El Duque, Dude, You've Already Posted The Yankee Of The Month Poll & It's Barely The 28th & The Discussion Wasn't Finished & I Am Seriously P.O'd.

SERIOUSLY.

Because I was out all day and THINKING about the matter --

As I SHOULD, and AS I SHOULD BE GIVEN TIME TO --

And I came to the rational, unavoidable conclusion that John Sterling, The Voice Of The Yankees, gave us another amazing month and deserves the chance to be the FIRST REPEAT YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH --

And then I came hone -- home, not hone, I'm so mad I can't even type words right -- to find that THE EFFING POLL HAD ALREADY BEEN POSTED WITHOUT EVEN LETTING MORE THAN HALF A DAY PASS AFTER THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE FRAUDULENT "NOMINATING PROCESS" --

I ASK EVERY HONORABLE YANKEE FAN TO JOIN ME IN DEMANDING THAT EL DUQUE NULLIFY THE VOTE AND RESTART THE POLL WITH VOICE OF THE NEW YORK YANKEES JOHN STERLING IN HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE AS A JUNE YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH NOMINEE.

Because this makes me fucking SICK.

WHO'S WITH ME?

Update: Plus, you ignored half the effing nominees nominated in the effing so-called nomination thread.

El Duque, the question needs asking:

WHO THE EFF DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

George W. Bush Makes Excuses

As his presidency limps toward the finish line, there are still pressing matters for W to address, including “easing the transition” (giving White House tours, deleting emails), building his legacy (leaving unwell-enough alone), and availing himself of one of the most awesome perks of his office or the Pope’s (the ability to forgive and absolve completely and irrevocably).

Yes, one of the few superpowers remaining to a lame duck is the power to grant clemency. As with most things, W trails his predecessors. Clinton let 456 miscreants off the hook. Reagan pardoned 406. This week, Bush played catch-up by issuing clemency and pardons for 16 humans and two turkeys.



What's George W. Bush’s idea of a pardonable crime?



Actually, there are a few:



Devin Timothy Kruse – AWOL



Jackie Ray Clayborn, Roger Paul Ingram – illegal drugs charges

Joseph Daniel Gavin – disorderly conduct while under the influence of alcohol

Lewis Libby – obstruction of justice



Pumpkin and Pecan – a real turkey

A song

Sung to 'Hot Cross Buns'

Dou-ble play
Dou-ble play
Hit a grounder
Watch us flounder
Dou-ble play

Bad at-bats
Bad at-bats
The bases loaded
Two out strikeout
Bad at-bats

Gi-am-bi
Gi-am-bi
Can't keep swinging
Point-Oh-fifty-six
Gi-am-bi

4-Year Old Aaron Has Got To Do Better

He can name Abreu but not Wang?

The future looks grim indeed.

Oh My God! Edwar Added Me As A MySpace Friend!!

I'll let you use this link to the page of the greatest Yankee ever, my friend Edwar Ramirez! But don't you try to come between us, because you'd just be wasting your time!

Jesus Toucheth them All

Seventeen-year-old Jesus Montero, the millionaire future Yankee savior, hit HOME RUN NUMBER TWO for the Gulf Coast team Saturday.

Dead centerfield.

Or as John Sterling someday will say....

It is high... it is holy... IT ART IN HEAVEN.

Amen.

Yankeeblogography Special Edition: Where are they now?

One of the most enjoyable aspects of fannery is following old-timers after their Pinstriped days have ended. Turns out, Thursday was a big night for some big names of yesteryear.

Matt DeSalvo, in his hotly anticipated return to Scranton (formerly Columbus), gave up 7 runs (6 earned) on 8 hits and 3 walks in 5 2/3 innings.

TJ "Moon" Beam, of the famous 2006 Yankee collapse club, followed the Boston Strangler and gave up 3 runs on 4 hits, with just one walk... all in a mere 1 and 1/3 innings.

Tyler Clippard, remember him from the great Met win of 2007?, now at Double A Trenton where he dominated last year, went three innings, surrendering 3 runs on 4 hits and two walks. TClip left with an injury.

Oh, well, as sidenote: A day after testifying before Congress, Alberto Gonzalez was 1 for 5 with 2 strikeouts at Trenton. He taps phones better than opposing pitchers.

Will Joba Chamberlain wilt?

