Wednesday, August 23, 2017

When good fans go mad (Part 2)

From I'm Bill White, also an occasional poster...

I live in the Southeast and the eclipse was interesting. I bought a pair of 3D glasses for the timeless Disney theme park production, Honey, I Shrunk The Audience. They arrived in decent condition, their smell a rumor of Tio Sancho microwaveable nachos and well-rolled Dungeons and Dragons dice. I tried to secure Captain EO 3D glasses but fuck you to the guy who outbid me on eBay. I took a Viagra for the first time, a guy at the gas station told me, "dude, you won't regret it. A day like today deserves your full attention." I'm using Google voice to transcribe this because I cant see and I'm also having trouble hearing. I don't know if it's from the eclipse defeating my specs, or a side effect of the Viagra, but the good news is that I've had a raging boner for about 4 hours and 13 minutes, which is how I went through most of junior high school. I'm wandering around my cul de sac in a pair of sweatpants (work from home), sightless and yelling for help because I can't hear anything. I keep banging into mailboxes and trash cans. What time is the game tonight? Does anyone else want nachos?

10 comments:

Leinstery said...

The guy who killed Ghaddafi photo will always make me laugh. Everything about it is perfect: the golden gun, the peace signs being thrown up over the guy who they just shot in the head, the boy scout on the right, a Michelangelo-esque pose from our guy in the Yankee hat.

Anonymous said...

THE YANKEE HAT AND THE GOLDEN GUN.

SOUNDS LIKE A JAMES BOND MOVIE.

Leinstery said...

I like the concept ANONYMOUS, but it's too close to "The Man with the Golden Gun"

Perhaps "From the Binders with Love" or "OctoRandyLevine"

13bit said...

The horror.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Let's get back to IBW's post: It's pretty darned funny on many levels:

    - It's always good to seek medical advice from "a guy at the gas station"

    - Speaking of seeking medical advice, please don't think we didn't notice the length
    of time you had "a raging boner"

    - The image of a man "wandering around [a] cul de sac in a pair of sweatpants (work
    from home), sightless and yelling for help" is priceless.

Very, very well done.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"OctoRandyLevine"

Shouldn't it be OctoIrabu?

Friend of Local Bargain Jerk said...

Loved the post - thank you, laughed out loud.

John M said...

Can we save this and post after the next eclipse?

Think it over. We have time.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

ABSOLUTE PURE PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Bill White said...

Thank you all. It made for a pretty eventful little Monday around here.