Tuesday, May 28, 2019

The Pitcher, Yes

So the dreaded idea of "the opener" advances, now promulgated not just by the Tampa Bay Tuckwilligers but by our own mighty Yankees.

Hurrah.

One argument for this is, of course, that it will save wear and tear on the pitchers.  Probably so—though full-time relievers have a dicey track record on endurance, too, their effectiveness often oscillating from year to year.

Another is that pitchers tend to do less well against a lineup the third time around.  Sure.  There are only so many pitches, and only so many ways of throwing them.

But so what?

I'm sure you could also prove that most marathoners run slower times on the last third of their races.  Maybe we should just make it 15 miles.  I'm sure the marathoners would "improve."

And boy, those decathlon guys sure look tired at the end of their event.  What say we cut it down to seven events?  They'll probably "improve."

An athletic challenge is an athletic challenge. To reduce that challenge is not to "improve" anything.

And whose arms are we saving, and for what?

The Knights of the Press Box like to point out that it helps teams like Tampa Bay to compete with their lower payrolls.  Is this our goal?  To increase the profit margins of undercapitalized hustlers in other cities?

Yeah, I know that will get ME out to the ballpark.

If every pitcher is going to throw 100-120 innings a year, then pitchers will be completely interchangeable.  Who will care if they get hurt or not?  How will we even know who the best pitchers are?

Really, why not replace them all with a pitching machine, or maybe someone's dad, or have everybody hit off a tee?  That will really save those old white greedheads we call major-league owners some moola.

It's the same logic with "improving" performance.

Guys get hurt throwing the baseball?  They also get hurt running into fences.  Let's get rid of them.  They get hurt BY thrown baseballs.  Let's ban inside pitching.  Throw a close pitch, and it's an automatic ejection.

They get hurt running the base paths.  Let's cut down the distance between those bags to 60 feet.  Hey, it's what they do in softball.

The pitcher is the hero of the ballfield.  You diminish him at your peril.

Picture football with a different quarterback on every set of downs.  Picture hockey where everybody is required to play goalie for five minutes (actually, that could be fun).  Picture basketball as a 48-minute layup contest.

The pitcher is the guy we all fantasized about when we started playing the game.  He's the wraith-like figure out there in the distance, who we want to take deep.  Or we are him, arm weary, bottom of the ninth inning, last game of the World Series with everything on the line.

The pitcher is indomitable success—and tragic failure.

It's the Polo Grounds rising as one as Matty walks down from the clubhouse and begins his walk to the mound in his distinctive white duster.  It's Pedro getting the same reception—with a few more catcalls—when he walked out to the pen one early summer evening I recall in Yankee Stadium, with storm clouds rolling in overhead.

It's The Great One striding in to "Enter Sandman."  It's Bob Gibson looking like death his own self out on the mound, Juan Marichal kicking his foot to the sky, Sandy Koufax dealing bullets.

It's old Pete Alexander, gassed in the war, telling Rogers Hornsby yes I am drunk but I can get this guy.  It's Dazzy Vance with his white tee-shirt sleeve flapping, the ball coming out of the white laundry drying on the rooftops of Flatbush.

The pitcher is the Great Rivera beaten by a wet field and a dumb play and a juicing fraud in Arizona, beaten like a knight pulled from his horse and butchered by peasants, but still walking off the mound with his quiet, impenetrable dignity.  It's Mathewson beaten by his catcher letting a pop foul drop and being taunted by a literal Klansman, but still holding his head up.  It's Walter Johnson losing his last big game while his fielders slopped around behind him in the rain and the mud.

The pitcher is Satchel Paige on tour, telling all his fielders to sit down behind him, because he's going to strike out the side.  The pitcher is Jack Morris hanging in to shut out the Cards in ten, and Bill Bevens losing everything, World Series no-hitter, shot at immortality, the lead, on the very last pitch of the game.

You want to get rid of the pitcher?  Go ahead.  I'd just as soon play Strat-O-Matic.











41 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

Just put the game on. Why? Why? $ in the top on the first? Why? It's like Cashman wants us to suffer.





Fucker.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"Strat-O-Matic"?

