Saturday, May 18, 2019

What's going on? The Master had no Kendrys Morales homer holler

Kendrys Morales hit his 213th MLB home run last night, and John Sterling was inexplicably unprepared.

No homer holler.

How can this be? Is The Master finally showing his age. It was thing to be caught napping for Thairo Estrada, a rookie shortstop whose power was said to be imaginary, at best. But Morales? How could Sterling have not bothered to come up with a call?

The wacko conspiracy theorists at Reddit today have come up with alternative calls, and I'm taking the liberty of stealing the best ones. You can find them all here.   

My faves:

Morales shows off his phallus!

Morales has Yankee fans seeing aurora borealis!

(Singing) When the ball's in the sky like a big pizza pie that's Morales! 

Another blast by Kendrys, his power knows no boundaries!

Morales hits one towards Dallas!

14 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Kendrys ends this.

JM said...

How about, "He's not quite washed up yet!"

That would be good.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hilarious, JM! Or, "Kendrys—good to the last drop!"

HoraceClarke66 said...

But really, The Master being a show tune fan, the call has got to refer to "Nothing," the song about the character Morales in "Chorus Line":

"Way to try, Mor-al-es! Hit Mor-al-es, all alone!"

All right, all right, so it needs work...

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Uh, Horace... his call was nothing, so it clearly did refer to Morales in Chorus Line. How much more of nothing could nothing be than nothing?

Anonymous said...

EVERY PROPOSED MORALES CALL WAS GREAT.

I BET THE MASTER SETTLES ON THE LAST ONE -(DALLAS).

THE MASTER IS BEING VERY QUICK AND GEOGRAPHICAL THESE DAYS.

Retired Stratman said...

Valar Morales! Sorry, I’m just a little too excited about Game of Thrones finale tonight.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very true, P.G.T. Beauregard!

TheWinWarblist said...

HI! [waves]

JM said...

Hey, the GOT finale is tomorrow, not today. Or does Stratman have a special "in" that lets him watch early? If so, can you tell us who kills Denaerys? Or does she die of natural causes?

HoraceClarke66 said...

My prediction:

Danaerys, red-faced over having burned up everybody in that miserable pit of scheming nobles and religious fanatics, retreats to the Eastern Land of the Thundering Herds to get her act together.

Sansa is handed Westeros, and in celebration invents the Sansa Salsa.

Jon Snow returns to the land beyond the wall, remembering—like Audrey Hepburn in Paris—that he was happy there once.

Arya moves to Brooklyn, where she changes her name to Kid Twist and starts a little outfit that becomes known as Murder, Inc.

I smell sequel!

JM said...

That seems definite for Jon Snow. I like the Arya idea. I'd watch that.

KD said...

Dragon queen to be killed by her last remaining fire lizard.

Ceeja said...

Given that he pales in comparison to big no 99:

"HERE COMES THE BAILIFF "