Saturday, October 5, 2019

8-1


68 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'm starting to have a good feeling about this game.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Gives you an idea how far they have fallen when we are delighted that:

—Stanton can work a walk or hit a sac fly.

—Sanchez can get hit by a pitch or walk.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, not sure who has more chutzpah:

—Tyler Duffy, who has been hit so hard he is in danger of getting fans injured, complaining that he did' get a borderline strike call.

—Sanchez, complaining over a borderline strike call. That was a strike.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Uh-oh. They're showing shots of Coops smirking in his box.

The JuJu gods are not amused.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, Max Kepler denies absolutely that his grandfather worked on the V-2. Just saying.

Publius said...

Brian, Brian
Brian, Brian
I'm begging of you please just go to Stan's

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Forget Stan's, Coops. Just go away.

13bit said...

FOURTH INNING, MOTHERFUCKERS. NOBODY GET COCKY

Publius said...

Brian's a known known, unfortunately

Local Bargain Jerk said...


13bit:

For a moment there, I thought you were ALL CAPS.

I knew it wasn't him, however, because the post didn't end with "KILL ME NOW."

FWIW, when ALL CAPS writes that it makes me laugh almost every time.

13bit said...

I see a red door and I want it painted black. no colors anymore, I want them to turn back. I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. I see a line of cars and they're all painted black. with flowers and my love both never to come back I see people turn their heads and quickly look away. like a newborn baby it just happens every day. I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door and must have it pained black. maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts. it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black.

13bit said...

I don't know, "Kill Me Now" is one of my life, but who am I to question ALL CAPS?

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

13bit - are you suddenly nostalgic for 1966?

JM said...

Austrian Fan, who isn't?

JM said...

Cam unnerving Trailer Park Smeltzer.

TheWinWarblist said...

I'm on the New York state Thruway heading home from visiting one of the spawn who is now a freshman at U of Vermont. All I have is MLB gameday and all of you. It is sufficient.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Ottavino fills me with dread.

TheWinWarblist said...

Smoltz can suck it until he chokes and gags.

HoraceClarke66 said...

3-1 now on Gonzalez. He can't seem to find the plate.

HoraceClarke66 said...

All right.

JM said...

I never had the urge to have a kid. My wife is the same. We find the desire to be a parent kind of mysterious and strange. Even though statistically, we're the strange ones.

Strange, ain't it? You can't predict humans.

TheWinWarblist said...

Or baseball JM. Or baseball.

BernBabyBern said...

I was following game on my phone. Why did they pinch run for Stanton up 7 runs?

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I never had the urge to have a kid. My wife is the same.

This means when you're both retired and in your dotage, the only person who will come visit you at Hebrew Home at Riverdale will be John Sterling. He's been there; it's like a college campus.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM, I'm with you.

Winnie, Groovy Uvie brings back memories. Sort of hazy memories.

I can fortunately listen to the Master and Suzyn and don't have to list to that ahole smuckz. He must be positively palpitating about the Yankees cleaning up. Winner of ONE world series.

TheWinWarblist said...

I mean like I've totally been in this stupid SUV since 5PM. I'm not driving but I'm also NOT drinking. Doing this game sober.

TheWinWarblist said...

From the passenger seat.

JM said...

That's true, LBJ. I hear it's exactly like a college campus.

My wife is 12 years younger than me. Shell visit me. I think.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Warbler, I take it that you are referring to Smoltz's inane ramblings about Babe Ruth. And I agree.

For those of you who missed it, Smoltz was asked a teasing question about how he would have fared against Babe Ruth. He replied that he didn't think Ruth saw a split finger fastball, back in the day.

John, you're probably right. He probably didn't see that.

What the Babe saw, on an average day, were balls soaked in tobacco juice, or emory juice, or licorice. Balls that been grooved and scratched and cuts by masters at the craft. Baseballs that were not regularly replaced, and hence were often covered with dirty, and wobbly, and loose-covered, and barely visible coming out of the late evening gloom unbroken by any stadium lights.

