Smut Alert

Ken Singleton and his pretty sex-blogger wife got "together" with gerbilicious Richard Gere!

No To YES

The Steinbrenner family's raunchy internet sex site, YESNetwork.com, has been letting its fans droop with post after post about food and food. I know that binge eating helps sublimate lust. I applaud this course for certain people. But that is not what a porn site is for.

Meanwhile, hot Kimberly Jones is left to carry the whole, er, load herself with continued public yearnings for the body of married Paul O'Neill, who barely knows she's alive. Humiliating indeed, but is this enough to chill K-Jo's hotness? Not to the pervert who tweets for YES:

"Spend" a "night" with Kimberly Jones? I'm as sex-positive as the next libertine, but I say to YES: NO!

Not Much To Recommend Tonight At The Steinbrenner Family's Naughty Internet Sex Site, Yesnetwork.com...

...Except for some only slightly skanky pictures of aging "Baseball Annie" Alyssa Milano...

...And a long story about Ken Singleton and his pretty sex-blogger wife ruining her mother's possible big chance to ride the 'stache of hunky Tom Selleck.

With prurient pickings this paltry, ask any Yankee fan with a penchant for pleasure: the barely-legal, bangalicious Yu Darvish can't get to the Bronx fast enough!

The Very Thought Of Yu

According to MLB Trade Rumors, the Yankees launched a threesome of randy voyeurs Japanward to leer at Yu Darvish, the barely-legal, bangalicious ace of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters.  The big mystery: were our sexed-up scouts ordered to picture Yu in pinstripes? Or out of them, somewhere deep inside the Steinbrenner family's raunchy internet smut site?

YES Smutwatch

Over at the Steinbrenner family's raunchy internet sex site yesnetwork.com, bald Chris Shearn spent the Lord's Day high-fiving A-Rod for going to strip clubs and banging Madonna. Seriously. I'm not exaggerating. He also has this hot hate going for Selena Roberts, the kind that could just explode into lust any second.


Meanwhile, the one-track mind of Kimberly Jones celebrated the miracle that is Paul O'Neill's body:

This I already can tell you: O'Neill's waist looks fine at 32 inches...

This is a kind of porn some people like, I guess. Crazy kinky world!

Yanks Say YES To Smutty Pix

Big news today on the Yankees' filthy internet sex site yesnetwork.com! Studio anchor Bob Lorenz, whose porn name is "Jinxie," bought or expensed one of those digital cameras in order to "ambush the guys and ladies in the control room" and "fire off some shots" of something. So next time your phone beeps, pick up; it's probably a sext from "Jinxie!"

UPDATE! UPDATE! K-Jo is raffling off Michael Kay's body! Possibly to the wrong sex!

To be perfectly honest, there was one question I did stay away from: Is Michael Kay single? He's not married, obviously, but I didn't know how much of his personal life I should reveal. So, after the chat, I tell Kay this and he wasn't happy with me. He wants the world to know he's single. Single! Ladies, you still have a chance. The line forms to the right.

YOU GOT THAT SINGLE LADIES?

I Effing TOLD You YES Is A Sex Site

Maxim? Shirtless? FRANCESA?

Kimberly's live sex chat is archived here. For Francesaphile perverts only.

When YES Doesn't Exactly Mean Yes

The front page of the Yankees' internet sex site, yesnetwork.com, features a clip from a naked video of someone named Nick Stripper. There must be a button you can click and pay $2,500 to watch the rest, but I can't find it on my WebTV and it's not something I feel comfortable asking the kids to figure out.

There's not much action anywhere else on the site today. Ken Singleton spent one night at home with his pretty sex-blogger wife and, from the sound of it, got nothing. Meanwhile, Kimberly Jones stowed away on the Yankees' Bang Plane, where old Phil Coke begged her for some sex act called a "fire drill." I don't even know what that is! Anyway, K-Jo brushed him off, preferring to leer at the under-24s and fantasize that "Joba and Hughes could be very, very good for each other" while letting Brian Bruney touch her keyboard.

This is not enough for the perverts who practically live at yesnetwork.com. They're actually starting to beg:




The Yankees need to fix this.

Tonight On Yankpornography

Raunchy internet smut site yesnetwork.com, best known for Ken Singleton's wife's sex blog, is running a thing called Girls Of NY Sports Bars. There's no permalink, so hurry over to the front page and  scroll down-low before Interpol raids the Yankees' offshore server farm.