Aaron Judge won't miss the next 12 months, and then return at age 34 as a rusty, fulltime DH with scar on his elbow.
Nope. The Yankees say his elbow won't require Tommy John. Its just a "flexor strain" - a tweak, a twitch, a booboo, down where da thigh bone's connected to the hip bone! The Captain will return "this season," which means - August? September? October?
Fortunately, the Yankees never lie. Certainly not to their fans, and especially at the trade deadline. That would be mean.
So yesterday's news is like getting a clean bill of health from Ghislaine Maxwell: There's nothing to see, everybody, it's just a hoax, move on, but please send donations to the Yankees, in care of Hal Steinbrenner.
Yeahp. Yippee. And to celebrate further, the Yankees yesterday plunged even deeper in their pursuit of the AL Wild Card. They traded two more prospects - the Lost Legions of the Yankee Future now stand at four - to Washington for Amed Rosario, the former Met. Apparently, Rosario will replace the comedy team of Ozzie & Jorbit, who led the Yankees' improvisational tribute to the Savannah Bananas.
Yippee. Uh-huh. We're all-in on the '25 wild card because - well - it's a great Yankee tradition, right? Remember Babe Ruth in the Wild Card playoffs? Joe D? Yogi? The Mick. Didn't they hone their legends in those wild card series?
Apparently, there's no need to promote outfielder Spencer Jones from Scranton - (he didn't play yesterday, being bubble-wrapped for a trade?) We'll go with The Martian, Cody Bellinger and Trent Grisham. Batting second will be - well - Amed? Can you catch? Can we find Jake Bauers? Willie Calhoun? Franchy Cordero?
Yesterday, Ghislaine Boone suggested that Judge will miss only the 10-games that he must technically sit out because of the Injured List. Wouldn't it be nice?
If only we could believe that this nightmare summer will end triumphantly. Does anything think so? Excuse me. I need a drink.
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9 comments:
What’s your drink of choice at 8:35 in the morning, ED?
Love “ Ghislaine Boone “
Boone is a goon
The Yanks in a swoon
Judge on the bench
Sign Judi Dench!
Judy Judy Judy
Now lemme tell you a story
The devil he has a plan
A bag a' bones in his pocket
Got anything you want
No dust and no rocks
The whole thing is over
All these beauties in solid motion
All those beauties, gonna swallow you up
Is our Dick Allen going to be at the HOF induction today?
Like Ghasline Boone as well. Captures the pathological nepo theme very well.
Quick Note on the tabloid race - The Mets are going to win easily. As the Yankees drop out of the WC race and the Mets stay in the division race they will close the gap all September and then on into the playoffs. They should win going away.
My status in the community skyrocketed after I moved from Semen Street to Ghislaine (The thoroughfare had a spelling change to honor Trump from Jizz Lane).
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