He saw all those pitches, and he hit them. He hit every major-league pitcher there was in his time, and in the many exhibitions against players of color—and the Babe probably played more of them than any man alive. Games that were often played much more intensely than any regular-season game, and in those contests people were able to find records for he hit .455.

He hit them all despite having fewer off-days than anyone else in the game. Because he was the big attraction, the Babe was expected to play in all the podunk exhibitions the Yanks filled in every open date with. That is, he was expected to play the whole game, often pitch, march with the band, pose for endless pictures in funny costumes, and tussle with the kids who inevitably ran out to the outfield to mob him.

He hit playing in the itchy, thick wool uniforms all players had in those days. He played with no more air-conditioning that the cabbage leaf he would sometimes put on his head to cool himself down.

He played without a DH position to rest on—and for most of his career, played a very good outfield. He played without PEDs (unless you count bourbon), and after 24-hour train rides, and no sort of modern training, and all-night rampages, and constant car accidents, and generally living life bigger, higher, and harder than anything Mr. John Smoltz with his split-finger fastball can possibly imagine.

JM said...

Wait, Winnie. Sober? What?

This is why God invented trains. Drink and travel is a good match.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

LBJ,

From personal observation, you're lucky if *one* of the kids wants to help you more than they want an inheritance. The main reason most of them visit is to check and see if they'll be getting a life insurance check soon.

My nieces and nephews all want to visit when I spend the winters in nice toasty climates. And I only like a few of them.

TheWinWarblist said...

Smoltz can suck it until he chokes and gags tears.

JM said...

Hoss, I was thinking similar thoughts when I heard Sour Grapes make that assinine statement. What a smug, hateful bastard.

TheWinWarblist said...

Smoltz can suck it until he chokes and gags tears until snot and mucus pour out of his mouth.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Schmuckz still thinks he played on the best team of all time. He is wrong by about 10 Yankee squads. And he still resents 1996.

I hope he drowns in his own vomit tonight at the hotel.

JM said...

The vomit line made me laugh out loud. Not lol, laugh out loud.

13bit said...

Speaking of 1966, that's the year when John Smoltz was conceived. Too bad his father didn't jack off in the toilet bowl instead, but the acid he was on must have told him to procreate. Life is a bitch.

"Ottavino fills me with dread." - Is that not a line straight out of the bard of Avon? Sounds like him to me.

Platoni said...

Horace, that's poetry. It's what they'd say at the start of an episode of Ken Burns's "Baseball"

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Must have been the brown acid.

JM said...

The next freakish Twins pitcher is the twitchy meth addict from Bumfuck Holler.

TheWinWarblist said...

Does anyone remember how Smoltz whined after Game 3 of the 1999 Series? "We can't beat them. If we couldn't beat them tonight, we just can't beat them." I didn't dream that, did I?

JM said...

And his knee pops out of his socket. What a freakshow.

JM said...

Winnie, I hope you never dream of Smoltz. That would be cruel and unusual punishment for anyone.

13bit said...

Rufus, that made me laugh out loud.

Winnie, Smoltz is the way he is because his daddy's DNA got all rearranged from the LSD.

Boner must be giving Nutsack a good hand job right now.

Okay, I'd better finish my homework. Going to my fifth grade class on Monday.

BernBabyBern said...

I was in Atlanta for Game 5 of the 96 Serues, the 1-0 Pettitte-Smoltz game. Such a great game.

JM said...

Rocco has to change pitchers because vdown by seven with two outs in the bottom but of the eighth.

JM said...

Bern, I'm green.

JM said...

Either I'm bad at texting or my thumb feels the martinis tonight.

TheWinWarblist said...

The Yankees were definitely taking a piss on Minnesota by letting Tyler Lyons pitch.

TheWinWarblist said...

I had tickets for game 5 of the 1999 WS. šŸ¤·

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh my, the Yankees are just mocking the Twins! They put Lasagna in!

JM said...

Oh, that's who that is. That is mockery of a high order.

JM said...

This is the last thing you want in a blowout win--a lingering ninth that creates hope.

JM said...

