Monday, March 2, 2015

It's Spring. Duck And Cover.

There are a lot of potentially awful things about the 2015 Bronx Bummers. But the really awful thing about this team is that, when the stars align, they could rattle off a fairly serious winning streak (not a lot of wins in a row, mind you, but a lot compared to the losses during the same stretch). As has been noted a number of times on IIH, this is hell for Yankee fans, because we can't help but hope. (That should be a t-shirt sold outside the stadium: 'The 2015 New York Yankees. We can't help but hope.') 

Of course, all hope will be thrown with great force against the turnbuckle of the AL East wrestling ring, resulting in brain damage and tragedy for any fan daring to think positively at any point about this team.

Personally, I'm especially entertained by extremes. If a team wins 130 games or loses 130, at least something interesting and relatively important happened; something that was worth the time and effort to follow for a ridiculous six months. This promises to be the least entertaining team in some time by that yardstick, hovering somewhere a little over .500 on average.

Lightning isn't going to strike on the positive side, at least not for more than a month or two. More likely, nearly every starting pitcher will go down for various weeks on end, some for the remainder of the season, as will pieces of the lineup. If everything goes just right, everything will go horribly wrong, and no Fix-a-Flat that Cashman brings in will help.

Since that's the only extremity possible, that's what I'll be watching for. Complete and total disaster may force these schmendricks to play a lot of young guys, for good or ill. And it may finally teach them something about horrendously stupid signings, long-term and otherwise.

I doubt it, but a guy can hope.


MJ said...

That graphic is perfect for the's pure gold.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I'm really dreading this season, for exactly these reasons,,,,,,. and I agree with MJ, perfect graphic my friend, LOL!!!!!!!!!!

joe de pastry said...

I'm also expecting an extremely boring season with a record of something like 80-81, with one rainout not made up because nobody cares. I'll spend the next 7 months rooting against the Red Sox and Fuck Showalter.