Jeepers, Duque, who died and made you Pope? It's just April, and you're already Chicken Littling? Everything is groovy. Gerrit Cole and Anthony Volpe will soon return, the Captain is hot, and Ben Rice is not an optical illusion. The Martian is crushing Triple A, and Tampa's lead will not hold. If we sweep KC - who has lost four straight - we'll be back in tall cotton, and why are you clutching your pearls? Everything is okay...
For starters, you people are fools.
The glass isn't half empty. It's dusty. The Yanks just split with the Angels - the Mets of LA - after flopping against the Oakland Sacramento Vegas A's. The schedule is about to turn nasty, as we head to Fenway. April offered a chance to get out in front, to put some wins between us and axis of evil, the hateful Rays, Jays, O's and Redsocks. That's not gonna happen.
A coupla things here...
1. Against LA, ex-Yank Oswald Peraza was our returning Babadook, homering and playing 3B - still our positional black hole - and reminding the world of how this organization eats its prospects. Three years ago, the Yankees threw Peraza overboard in a haze of false hope, as they anointed Volpe as the next great Yankee. Not only did they squander Peraza, but they foisted homecoming bullshit on Volpe, creating expectations that would crush any young player.
I still wonder if Volpe can ever star in NY, overcoming the hype that preceded him and - thus far - has defined him.
That said, let Peraza remind us of all the ex-Yankees out there, waiting like sleeper cells, to take revenge on the team that long ago popped their virginity. This week, in Boston, specifically, beware of Caleb Durbin. He's been terrible thus far - .127 - but so has been the entire team. I say, launch a blockade. Don't let him get on base.
2. Trout's five HRs against us should remind us that a bunch of major stars have not awakened from winter hibernation. There's no place for a breakout like NYC. On that note, beware Bobby Witt Jr., who has yet to homer in 2026.
3. An interesting aspect of Volpe's rehab in Somerset - televised last night on YES - is the yin-yang with top prospect George Lombard Jr. In his first rehab start, Volpe played 3B, with Lombard at SS. Last night, they switched, with Lombard at 3B, (Volpe went 1-3, and Lombard - who is absolutely crushing it - hitting .415 - went 2-4.)
The Yankee infield is a jumbled mess. Ryan McMahon cannot hit. Amed Rosario cannot field. Jazz Chisholm cannot think. Volpe is coming. Lombard could follow. Crazy world. But May is coming.
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Lomard, The Martian, free-swinging Spencer, Lagrange and Rodriguez cannot arrive too quickly. But they will arrive too late. It's the Yankee Way.
I stand at 74 wins. This is Yankees 1967, but without the fun stuff...
That good stuff that I am seekin'
It's got me peakin' and it's got me freakin'
Watch my lips I am speakin'
It's got me trickin' and it's got me treatin'!
Good stuff, gimmie some of that good stuff
Good stuff, gimmie some of that good stuff
Good stuff, gimmie some of that good stuff
Good stuff, gimmie some of that good stuff
Why would they have Volpe playing 3B? I guess because, in this Yankee Wonderland, everyone must play everywhere. What a joke this organization has become. Ben Rice better watch out. Soon they'll have Volpe at 1B.
Soon Cashman will invent the Yankee Roulette, where all nine players change positions on every pitch. That's right, even the pitcher will change positions on every pitch. So that would make all the other players into pitchers too. This, to confuse the opposition and make playing against the Yankees a nightmare. Cashman thinks that this will be the next great innovation in modern baseball.
Come to think of it. they can also put nine pitchers out there all at once. That way, if any one of them doesn't have it, they merely rotate him off the pitcher's mound and there are eight other pitchers they could try. Since it's all strikeout, walk or home run, defense should not make any difference. Brilliant, eh?
Yesterday, 1st inning, Grisham made out, Judge hit his home run, right? Don't you love Judge hitting #2? Yes, bases empty homers give Cashman and Boone orgasms.
If Judge hits #3, there is a much higher chance of him hitting with a man on base in the 1st inning. We've been over this before many times. I think we figured it at something like 58%, if the two guys in front have .350 on base percentages. If he hits #2, then it's only 35% chance that the leadoff man is on base. (This is assuming that no one in front of Judge homers or hits into a double play, but you get the point.)
And by hitting #2, did Judge get that extra at-bat in the 9th with the Yankees trailing by seven? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.350 on base % = 65% chance of making out
So .65 X .65 = .4225, which is the chance that both #1 and #2 made out.
The inverse of that is .58 (or .5775 for you perfectos out there)(1-.4225), which is the chance that at least one man reached base in front of Judge hitting #3. Take that, Cashman, Boone & Yankee analytic assholes!
How many times this year already has Judge homered in the 1st inning? Already quite a few. How many times has it been a solo homer? By my count, he's hit one two run homer and a bunch of solo homers. He's only hit #3 once this year, and that time he didn't homer in the 1st. So the other times, those solo homers coulda been two run homers, and the two run homer coulda been a three run homer.
How many times has Judge come up in the Yankees' last chance at-bat this year because he was hitting #2? Uh, like ZERO!!!
Zero the hero! Courtesy of Black Sabbath:
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
And I was listening to this one last night (Led Zeppelin):
How many more times
Treat me the way you wanna do?
When I give you all I got to give
[Base hits, home runs,] and awwwwwwlllllllllllllllllllll
From the Athletic: “former Yankee Oswald Peraza had five hits — the same number his replacement at third base, Ryan McMahon, has all season…”
Judge did bat third the other night.
(Must of been a communications error. I’m fairly certain that those who were responsible for that lineup catastrophe were suitably reprimanded)
Why then, the responsible parties, in the immortal words of El Maestro, should be whipped, flogged, and flagellated!
And I don't know what the hell is going on with the base running. Grisham, why the hell is he trying to steal with all or nothing hitter Stanton up at the plate? Coulda been a three run homer, instead of a two run homer there.
And when Boone told the batters to "be aggressive" with the ABS challenges, I knew that would be bad, real bad. Grisham and Chisholm, using up all the challenges by the 3rd inning. Effing brilliant, eh?
And who was that who got thrown out trying to stretch, Bellinger? They're already in mid-season form with the lousy base running.
Honestly HoG, there’s likely a better way to describe it 🤣
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