure, in our brave new world where one-third of the teams make the playoffs, they will get upset sometimes in October.  But overall, we can probably count on a good five-years' worth of continued dominance from them, which in today's baseball is practically an age.

Brewers v Nats: Who should Yankee fans root for?

In an honest fight - horde v. horde, sticks and stones, bare handed brawl - I believe Milwaukee would trounce Washington, DC. 

Yes, DC has 200,000 more soldiers, but the beer-brat, jet-fueled Wisconsin Wackos - maddened by harsh winters, CBD oil, and general Midwestern orneriness - would stomp those obese, bug-eyed DC bureaucrats into the Potomac. In a fair fight. Of course, there's no such thing as a fair fight, eh? DC has the CIA, the whistle-blower, the deep state, Trump's crowd, and nobody survives like a government flunky, so who are we kidding: In a long war - say, seven games - Washington would prevail. 

But who should we, as juju-fearing Yankee fans, root for?

History of the teams: No advantage. Neither franchise has hurt us. I suppose you can go back to the 1950s with Hank Aaron and Warren Spahn, but why bother? The fact is, neither team - even when the Brewers were powerhouses in the AL - with Harmon Killebrew and Don Mincher - didn't torture us any more horribly than everybody did. It's a clean slate. 

As for the Nats, the only reason for their existence over the last five years was to not sign the former future Yankee star, Bryce Harper. And they did their part. He served his time, became a free agent and flew the coop. Everybody thought he'd come to the Yankees, but Hal Steinbrenner wouldn't pull out his wallet. Maybe that was the right move. I dunno. I suppose we should root for the Nats, because poor Washington never wins anything - in any sport. Still, Redskin fans are flat-out obnoxious, and I have to believe the juju gods know this.  

Ex-Yanks and former nemeses: Milwaukee has Gio Gonzalez, who briefly signed a contract this spring with the Yankees, and used his opt-out clause to escape Scranton. They also have Tyler Austin, the former Yankee prospect who beat cancer and homered back-to-back with Aaron Judge, on the day in 2016 that the Yank ship finally turned around and floated towards youth. I always liked Austin (but he finished the season at .188 and 9 HR, which is nothing this year.) In the outfield is Ben Gamel, our former International League MVP, who Cashman traded to Seattle three years ago for two minor league pitchers, neither of whom stands out. (Gamel finished at .248 with 7 HRs.) Gamel always played hard against us. If we face Milwaukee in the world series - (which we won't) - he would be a tough cookie.

Milwaukee also has Drew Pomeranz, a disappointment in Boston, so there's that.

The Nationaks have no former Yankees, not one, unless you include Patrick Corbin, the North Syracusan who should be ours. Can we impeach Hal Steinbrenner? I will blow the whistle. It will be interesting if Corbin pitches Washington to the World Series, because he spent the winter waiting for a call from the Yankees, and they alligator-armed him. Hen went 14-7 with a 3.25 ERA - pitched 202 innings, a workhorse - and he would have been our game one starter. If Washington wins it all, there will be some choice words for Hal on this blog. 

Actually, the Nats are full of players who - in another Steinbrenner era - would have been Yankees. Max Scherzer was ours for the taking. All we had to do was pony up the money, of which the Steinbrenners have an endless supply. He's a future Hall of Famer, first-ballot, and we didn't bother to bid. There is also Howie Kendricks, who has hit well against us for 10 years. And Brian Dozier, who should be on the Twins. 

Overall, the perfect storm for our indignation would be if Washington, behind Corbin and Scherzer, wins the championship. But I'd take either of these teams over the Dodgers. And in terms of picking one to root for, what else is on TV tonight? Isn't Teen Mom 2 starting up?