Yanksclusive: DEPOSITION OF REDSOCK FAN WHO IS SUING YANKS

Aug. 1, 2008, 2:12 p.m.
Location undisclosed, for security reasons

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: OK, he can't get out. Everything is working.

IIH: Splendid. Thank you, Abraham. You may go.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Yes sir.

IIH: Let the record show that our guest today has come here willingly. He purports to be a Redsock rooter who was abused by Yankee fans last summer. If true, we view this a heinous act, which must not go unpunished. Sir, please state for us the nature of your charges.

A: Dude, man, this is, like, woah. I was talking to a big guy and, like, woah, how did I get here?

IIH: Please state the nature of your charges.

A: State the what? Yo, man, you’re a hoot. You want me to state the nature? What's this collar on my neck? It's like, tight and-YOWWWWWW! What the fuck! You shocked me! This collar, it’s got some electric thing in it and–YAHHHHHHHHHHG!

IIH: Please state the nature of your charges.

A: HEY, MAN, LIKE, DON'T PRESS THAT THING AGAIN! THAT REALLY HURTS!

IIH: Interesting.

A: YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG!

IIH: Please state the nature of your charges.

A: I... OK, OK! Criminey.... I was... I was at the game, and people was yelling, and I was yelling, and some guys beat me up, and—YAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW! Come on, man. DON’T PRESS THE BUTTON! Please? OK? What do you want? You want money? I'll give you money. That's why I'm suing the-YEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHG!

IIH: We don't want your money. This is a deposition. We want to ask you questions about things, such as Jacoby Ellsbury.

A: YEEOOOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAAH!

IIH: I didn't press the button.

A: I know. It just hurts to hear that name.

IIH: A question.

A: OK! Sure! Whatever! Don't touch the button! Or mention J-Ja-Ja-Ja....

IIH: You have a three game lead in the loss column.

A: That’s… like... uh-huh….?

IIH: Is it safe?

A: I dunno. I can't say. It's not my-YEAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGH!

IIH: Is it safe?

A: Dude, I don't know. I don't-YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG!

IIH: Is... it... safe?

A: Oh... man... I... YAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOO...

[Witness declined further questions. End of tape.]