Wednesday, November 4, 2009

10 Reasons Why We Will Win Tonight

1. Pedro Martinez is pitching on only four days rest.

2. They still haven't met our secret weapon, Chad Gaudin.

3. Their closer is Chase Utley.

4. Their bridge to the closer is Chan Ho Park.

5. Joe Buck can't stand two more nights with McCarver.

6. Multi-faceted Ramiro Pena expands Joe's options to manage.

7. Humankind has run out of old SNL personalities (Carvey, Spade, Chase, Hammond, et al) for commercials.

8. Shane Victorino's finger has the size and color of a Matt Stairs' turd.

9. No Yankee loss can end; Johnny Damon will simply foul off pitches forever.

10. Mariano prepped for six-inning save.


Bostowned said...

You couldnt be more correct.

OpusOne said...

I once, in person, watched Chan Ho Park give up 11 runs in a single inning.

That was 10 years ago.

Since then, there was a 6-year stretch of his career where the LOWEST ERA he posted was 5.46.

How this turd is still pulling a mlb salary was once the greatest mystery in the universe to me. Now, that distinction goes to the fact that apparently, Charlie Manuel trusts this humanoid more than any other to be the first out of the bullpen. In the World Series.

Probably because he now has the greatest beard any Korean has ever grown.

Yankee Fan in Philadelphia said...

Let's not forget all the overpaid bus drivers are on strike in Philadelphia cause they want more money. Those bums really want the Phillies to win so the city will be forced to give them what they want. Let's win it tonight so those horrible bus drivers can rot and wish they took an 11% increase when they had the chance. And by horrible bus drivers, I mean horrible drivers on the road and horrible people in general.

Geofredo said...

Let's win for the busdrivers... oh wait to screw those dirty nasy bus drivers and the people that wait for the bus in the bitter winter cold... may the bus rot!

Virginia said...

Reason 11: Neither team wants to play in rain again on Thursday.

AliChronic said...

reason 12: jesus hates pedro martinez.
reason 13: there is a considerable chance that matt stairs' cheesesteak-encrusted heart will be thrust into cardiac arrest.