I'd rather play APBA.

These "innovations" have one good side effect -- tickets are easier to get for games. Then again, that's because they're driving fans away with these "exciting" "innovations".

JM said...

Everything goes in cycles, Obi-Wan. This will catch up to pitching at some point. And guys will learn to throw more than screamers, and reveal new parts of their arsenal the second and maybe even the third time through the order. You simply do not need to throw hard to fool hitters, although it's nice to wheel out the heat when the money's on the line. It actually works better if it's not so constant.

JM said...

Padres are stalling by switching pitchers over and over, hoping the rain will get so heavy they'll call the game and SD wins. Didn't work so far. The General with another clutch hit.

HoraceClarke66 said...

JOE HARVEY???

Go for the win, dammit!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And JM, I hope you are right!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

damn!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Well, all right. They got out of it. Clutch.

But boy, Boone second-guessed himself about three times in that inning.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Now he's warming up Chapman. O-kay.

Incidentally, Kendrys Morales' sell-by date has come and gone. This is a reversion to regular Coops behavior: I bought this shiny new toy, so now I have to use it!

No.

Anonymous said...

HC66 -- among the many idiocies you perpetrate nearly every day on this blog, this is a standout, remarkable for its daft sophistry and cluelessness on nearly every level. Marathon racing is an individual sport; baseball is a team sport. DUH. Pitching has changed to a mainly power game that takes a much greater toll on the thrower's arm than it did twenty or more years ago. You are not making competition EASIER by parceling out innings more equitably, as you would be by shortening the distance of a race or removing outfield fences--you are making the team effort MORE EFFECTIVE by enhancing the overall performance of your pitching corps.

There's dumb, there's dumber, and there's dumbest. HC66 has long since won the Cy Young in three categories, posting logorrheic non sequiturs without surcease or mercy. Surely even he now can see the price paid by tossing too hard for too long, as this superannuated dolt does with scarcel a day's rest.

Anonymous said...

"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

Anonymous said...

A couple of more points: using openers and limitng starters' innings is NOT comparable to changing the rules of a sport--e.g., shortening the distance of a race or removing fences, etc. It is making strategically effective choices WITHIN existing rules to maximize the likelihood of succeeding--which is what anyone would do who WANTS TO WIN.

And it is not the "Knights of the Keyboard" who have pushed and embraced these kinds of innovations--quite the opposite. These kinds of insights were generated first in a marginal community of sabremetricians that started out as a party of one--Bill James--and eventually made its way to other authors and thinkers like Peter Palmer and John Thorn in the eighties and Nate Silver and his colleagues at Baseball Prospectus in the nineties and oughts. The mainstream press treated their work first with complete contempt, ignoring it entirely; and when that was no longer possible, they heaped endless ridicule on it. Only after sabremetrics began to gain purchase in baseball front offices in the early nineties did the daily beat writers begin to recognize its potential. So Dunderhead 66 gets this exactly wrong as well. I mean--the guy is hopelessly uninformed and just . . . dumb.

Anal-a-mouse said...

"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

Anonymous said...

Hey Warplist and Psycho Anus and HC66 the Elder Statesman of Dumb: Shut up, ya' demented, tormented jerks with your Internet addiction and your endless sock-puppet desperation. Get some serious professional help.

Anonymous said...

What kind of masochistic psychotic adopts a nickname in which he calls himself as "anal"? Psycho Anus, of course, King of the Assholes. Notice that he has NOTHING to say on the substance of the debate on openers and limiting starters' innings--because he really has no interest in baseball, and his only purpose out here is to ply his various roiling psychoses. Nice job, duque, letting these assorted dunces and misfits and undermedicated freaks have the run of your blog!

Anonymous said...

Hey Psycho Anus--can you quote the substance of one passage from Thorn and Palmer's "The Hidden Game of Baseball"? Didn't think so. Any hobby other than eating your own shit for breakfast is bound to seem boring to you.

Now I'm going to keep my promise--any time you rear your foul derriere on this blog, I'm going to post at least three replies, as a deterrent. So instead of limiting my appearances here, your snarling dogshit posts will only multiply them. Think it over, genius.