We need a new pitcher.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

It'll give more embarrassment than hope.

JM said...

Finally. And Sano looked like a clueless fat ass striking out.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Another BIG win.

TheWinWarblist said...

Ahh-AHAHAH-DidiDidiDidi-AAAAAAAA-AaaaĆ aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Thhhuuuhuhuhuhuhjuhuhuh Yankees WIN!!!!!

JM said...

Get home safely, Winnie.

I'll be 64 in three hours and 15 minutes. Please, no gifts. Unless you can fix the Giants game so they win.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Waiter! Waiter, can you please take this Lasagna back? It’s rotten.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

The train to Groovy Uvie absolutely sucks. It is not unusual to be bused for part of the route. They removed the lines between Rutland (Rutville to me) and Burlington years ago, so the only way is through Hartford, Brattleboro, White River, Montpelier on the local -- that is it sucks. 9 hours of pain (cue Dr. Smith).

You can only get to Rutville on the Albany line and need to get the last 80 miles on your own. And you're dropped off in VT's version of an opium den.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, guys.

And for my part, I will say that John Smoltz was a pretty fair country pitcher in his day. He was a great starter AND a great reliever, and completely deserved his place in the Hall of Fame.

Which is why it meant all the more when we beat him.

I believe it was Cecil Fielder who drove in the winning run in that game in 1996. And while I suspect John Smoltz might have struck out Babe Ruth a few times with that split-fingered fastball—THE PITCH THAT EXCEEDETH ALL OTHER PITCHES!—I also think that if, well, he couldn't get out Cecil Fielder when he had to maybe, just maybe, The Babe might've hit a home run or two off him.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


A fine, fine, most satisfying opening to the ALDS.

13bit said...

Don't let this all go to your heads, people.

ranger_lp said...

We survived a Tyler Lyons appearance...

Anonymous said...

2 DOWN, 9 TO GO.

MY TAKE?

STANTON IS GONNA KILL US IN THAT 5 HOLE.

IF HE HAS TO PLAY, (WHICH IS KIND OF RIDICULOUS, BEING HE HASN'T ALL SEASON), THEN AT LEAST BAT HIM 6TH OR 7TH. GLEYBER NEEDS TO BE BEFORE HIM.

HE KEEPS GETTING UP WITH GUYS ALL OVER THE BASES, AND ALMOST LOOKS OVERWHELMED AND OVER MATCHED AT THE PLATE,

THANK GOD HE'S LAYING OFF PITCHES. THE PROBLEM IS HE IS JUST STANDING THERE LETTING PITCH AFTER PITCH GO PAST HIM, AND SOME OF THOSE PITCHES COULD HAVE JUST AS WELL BEEN CALLED STRIKES WITH ANOTHER UMPIRE.

WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER TO PLAY MAYBIN IN LEFT?

STANTON CAN'T FIELD, AND NOW SOMETHING ELSE DETRIMENTAL TO THE TEAM HAS OPENED UP WITH HIM.

HE CAN'T RUN.

2 DAYS IN A ROW HE HAS HIT A LITTLE DRIBBLER THAT SEEMED TO TAKE FOREVER FOR THE 3RD BASEMAN TO FIELD. HE WAS OUT BOTH TIMES.

OTHER THAN STANTON, WE ARE CLICKING.

HE IS LIKE A BAD PENNY THAT KEEPS APPEARING, ESPECIALLY WITH RISP.

P.S.) HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SHOT AGAINST ANY OF THE ASTROS STARTING RIGHT HANDERS. NONE.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Agreed, ALL-CAPS.

Stanton runs to first like he has to change trains to get there. And you know a ball will find him in left, in a key situation.

But Sanchez looks even worse at the plate. I swear, that was the key to today's game. I couldn't believe that Twins busher yelling at the ump. What do you want, you fool? You're the one who hit Sanchez when he had absolutely zero chance to get a hit!

But hey, two wins is two wins!

HoraceClarke66 said...

The Rays look as if they could beat the Astros. If the Astros had to start every play from a sitting position. And played without gloves.