Genius: They found a sponsor for the legal disclaimer

Fresh off Godzilla's Benihana Steak House pitch and the new “Yankee Radio Network driven by Jeep” comes the greatest revenue generator yet.

Last night, Suzyn Waldman sandwiched the usual rights blah-blah-blah -- you know: "Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this game without the express written consent of the Yankees is prohibited" -- between a pitch for some law firm.

It's brilliant. It's stunning. It's America! It sounds as if the law firm has taken the time, because they care about the Yankees, about baseball -- and about you, the listener -- to remind everybody that if you screw with the Yankees, they will sue your grimey butt.

This is the greatest thing that has ever happened.

We are about to enter a brave new world.

"Struck him out! Kei Igawa! Because every kiss begins with Kei."

"It is... gone. Once again, America runs on Shelley Duncan!"

"Over to first... in time! Once again, we're in good hands with Derek Jeter!"

"It is... gone! There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's A-Rod!"

"Chien-Ming Wannnnnnnnnng! So good that cats ask for him by name!"

"Base hit! Just say Cano!"

"Strike three! Quality is Joba one!"

"Melky Cabrera! All the sugar and twice the caffeine!"

"Home run! Jason Giambi! So easy a Caveman can do it!"

Who Blew Spitzer In?

Last week, four people were slapped with federal prostitution charges for running "Emperor’s Club V.I.P.” and today New York Governor Eliot Spitzer admitted he’s been “involved” in a prostitution ring.



Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn.



Exactly how did Spitzer’s name wind up on federal court papers?


Did a former prosecutor and attorney general really stumble into the dragnet -- or did the feds get a tip-off?


If the feds had help, chances are that Spitzer, as usual, got on somebody’s nerves. But whose?


THE SUSPECTS:

Was it one of the OTHER JOHNS who had to be “Client 10” was angry because Spitzer jumped the line and got to be “Client 9”?

One of THE COMPETITION might have dimed him. When Spitzer was attorney general, he busted a few prostitution rings, himself -- perhaps a madam with her nose bent out of joint ratted him out as revenge for restraint of trade.

Did a MEMBER OF HIS STAFF blow the whistle? Maybe a hard-working administration employee just wanted his boss to step down for once.

Or was it one of THE HOOKERS who got tired about how Albany doesn’t love him and how he's outgrown Albany and how Albany is so…cold


If only there were a silver lining.

Hey, WAIT!

Looking on the bright side, there are NO ALLEGATIONS WHATSOEVER that Spitzer
was part of the international pedophilia ring
that was also busted today.

No doubt Spitzer's press office is thanking heavens for small favors.

And the ladies still love him...

...though perhaps not the one he's married to at present.

Wholly Toledo!

Based on a suggestion from Yankees Sr. VP Hank "Hank" Steinbrenner, super-secret agent Scott "Time Master" Boras is evaluating the possibility of signing his client, Alex "The Cooler" Rodriguez to the Toledo Mudhens. The team is reportedly considering their options.

Made famous by their #1 fan, Cpl. Max Klinger (below) of the 4077 M.A.S.H unit of the United States Army (Ret.), the beloved Ohio-based team has already envisioned the former NY Yankee third basemen entering the Hall Of Fame as a Mudhen.