Sunday, June 11, 2023

"And now the 3-2. Swung on, a pop foul back here. [Thud] Ow! Ow! Ow! It really hit me, I didn't know it was coming back that far!"

Breaking: Last night, in the ninth, with the game on the line, John Sterling took a foul to the head. Ever the gamer, The Master simply shrugged it off and kept going...

"So, once again, it'll be a 3-2. And the 3-2 is grounded foul."

Here it is. 

Sterling says he won't miss tonight's rubber match with Boston. (The winning team will take possession of the coveted, IT IS HIGH Giambi Golden Thong.) The Master is 84 and recently missed two weeks due to illness. He still owns the record of calling 5,060 consecutive Yankee games, a streak that ended in July 2019. I hope somebody saved the bloody scorecard, which needs to someday go into the Hall of Fame. 

Meanwhile, pssst. The Yankees' best pitcher might turn out to be Domingo German. (If he can keep himself from being suspended.)

In his last five outings, he's only given up 7 total runs, three times pitching at least six innings. He's 30.  This winter, he's eligible for arbitration. He's actually pitching better than in 2019, when he went 18-4, (though his ERA was over 4.00.) If he doesn't hit anybody or get caught with sticky fingers, this could be his year.

Meanwhile, Willie Calhoun bats third - and easily outdoes the slumping Anthony Rizzo. Strange days... 

37 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Given the Master's proclivity for belting out show tunes, you have to call him a "real trouper".

ranger_lp said...

Please don't have him do an MRI on his head...he needs to stay in the lineup...

AboveAverage said...

I can now predict baseball, Suzyn.

That shot to the skull,

that blow to my brain,

that ball off my brow has

left me capable of seeing

everything now.


AboveAverage said...

It was high

It was far

And it

Left me with a scar

Hit me in the booth

Thought I lost a tooth

but now I can

Chat with Babe Ruth

Sing it Suzyn

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Schlitz needs to drill Ted Turner right between the numbers in his first at bat tonight. Let him know that the Master is off limits. Then maybe spray nair (do they still make that stuff) on his beard. Would probably improve his looks.

edb said...

I hope he is okay.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

There are no coincidences. There are no accidents. Happenstance doesn’t happen. The Red Sox declared war on the Yankees by going after a poor, innocent, still-convalescing future resident of the Hebrew Home at Riverdale (it’s like a college campus, except the chicks ain’t so hot).

The rivalry is back.

Fuck the Sox.

The Hammer of God said...

Domingo German does look like the ace of the staff. But they don't score runs for him. German and Schmidt get precious little run support.

The Hammer of God said...

I guess Sterling's reflexes ain't as good as they used to be. His eyes certainly aren't, as we know. Back in the day, he used to be the first to dive under the table when those foul balls got back there.

The Hammer of God said...

Speaking of eyes, DJ LeMahieu should gets his headlights checked. He's swinging like he can't even see the ball.

Remember those days when DJL was the only Yankee batter that the hitting coaches here couldn't corrupt? Well, those days are long gone. It looks like they finally got to him. He used to take the ball the other way most of the time. Now, he looks just like Anthony Volpe: pull happy.

The FOX booth commented on Volpe's troubles. They said his front hip is flyin' open too early.

And you might ask, well, why is Volpe's front hip flyin' open? I think he's pull happy and trying to get a jump on those high fastballs they keep pumping inside on him. I can't believe that the hitting coaches here can't fix it. Easy fix. Move off the damned plate. He's standing too close to the plate. And how about using the whole field? There's no rule that says you have to hit everything to left field. It would do a world of good for Volpe to wait a couple of ticks longer in order to take the ball to right field. You have to be able to make adjustments. Otherwise, you end up like Kevin Maas or Gary Sanchez.

The Hammer of God said...

With Judge out, we're seeing some real funky lineups. They haven't been doing the thing with the best hitter batting #2. They've gone with the "longer" lineup, which I prefer.

But maybe they weren't batting Judge #2 because of any theory about getting an extra at bat. These recent lineups seem to support that. Maybe they were hitting Judge #2 only because he likes hitting #2. (I've heard it said that he liked hitting #2.) Since we know how mechanical Yankee management is, it would make sense that they're married to Judge hitting #2, for no other reason than that he likes hitting #2.

AboveAverage said...

Hammer, Sir. We have no hitting coaches here that can fix Volpe’s swing.

He’s likely doing exactly what they’re instructing him to do.

And we all know what the is - SAY it with me now:

Hit strikes Hard!

Exit Velo’

Exit Velo’

Launch Angle

YEAH!

AboveAverage said...

Typo police:

The=That

My most sincerest apologies

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Exit Velope…. The speed at which you hit into an inning exiting double play. He had one yesterday.

The Hammer of God said...

@ AA, Yep, you're right. He's right on course. They like .180 with power. That's what most everyone here (not named Judge or Rizzo) hits.

