Monday, October 6, 2025

A poem celebrating the state of professional sports in New York

NEW YORK SPORTS

The Poem



Canker sores
Facial warts.
Bloody wars.
New York sports.


Rectal oozing.
Nightmare dreams.
Always losing
New York teams.


Mets and Yankees
Giants, Jets.
Grab your hankies
Place your bets.


Rigged, unlawful
Criminal courts.
Forever awful
New York sports. 

40 comments:

13bit said...

Weeping here, Duque. Thank you.

JM said...

But...but...Judge says they'll have a big comeback at Yankee Stadium!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

With bitter perfection, thank you L Duque!

BTR999 said...

🤣🤣🤣🤣
I mean, he’s gotta say that…

BTR999 said...

Perhaps we’ll steal a game tomorrow, perhaps not. Either way, be assured the organization will have learned nothing, and there will be no significant changes or real improvements made during the off season. Boone will be back, Volpe will be back, and the cycle will repeat, with the ever increasing prospect of a lockout in ‘27 rushing at us like a freight train.

13bit said...

Soon, my friends, we will be free again...

AboveAverage said...

Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', don't mean nothin' Bub if it ain't Yank’ee, no-no

13bit said...

Oh, feeling good was easy nuff when Boonie drank the booze
Good enough for me and Cashie McGee...

AboveAverage said...

Bla-Bla-Blah, Bla-Bla-Bleh, Bla-Bla-Blah, Bla-Bla-Bla-Bleh
Bla-Bla-Bla-Blah-Bleh, Cashie McGee, yeah

The Hammer of God said...

Well, that was highly predictable! Yankees taken to the Toronto wood shed once again. Thank God this series is a best of five and not a best of seven. Only one more humiliation remaining. I guess my head was correct after all, unlike with the Boston series. I just couldn't go against my heart.

AboveAverage said...

Wait a second . . .

Do you mean that there's little faith here that Rodon can pull us throooo

and out of the abyss ?

Asking for a Hen

(my friend's hen who happens to be an egg laying' Yankee fan)

13bit said...

We can be heroes just for one day…

The Hammer of God said...

What'd I tell ya'll? Yankee killers galore. More and more Yankee killers. More and more and more Yankee killers. Daulton Varsho and Ernie Clement, not exactly household names, but more certified Yankee killers.

It's kind of like the U.S. 8th Cavalry trying to hold the line against hundreds of thousands of Communist Chinese in that freezer up in North Korea, in the demoralizing debacle known as the Battle of Unsan. The 8th Cavalry, formed in 1866 to fight Indians after the Civil War. Now fighting weaponless (and bootless) Commies surging across the Yalu River like hordes of zombies. Commies, rushing to the front lines, picking up weapons (and boots) of their fallen comrades, then rushing onwards again into machine gun fire. They just won't die, General MacArthur. Ultimately, having to concede all of North Korea by doing a "fighting retreat" against 900,000 swarming Commies. MacArthur, coming up with a plan to drop atomic bombs all over Communist China and the U.S.S.R. President Truman being so horrified that he relieves MacArthur of command. Despite sustaining mind-boggling casualty numbers, the Communist hordes ultimately were Yankee killers. Because they got what they wanted: a satellite North Korea to serve as a Communist buffer zone.

The Hammer of God said...

Hell is for heroes

The Hammer of God said...

@AA, You can tell your friend's hen, who is an egg-laying Yankee fan, that the possibility of Rodon surviving the onslaught is maybe ... 1 in 1,000,000. This being baseball, I wouldn't say impossible. But highly unlikely.

Audie Murphy, where are you? We need you now, more than ever.

13bit said...

Wasn't that where the commanding General said they were simply "advancing to the rear?" or was that Chosin?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hammer, there's a great movie/limited TV series to be made about the fighting retreat that the Marines did make in that campaign, hauling their dead along with them. Just saying.

The Hammer of God said...

After this debacle, Luis Gil's performance suddenly don't look so bad, eh?

