Saturday, April 11, 2009

Jackbooted thugs of censorship shut down blog giveaway to needy fans


(Special to IT IS HIGH by correspondent Glen Beckett)

Some sheepskinned law-school poodle claiming to represent "MLB Advanced Media" showed off its fancy flea collar Friday by shutting down a free-ticket promotion at one of our brothers of the Yankiverse.

The copyright corps also demanded that the New Stadium Insider remove an inaugueral season blog blurb. In the face of gunfire and legal rulings, the truth-tellers of cyberspace caved.

Face it, folks. It's only a matter of time before these license letchers go after everybody. First, they come after the Jews. Then they come after the Mormons. Then they come after the Yankee bloggers. And then they come after you and me. They are the Wall Street fatcats, the AIG hedge-fund traitors, the socialists of baseball.

Yes, socialists. I have a list here at IIHIIFIIc, a secret list, of 17 clubs that are, in fact, socialists. Worst of all, they are incredibly rich socialists, the worst kind. And you know what they do with their millions of dollars, which they stole from you and me? They hassle blogs.

The poor blog in question was going to hold a contest and give a couple free Yankee tickets to the needy. That's a big no-no, without the "express written consent of the Yankees."
Where have we heard that line before, friends?

I love my team. I love them. But I hate you jizzbag, batsnot skunks who try to wring out every cent -- every measily postage stamp -- from us, the working fanbase. This is what happens when the President of the United States hates his people. It's what happens when dictators take control of baseball and use lawyers to crackdown on free speech.

There are fundamental laws of God that compel us to fight the monster that is MLB Advanced Media. We surround them. We will defeat them. We will stop them.

THINK THE UNTHINKABLE! THINK REVOLUTION! NOW! GET THE SLEDGEHAMMERS! GET THE TORCHES! SURROUND THE STADIUM! LET'S KNOCK IT TO THE GROUND! YOU HEAR ME? TO THE GROUND!
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Of course, under no circumstances am I condoning violence.

That's the last thing I would do. We merely have to band together and fight the monster, the greed, the socialists. Today. Through love. That's all for now. I think I wet myself.

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