2. Layoffs reduce playing roster to 23.
3. "Now batting, the thirdbaseman, Fred Wilpon..."
4. Starting outfield bought via Groupon.
5. Scoreboard turned off while Mets bat.
6. Major campaign: "This year, for every home run hit by a Met, the American Cancer Society will donate $100 to the Mets."
7. Team announces $20 limit on holiday gift-giving.
8. Team's phone, Internet and cable TV service bundled for $69.95 per month on America Online.
9. Grow pot in right field.
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New Slogan: All it takes is a dollar and a dream to become a part owner of the New York Debts.
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