You know, I actually saw Josh Donaldson yesterday take an emergency swing to foul one off. Wow! I didn't know he had it in him. Why, he should be whipped, flogged, and flagellated! How dare he take an emergency swing? Where the hell did he learn to do that? What the hell happened to swinging for the fences on every pitch, every swing? Exit velocity and launch angle? Send him back to AAA! He needs to work on his exit velo and launch angle. Yankee coaches want to see moonshots, or nothing at all (strikeouts). All or nothing is our motto! All for nothing and nothing for all! We are The Nine Yankeeteers!

The Hammer of God said...

Masataka Yoshida had a 14 pitch at bat against Wandy Peralta. Finally ended up drawing a walk. Think maybe we could've used that son of a gun in our lineup, hitting #2? Nah, he hits .300. Totally un-Yankeeteers like. Gotta be a strikeout or home run, every at bat. Draw a walk? We usually throw those back. Our hitters refuse to accept walks. Instead, we ask for a new at bat, so we might hit a home run.

Kevin said...

Infuriating

Celerino Sanchez said...

Maybe they book Germán into a YMCA or Monastery for the rest of the year. Keep him away from the womens!

JM said...

AA, I like the poetic approach to the Master's newfound predictive powers.

There is definitely something wrong with DJ. He's not hitting, and he's not hitting for power. He really looks lost up there. This is a .300 hitter--or even a .290 hitter--so far below his typical year that you have to wonder if he's pulling a Knoblauch, without the defensive yips. His career coming to a rapid end for no reason other than a relatively sudden loss of skills.

Sad.

Speaking of .180 with power, I've noticed that the teams we face have a lot of low BA batters, too, and a lot of them don't have the power numbers, either. It's like .250 is the new .300.

BTR999 said...

At nearly 35, we need to consider DJLM is done. Still a reliable glove, but we need O! Can’t afford dead bats now. It’s not only that he’s not hitting, but he looks like the worst hitter on the team, and that’s saying something.

Is Rizzo still hurt? He’s fallen off a cliff since that collision at 1B.

Still waiting for them to pull the trigger on Volpe. Or should we wait another 2 weeks when he is hitting .160?

Doug K. said...

I saw that Peraza didn't play in a double header yesterday. Maybe he's getting a call up.

TheWinWarblist said...

Good morning from sunny Santa Monica! I am brunching with Arnold the Govenator (he stole our waiter) and two Bloody Marys have made the experience magical!!


UNWAVERING POSITIVITY!!

Mildred Lopez said...


Rodon hits Calhoun today during batting practice, Haystacks off to the clubhouse in "obvious pain". Carlos Rodon's contribution to the 2023 Yankees.

MIK said...

I hope Calhoun charged the mound~!!!!!!!!!

Mildred Lopez said...


There's video MIK!

TheWinWarblist said...

Link Mildred??

ranger_lp said...

I found this:

https://twitter.com/BryanHoch/status/1667978770274213889

Lots of Ohs! for the last 24 hours...

Hazel Motes said...

LOL. I was waiting for Hammer to ply his dark obsession with Judge batting second even in Judge's absence. He did not disappoint.

Hazel Motes said...

As for Hammer's simple solution to Volpe's ineptitude at the plate, having him stand farther back would render him even more vulnerable to breaking stuff low and away, where he already has problems. The main issue with Volpe is his long, looping swing. His entire swing needs retooling. As it stands, he will never hit MLB pitching. His offensive numbers in the minors have never been that good either. He was promoted because of one hot streak in spring training, the worst criterion for judging future MLB performance (cf. the parallel case of Cordero). With only a couple of lengths out of the starting gate, Volpe is already looking like a nonstarter . . . while Peraza is wasted at Scranton. But we all know the true ugly subtext of this fatal miscalculation.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Too racist, didn't read.

JM said...

Fucking Turner.

Doug K. said...

Just put up a game thread.

Kevin said...

The woman is a GM, scout, coach, and a parrot!😱

JM said...

I think the ugly subtext is that if Peraza comes up again, they can't send him down. So he has to stick or be traded or cut. So of course, they're leery. Meanwhile, he's playing every day, doing really well, and the stint in Scranton doesn't seem to be getting him down.

Occam's razor.

Hazel Motes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hazel Motes said...

JM -- I have not seen anywhere that Peraza is out of options. Do you have a link to a story that verifies this? Barring that as a factor--and I don't think it is in this case--I am convinced that the front office viewed Volpe as more "marketable" for tacit and sordid reasons that need no further belaboring. I think it's Florial who is out of options, so they're using that as an excuse to recycle every thrice-failed white Aryan outfielder reject that Cashman can dig up from the discard heap before giving Florial a meaningful number of consecutive plate appearances with the big club, which they have never done in all this time--and for the same reasons that apply to their leapfrogging the inept Volpe over the far-more-qualified Peraza.

JM said...

You're correct, it's Florial.

It was a long weekend...