With draft day here, NYC ponders its annual essential question: How will the Giants screw it up this time?

Today is Joe Don Looney Day, commemorating the most aptly named draft pick in New York Giants history. Looney Day annually bestows hope upon the hopeless, joy upon the joyless and appreciation among those Yank fans who are lucky enough to ignore pro football, as they realize how considerably worse their sporting lives could be.

As a mediocre athlete, I lived my life in fear of being drafted in the first round by the Giants. 

If you're lucky enough to not give a shit about "Big Blue" - which has traditionally been associated with the Yankees (the Mets and Jets forming a similar alignment) - here's what you've missed over the last 12 years.

2013: 7-9 (3rd of 4)
2014: 6-10 (3rd of 4)
2015: 6-10 (3rd of 4)
2016: 11-5 (2nd of 4)
2017: 3-13 (4th of 4)
2018: 5-11 (4th of 4)
2019: 3-12 (4th of 4)
2020: 6-10 (2nd of 4)
2021: 4-13 (4th of 4)
2022: 9-7-1 (3rd of 4)
2023: 6-11 (3rd of 4)
2024: 3-14 (4th of 4)

Horrible, eh? Meltdowns, every third year. If you were trying to destroy a sports franchise, you'd be hard-pressed to match this.

And tonight, the Giants draft 3rd, once again raising the saps of their fans. Draft Day has become, by far, the biggest date on the Giants' calendar. Every year, we draft high, choosing to forget the Rocky Thompsons, the Kadarus Toneys and Looneys of yesteryear. 

(Fun Facts: Joe Don was once named by NFL Films as "the most uncoachable player in history." He skipped team meetings. He punched out coaches. He followed a guru. He once said, "If practice makes perfect, and perfection is impossible, why practice?" I hereby challenge all of you all to answer that essential question.)

(Seriously, for all of Looney's lunacy, he might have simply been ahead of his time, a future flower power child of the 1960s, up against the crew cut, pro-war, military minds of NFL coaching staffs.) 

Nearly every year, in their own way, the Giants honor Looney. Six years ago, they used the 6th pick to select a QB. They blew it. Three years ago, they had two picks in the Top 10. They blew it. Tonight, they'll draft third. Let's face it: They'll blow it. The only question is, how? My guess: They'll draft a 7-foot-tall defense end who turns out to be two dwarfs, piggyback, in a trench coat.

Well, let it rip! We're talking about an ownership that regularly does the impossible: It makes the Steinbrenners look good.

But but BUT... this is a Yankee fan blog. And let's face it: Our heroes have also blown their share of first rounders. In fact, concerns are swirling around the fate of our 2019 first pick - Anthony Volpe, who might be in a minor spring funk, or he might be facing an existential career crossroads. 

Volpe is the Yankiest Yankee on the Yankees. He only knows the Yankee organization.  He hails from the NYC area. He's been anointed to replace a legend, Derek Jeter. He plays hard, always hustles, never misses a game, and - despite the end to the beard ban - has chosen not to grow facial hair. That, my friends, is a Yankified Yankee.

But, fuckme, he's batting .198, and his four HRs came in the first five games (including the 20-6 rout of Milwaukee.) Ever since, he's been awful. Yesterday, he fanned four times. He's swinging raggedy, lunging for balls. He needs a night off. 

Like tonight.

Happy Looney Day, everybody. Joe Don died in 1988. His memory lives on. Enjoy the free time.