Monday, October 14, 2019

The Pledge

Okay, here's what I think of that loss:



But you know, it was sort of a magnificent loss, otherwise.  A sort of "Band of brothers," all in it together loss.

Except for two people.

I pledge myself,  I pledge the American people, to the following:

—I will never again watch a game in which James Paxton is pitching.  When his name is up in "Probable starters," I will choose that night to watch "The Deuce" reruns.  Or, you know, ANYTHING ELSE AT ALL.

—I will never again watch another Giancarlo Stanton at-bat.  If he comes up to the plate when I'm watching at home, I will go and get a beer.  And if he comes up to the plate when I'm at the Stadium...I will go and get a beer.

I'm serious, though.  I will never again watch either man play.  Not for so much as a pitch.

Look, the Houston Astros are a better team than this year's New York Yankees.  A much, much better team.  The 2019 Houston Astros are probably in the Top 50 of best teams ever to play the game.

But we had them tonight.  We had a great chance to steal this win, and put them behind the eight-ball.

And we blew it.

Sure, we blew it in part because of HAL, and because of Phil Nevin, and because of a lot of pure bad luck.

But we blew it most of all because those two insufferable ninnies, Giancarlo Stanton and James "Five Times Pettitte" Paxton, spit the bit.

Well, that wraps up this year.  Three straight in our park, I think, for your Houston Astros, a truly admirable team.  And you know, chances are they would have won anyway.

But I will not watch the jerks who let this one get away.  Not ever.  I take the pledge:  until James Paxton is on the roster of another ball team, I will not watch him pitch.

Until Giancarlo is on the roster of another ball team, I will not watch him bat.  Not ever.  Under any circumstances.

I am sure they are now quaking amidst their giant mounds of money.






10 comments:

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

I stand with you, Hoss (or sit on the bar stool next to you). Your choice of substitute entertainment is excellent. While James Franco’s twin-brother gimmick on “The Deuce” (sadly in its last season; they could have spent more time in the 1970s instead of the jump to 1986) is increasingly annoying, Maggie Gyllenhaal is just luscious and intelligent and strong-headed and magnificent as Eileen/“Candy” in an extremely well-written role. Emily Meade as fading porn queen Lori Madison also delivers a surprisingly multilayered performance. The supporting cast is flawless.

Did I mention that Maggie Gyllenhaal is luscious?

13bit said...

EE, Gardy, ICS - dog shit

Where was Romine?

I soured on Torre at the end, But he always talked about how pivotal game two was in a series. He was right. We are done.

13bit said...

Also, we need to discuss Happ, Brian...

13bit said...

Our worst pitching acquisitions, decisions and philosophy encapsulated in one critical game - Pax and Happ take a crap. Fuck you, Brian and Hal, fuck you forever.

ranger_lp said...

@13bit...yes we need to discuss Happless...

#FYL #LarryManBoobs

ranger_lp said...

Someone suggested that Paxton was tipping his pitches.

#FYL

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

13-bit, I really expected to se Romine on the mound again had the game gone on for another inning or two.

Yeah - fuck Hal and Brian, but I think you have say FUCK YOU BOONE, too. Who do you think made that tilted merry-go-round of pitchers speed up and slide off it's track last night?

13bit said...

Completely agree, AOBF

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuck you Cashman.

Fuck you Hal.

So endeth the JuJu.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I went to bed after the Yankees didn't score in the top of the ninth. Boy am I glad I did.

I don't blame the pitchers. I blame the batters. The whole point was to get rid of VerKlempt and *then* they could score some runs. They didn't. Too bad Reggie wasn't in the dugout to tell them to get their fucking asses in gear.

Paxton was not good.
Eddie is picking the wrong fucking time to go into a slump (must be getting tips from Arod).
Ottovino is lost. Time to pull a Mike Andrews with him.