A move four days ago I'm still trying to digest

"HENSLEY MEULENS NAMED GIANTS HITTING COACH"

At first, I figured the NY Giants, who aren't hitting lately, beyond the bottle.

Then it hit me: "Bam Bam" Meulens - the cornfed, multi-lingual manchild who was supposed to make us forget Bye Bye Balboni -- is now a coach. And who knows? Maybe he'll be a great coach.

Look at Dave Eilland, formerly the pitching Shelley Duncan of Columbus.

Why ponder this?

Because we love Ron Guidry, but went the entirity of his time as pitching coach with nothing from Dave Eillands on our staff. Granted, Gator didn't have a C.C. and A.J -- but we pissed boatloads of coin onto those bullpens, and were always up to eyeballs in Proctors and Sturtezes. I wonder...

Don Mattingly? Love him forever. Did he ever straighten out A-Rod for an October? Was Giambi his fault? Hell no. Should Kevin Long get the credit this year? Who knows?

Soon, (geologically speaking), Mariano will punt. Every instinct in our Cialis-ringed brainpans says he'll be a great pitching coach. Or will he?

And then we have Mr. Jeter. Future Yankee manager, right?

I say... this is why we need a YES Network II.

Give the stars a life. Paul O'Neill couldn't coach. But he can host a show.

Once these guys retire: Reality TV!

C.C. can host a cooking show. Jeet can judge hotties on Yankee Project Runway. Swisher can be wise-cracking late night host. Andy gets Sunday morning 6 a.m. slot. Johnny Damon -- Mythbuster. Hideki Matsui gets the porn 2-5 a.m. slot.

Hitting coach? Where Cody Ransom?