1. Pedro Martinez is pitching on only four days rest.
2. They still haven't met our secret weapon, Chad Gaudin.
3. Their closer is Chase Utley.
4. Their bridge to the closer is Chan Ho Park.
5. Joe Buck can't stand two more nights with McCarver.
6. Multi-faceted Ramiro Pena expands Joe's options to manage.
7. Humankind has run out of old SNL personalities (Carvey, Spade, Chase, Hammond, et al) for commercials.
8. Shane Victorino's finger has the size and color of a Matt Stairs' turd.
9. No Yankee loss can end; Johnny Damon will simply foul off pitches forever.
10. Mariano prepped for six-inning save.