Gil said he was surprised that Buffoon came out to get him so quick. But Gil's a good soldier: he said Buffoon is the manager; the manager makes the decisions; & this is the playoffs.

The Hammer of God said...

Wow, thanks. I'm gonna watch it for sure.

13bit said...

Wasn't it Arthur MacArthur, Doug's father, who earned his Medal of Honor by picking up his unit's colors and waving it around after it had fallen? Was that the Civil War? And Audie Murphy would be great to have in this situation, but I'd also take Robert Ryan....

HoraceClarke66 said...

"They were coming off a well-played win over Boston," a baffled Michael Kay was saying last night, trying to understand the Yankees (latest) meltdown.

Were they, though? The Yanks in that short series failed again and again in clutch hitting situations, fielded erratically, and showed their bullpen to be as haphazard as ever.

What they got was good to great starting pitching (not to mention a shorthanded and less-than-inspired Boston team and complete home field advantage). When that all vanished, they had nothing against the Blue Jays. It really should not be a surprise.

HoraceClarke66 said...

No, no, I'm saying there WOULD BE such a movie/series to be made. I've been trying to get someone interested for years, but no can do.

The Hammer of God said...

That was the beginning of it. First, they got their butts overrun. Then they had to fight their way out of darkness.

AboveAverage said...

We're nothing, and nothing will help us

Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay

But we could be safer, just for one day

Oh-oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-oh-ohh,

just for one day

AboveAverage said...

If Rodon and Company are able to pweet out a win, I hope that Young Man Schlitt' doesn't come out and get blown out in game four 'cause it might
make things tough in Southie this Win-Tar.

What the prognosis on your chompers, Hoss ?

Hope u R doing Well

The Hammer of God said...

Who's that guy that makes great documentaries? Ken Burns. Gotta get him to do it. There are some good documentaries about the fighting retreat but they don't get the same airplay on PBS as most other wars. When they call Korea the forgotten war, they're not kidding.

The Hammer of God said...

Wow, thanks, 13bit. I didn't even know that about MacArthur's father. Wiki says it was the Battle of Missionary Ridge, 11/25/1863, Civil War. He was 18 at the time, and when he was brevetted colonel the following year at age 19, he became known as "the boy Colonel".

The Hammer of God said...

Oh yeah, Hoss. Just saw that about your face plant. Wow, sorry to hear about that. You're fortunate it wasn't even worse than that. Get well soon & make a full recovery. We're all pulling for you!

The Hammer of God said...

Michael Kay is a bonafide idiot. Or maybe he has to bleed Yankees because of his job. All year the Yankees have had their butts handed to them by the Blue Jays. What the hell's he been watching all year?

The Hammer of God said...

Now the Bronx Bastards are 5-10 against the Jays this year. Don't need a calculator to figure that winning %. A whopping .333!!!

13bit said...

I think we have collectively come up with the perfect description for the 2025 season: "New York Yankees - 2025: Advance to the Rear"

The Hammer of God said...

Robert Ryan was awesome! One of my faves is "The Proud Ones". Nothing really spectacular in there but a very enjoyable western. I just wiki'ed him and found out he was heavyweight boxing champion of Dartmouth College for all four years! Unbelievable!

The Hammer of God said...

Good One!!! +++1

13bit said...

We’re the Battling Bastards of the Bronx,
No hitting, no bullpen, no coaching no conchs.
No metrics, no trainers, no management wizards,
No brains, no clutch it’s just chicken gizzards,
And nobody gives a honk.

The Hammer of God said...

13bit, you're on fire today! En Fuego!

13bit said...

As are YOU, HOG! I should be working on something. Ugh.

Piiax said...
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Piiax said...

It ain't over til it's over
As old Yogi used to say
when the Yankees were good
and earned their pay.

Now it's over, yes over
the very first day
Even though Mr. Boone
says hip hip hooray!

Doug K. said...
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Doug K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.