Back to Mexico

Our man of the hour, Edwar Ramirez, gave credibility to his past tonight. He has not thrown a strike in anger since his opening 3K debut. He did groove one for Dioner no power, the Tampa catcher, who promptly planted a grand slam in the seats. The first of his life.

The coaching staff, beginning with Mr. Torre, must have forgotten about this young man on more levels than one since his early July debut, for it is clear that he has not eaten in the 3 weeks he has been a Yankee. He was blown toward first base as he brought up his leg in preparation for delivering a ball ( and the ball ) to the plate. Even the reference to an eating surface is distracting to him. I think he threw 27 straight balls.

I have sent him a Greyhound ticket ( only 32 stops ) to Nogales where, on every Tuesday morning, a bus wil leave for the southern desert town of Slingalos, Mexico. The prarie league there remains independent and is open to all those of great heart. Tacos are good and a string band plays at Sunday games. The fan base is sparse, particularly at bean picking time, but they love baseball and regard anyone from the major leagues as a local hero.

Keep up your spirits, Edwar. You made the big time.

Adios and carumba.

In the only game that mattered yesterday...

... THE GULF COAST LEAGUE YANKEES WON.... THUHHHHHHHHH GULF COAST LEAGUE YANKEES WON!

And oh, what a wonderful win it was!

OF Andres (The Giant) Perez slammed his 3rd HR of the season, and Li'l Melky Mesa knocked in a runner with big triple, leading the Gulf Coast Yanks to a big 4-0 win over the GCL Indians. Li'l Melky's hitting a crisp (as in Coco) .196!

On the mound, 18-year-old Jairo Heredia, keeping alive the great Yankee tradition of Heredias (Felix, of course) hurled 5 innings of one-hit, shutout ball!


Then they brought in "First" Noel Castillo, who pitched the rest of the way and gave up only three hits. He's 23. What the hell is he doing in A ball?



CONGRATULATIONS, GULF COAST LEAGUE YANKEES, CURRENTLY FIRST PLACE IN THE GLC NORTH DIVISION!

Yankees Mining Youth in Scranton

The good people of Scranton, Pa., marching in support of their Yankees.

As we speak, a peach-fuzzed army of burgeoning Yankee stars is under construction in the hardscrabble mining country of Eastern Pennsylvania, where chain-smoking men daily plumb the Stygian depths to bring up chunks of clean-burning coal.

Here, Tyler "T-Clip" Clippard is learning the art of pitching.

Here, Eric "former first round pick" Duncan is perfecting the craft of firstsacker.

From this hard-burning world, Yankee star pitcher Edwar "Canny" Ramirez evolved.

During this All-Star Break, we salute our AAA city to the West, the Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees of the International League. MINE US A CHAMPIONSHIP!

Shea It Ain't So

Andy makes faces at Melky and takes out full-page ads against Proctor.

Rocket throws high hard ones at the kids crossing his lawn, then mistakenly mails his son's graduation check to the power company.

Damon and Abreu watch sad movies, eat raw cookie dough and do each other's hair.

Who can you turn to when the ship is sinking?

Why, a big ol' tube of clubhouse glue!

PROFILE OF WIL NIEVES: Moose-Man Chases .150 in Fasano's Shadow

As personal backstop to Number 3 ace Mike Mussina, young Yankee catcher Wil Nieves continues to impress fans with his steaming hot bat and always-sticky mitt.

Following a tepid spring, Wil "dialed-her-up" in June, blasting his way to a solid .111 batting average, though it's still below his personal goal of .150. Also, Wil is still chasing his first 2007 four-bagger, though that "zero" HR total belies several monstrous foul balls, warning track bombs and sky-high pop-ups, the likes of which have old-time ballfans reminiscing of Jason Giambi in his pinstriped heyday.

Along with that magical but elusive .150 goal, the Puerto Rican-born Nieves must also chase the colorful ghosts of former Yankee back-up backstops John Flaherty (now a YES commentator) and the slow but beloved platemaster Sal Fasano, who is now practicing his craft somewhere in the minors. Needless to say, George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman consider Wil an untouchable in trades, in part because of the way he handles former all-star hurler Mike "Moose" Mussina.

As the Moose's personal backstop, Wil has called several fine games, outwitting batters and coaxing the fireballing Moose into an astounding 4.92 earn run average. It's the perfect chemistry of youth and wisdom!

Here's to Wil Nieves, who at only 29, is part of the Yankee Youth Movement of 2007, which is destined to make the future as exciting as the past.

Atta, boy, Wil!

Failure? Wil won't!