Tuesday, June 27, 2023

It's time to start planning for the August 24th Insurrection

Nothing happened yesterday. Jackie D didn't get booed. Giancarlo didn't strike out. Nobody stubbed a corpuscle. So... 

Friends, Romans, Yankee fans, lend me your beers: 

Coming soon... August Twentyforth, two thousand and twenty three... a date that will live in Yankeinfamy... 

THE "IT IS HIGH MARCH FOR JUSTICE" ON THE KREMLIN, YANKEE STADIUM. 

That day - that incredible, unforgettable day - we, the bottomless and unhorsed truth-telling fans of IIHIIFIIc, shall overthrow the current Yankee regime of dorks and juju gods... and restore the team to greatness! 

To outsiders, this will be the "Mastercard Half-Price Game" against the Washington Nationals, beginning at 1:05 p.m. In fact, it will be the long awaited Double-Secret Second Gathering of the IT IS HIGH NATION, launching the GREAT YANK FAN AWAKENING AND TASTINGS OF FORBIDDEN TRUTH. 

Prior to the game, we shall surround the ballpark, clasp hands and levitate the stadium three feet into the air! Then, with precise movements, we will SHAKE the goddamm foundation, causing subservient lackey fans, doofus hangers-on and buttercup front office cabana dandies to puke their almond-milk and tofu power lunches, as they are physically and spiritually forced to contemplate the truest of true Yankee truths.  

It's time to show the front office - and the juju gods - who is really running this show.

Immediately, upon taking control of this sorry clown car, we shall institute a ban on all Yankee injuries and out-of-body, walk-off losses.  

August twenty-forth, two thousand and twenty three, the most important date in Yankee history. To join this monumental event, and to meet - up close and personal - some of this site's legendary superstar readers, bloggers, lurkers and thinkers, contact: 

motelsign(at)protonmail(dot)com  -- OR -- localbargainjerk(at)gmail(dot)com

I'll be there, wearing my "I MOONED BIG PAPI" t-shirt. 

WHO'S WITH ME? 

31 comments:

AboveAverage said...

Haiku Tuesday:

Season of the Toe

Closely watched it heals real slow

Jackies got to go

el duque said...

Beautiful.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Sooooo looking forward to this> All HAIL The Master> We've got 99 problems but a pitch aint one!

TheWinWarblist said...

I AM WITH YOU, SIR!! I AM!!


Unwavering positivity.

Carl J. Weitz said...

What is the aggregate number of drinks needed to power the aforementioned levitation? Might have to add a few extra for precaution.

The Archangel said...

I'm so sorry That I will miss it.
I can't go back into NY or they may serve that little old warrant on me.
I also developed an allergy to NY.

AboveAverage said...

UNWAVERING

Yankee Daddy Roger said...

"He's on a roll"

---Wormer, speaking of Blutarsky, National Lampoon's Animal House

The Hammer of God said...

It sounds like it's gonna be loads of fun. I'd love to be there, but duty calls. Work before pleasure. If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. Keep working on that levitation, we'll get it done one day!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love the Armies of the Night reference, Duque! Let's do it!

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Hey, Y-D Roger et al --

check out Blatarsky's speech here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFbGv4zQfpM

....it wasn't Wormer muttering in admiration.

Celerino Sanchez said...

They sent a carrier our of Norfolk
And picked the Yankees up for free
They said that Queens could stay
They blew the Bronx away
And sand Manhattan out at sea!

The Archangel said...

For those who enjoy a good chuckle,;
Future Blew Jays HOFer, Alex Manoah debuted in Rookie League ball against the Yankees this afternoon..

2.2 IP, 10 H, 11ER, 2HR, 37.13 ERA.
NO TYPOs.

IKF has offered to coach him.

Boonie is quoted as saying, "He only gave up 2 HRs, so he is keeping the ball in the park. He was juuuust missing his spots.He had lots of spin on his 3 Ks."

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Carl,

Whatever the number is, I believe we'll have it covered.


...before we arrive at the park.

Can't wait to see all you huckleberries again!

Unwavering negativity on Yankees' management.
Unwavering positivity on this huckleberry site with only the brightest Yankee evaluators around. Or the drunkest. Or both.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Re: Manoah. From NJ.com

“Things got so bad that Manoah chased a Jeremy Peña bunt down the third-base line, fell to one knee, and attempted to blow the ball foul. That’s not allowed, so it immediately was ruled a hit.”

That can’t possibly be true. I don’t know the journalists from the columnists and sarcasm from truth… so… seriously? Like, in a cartoon?

ranger_lp said...

Jackie D. in starting lineup…

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Talking head on MLB network -- the yankees aren't good at stringing hits together.

No shit Dick Tracy! Where'd you park the prowl car?

ranger_lp said...

Looks like around 700 people there…

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

John didn’t even show up.

ranger_lp said...

Josh just homered…

AboveAverage said...

12 year extension!

AboveAverage said...

Everyone is asleep

Rufus T. Firefly said...

It's ALIVE!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The hitters are definitely asleep.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

...as are the umps. And me in a few minutes.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

AA,

The dozens of people in the stands are absolutely riveted!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Mongo Santa Maria, AA!

You'll be able to pick out my friends tomorrow by shouting their names.

AboveAverage said...

Maybe - but if I’m too loud the stadium police will take me down

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Apparently you are known to them for some reason.

I'm guessing it's not good, like the Yankees' chances tonight.

Joe of AZ said...

This team is azz...Thanks Brian

HoraceClarke66 said...

So sorry I missed that epic.

Celerino: loved the "Miami 2017" reference!!

One of Billy Joel's most underrated and underplayed songs. The MOST underrated? The spectacular, "Say Goodbye to Hollywood."