Anonymous said...

Sick, stupid, delusional and obsessed. You’re leaving quite the body of evidence here for us to collect, stat baby bitch. It will make for a good book.

Anonymous said...

I'm SO SCARED, Psycho Anus. Now tell us--since this is a baseball blog, why do you have nothing to say about baseball? Could it be because you're a diseased, petty nonentity who lacks the basic literacy in the sport to make a coherent comment about anything but your sputtering hatreds? "Stat baby"--the formulaic babble of a dull, tormented soul. I wrote tow long posts about baseball strategy and didn't mention a "stat"--this only demonstrates how hopelessly CLUELESS and STUPID you are. What other little formulas and cliches have you stocked up on, Psycho Anus? No thoughts? Nothing but stupid Internet flaming on the mental level of a fourth grader? I mean what's your IQ--about 40? So dumb that you label yourself "anal"? At least you're honest--but JUST SO STUPID. LOL!

Anonymous said...

C'mon--one piece of commentary on Thorn and Palmer, staggeringly trite and stupid Psycho Anus. Show us what you've got other than a diseased obsession with me. Nothing, I'm betting. I love making you twitch every time I post like a frog in a biology lab. Now twitch again, froggy.

Anonymous said...

Let's be honest--HC66's posts are an embarrassment. Everyone here knows it. It's just the herd mentality of a fourth-rate frat house of commenters that prevents anyone else from acknowledging the obvious.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I never played APBA, Rufus. Is it better? I did like Strat-O as a kid. And there was some other game that had charts for what they determined were the all-time best teams for each franchise.

Something to be written about the allure of baseball card games. Did you know that Kerouac invented one to entertain himself during a hospital stay?

And you may be right about how these "innovations" are at least shrinking the size of the crowds and making tickets easier to get. It would be nice to be able to afford to see a little live baseball again. It was like this piece in the Times today about how people are FINALLY moving out of the most expensive metropolitan areas because they just can't afford to live there.

Thank goodness. Maybe they'll start renting out storefronts again in my neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

HC66--something to be written about the allure of baseball card games? There is already a vast literature of books and articles on this subject that has also somehow escaped your attention, along with nearly every work on sabremetrics and just basic logic, judging by your posts.

Of course, there is zero evidence that the introduction of "starters" or the limitation of starting-pitching innings has had any impact on baseball attendance, which was declining long before the onset of these innovations, and for a host of unrelated reasons that are well documented, unlike HC66's flatulent conjectures.

Just imagine how attendance will soar under the aegis of HC66's strategic brilliance of running pitchers out there until they drop like abused race horses, with every hurler on every team the IL for entire seasons at a time with Tommy John surgery while the pitching is done by the groundskeepers.

QUEL IDIOT!

Unknown said...

Nice post.

13bit said...

We need either a registration system or moderators, like any other blog. The Internet is a sewer.

JM said...

And it smells.

JM said...

Too many pitchers...and position players...are often injured these days. Seems like the collective brilliance of the day hasn't had a positive effect on that score. It's enough to make you think that a certain level of injury is and always has been just part of the game. The use of new methods hasn't made that better, and I suppose you could argue it's made the injury level worse. At some point, and it may be here, managements may notice that all of the more extreme approaches don't work any better than the old ones. So you get the return of contact hitting and what rallies are more often made if. The pendulum swings, then reverses, with some modifications included that have proved themselves. And so it goes.

JM said...

Made of, not if.

Anonymous said...

Keep writing, asshole. Look for yourself next year in Psychology Today.

Anal-a-mouse said...

"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement. But you've already proven that you have no sense of humor. Thus, the reason you don't understand this site. Keep trying though -- eventually an infinite amount of monkeys randomly typing on typewriters will come up with War and Peace. I'd put your odds at understanding below that of tunneling for a large atomic mass object, say a piece of ham.

HoraceClarke66 said...

JM, I hope you're right...but mostly in the sense that I hope climate change IS all a gigantic hoax, or that that scene in "Sleeper" is a reality: "What, no fatty foods? No rich desserts?"

I don't have much faith in self-correcting trends when it comes to human behavior—but maybe I'm wrong!

Anonymous said...

Hey Psycho Anus--get a life outside of obsessing about me. How about taking an interest in baseball, Anus? HC66's dribblings are not humor pieces. Neither are your spews of psychopathic vomit. You're stupid. And sick. And afflicted with the obsessional neurosis typical of Internet losers. Get help.

Anonymous said...

JM--you know what smells? Your evidence-free dribblings on shit that you have never studied and really know nothing about. Your previous post is 100 percent fact- and evidence-free. Your posts are predictable re-hashing of old-fogie "wisdom" that has been dispelled for the past forty years. No need to belabor your mediocrity of mind and temperament any further. It's now established beyond any doubt. Congratulations.

Anal-a-mouse said...

"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement. But you've already proven that you have no sense of humor. Thus, the reason you don't understand this site. Keep trying though -- eventually an infinite amount of monkeys randomly typing on typewriters will come up with War and Peace. I'd put your odds at understanding below that of tunneling for a large atomic mass object, say a piece of ham.

Anonymous said...

Hey Psycho Anus--do you realize that you're copying and pasting your old posts now? I realize how hard it might be to come up with an actual new thought or idea, or a post that isn't about plying your diseased obsession with me, but try anyway.

And Psychology Today--that's hilarious. What's your idea of an authoritative psychologist? Dr. Phil? Robert Irvine? You're right after all--this is a humor blog, but the humor in your case in unintentional--the compulsive stupidity of a slavering illiterate.

And now you're my little blog bitch. You post when I tell you to post. Now post, my little bitch.

Anal-a-mouse said...

"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement. But you've already proven that you have no sense of humor. Thus, the reason you don't understand this site. Keep trying though -- eventually an infinite amount of monkeys randomly typing on typewriters will come up with War and Peace. I'd put your odds at understanding below that of tunneling for a large atomic mass object, say a piece of ham.

Psycho Anus said...

Hey Psycho Anus--let me spare you the work. I'll copy and paste your dumbass flame for you. And the piece of ham--did you think of that by yourself? Just brilliant.

Seriously--are you institutionalized, or are you out in the real world somewhere? And "puckered"--no, you copied that. Sorry

Anal-a-mouse said...
"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement. But you've already proven that you have no sense of humor. Thus, the reason you don't understand this site. Keep trying though -- eventually an infinite amount of monkeys randomly typing on typewriters will come up with War and Peace. I'd put your odds at understanding below that of tunneling for a large atomic mass object, say a piece of ham.

Anonymous said...

Once more, for good luck, Psycho Anus!

Anonymous said...

Psycho Anus said...
Hey Psycho Anus--let me spare you the work. I'll copy and paste your dumbass flame for you. And the piece of ham--did you think of that by yourself? Just brilliant.

Seriously--are you institutionalized, or are you out in the real world somewhere? And "puckered"--no, you copied that. Sorry

Anal-a-mouse said...
"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement. But you've already proven that you have no sense of humor. Thus, the reason you don't understand this site. Keep trying though -- eventually an infinite amount of monkeys randomly typing on typewriters will come up with War and Peace. I'd put your odds at understanding below that of tunneling for a large atomic mass object, say a piece of ham.

Anonymous said...

Once more, with FEELING:

Psycho Anus said...
Hey Psycho Anus--let me spare you the work. I'll copy and paste your dumbass flame for you. And the piece of ham--did you think of that by yourself? Just brilliant.

Seriously--are you institutionalized, or are you out in the real world somewhere? And "puckered"--no, you copied that. Sorry

Anal-a-mouse said...
"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Yes, that is you, puckered.

BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement. But you've already proven that you have no sense of humor. Thus, the reason you don't understand this site. Keep trying though -- eventually an infinite amount of monkeys randomly typing on typewriters will come up with War and Peace. I'd put your odds at understanding below that of tunneling for a large atomic mass object, say a piece of ham.

Anonymous said...

Psycho Anus said, "BTW, my screen name is parody of what you do in mommy's basement." Ya' know, Psycho Anus, if you have to explain it, I guess it's not funny. But nice try!

John Keck said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.