Thursday, August 23, 2007

Yankeetorial: USA Today Does Voodoo Math

USA Today today, (not yesterday, but today!) annoints the Boston Red Socks as "King of the Road" in America, claiming they now draw the most fans per game in opposing ballparks.

According to the America's most colorful fishwrap...

This year the Sox are surging again and averaging 39,136 in road attendance. That's about 1,300 more than the Yankees draw in road games, and nearly 2,000 more than the Sox drew in road games in 2005, when they were the defending World Series champs.

Unfortunately, the numbers manage to ignore one little item:

The 19,000-seat disparity between Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park.

In other words... When we play at Fenway seven times a season, each game is a sellout -- at about 37,000. IT LOWERS THE YANKEES' ROAD AVERAGE.

When the Red Socks play in New York, they draw 56,000 per game. That bumps up their average considerably.

Take out the Yankee-Red Sox series, and do the math. The Yankees are ahead. At best, it's a wash for Boston.

OK, SO HERE'S THE DEAL, USA TODAY:

If you want to write an enterprise feature along the lines of, "O boy! Lookit, everybody, WOW, how neat those Red Socks are!" fine. Go ahead. It's a free country. Add a pie chart and show some of those wacky, wonderful face-painted Red Sock fans.

But don't make the numbers jump through hoops, OK? That's the job of the federal government.

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. A SCANDAL. PEOPLE SHOULD LOSE THEIR JOBS OVER THIS. NOW.

CORRECTION! NOW! RETRACTION! NOW!

2 comments:

Stang said...

Dizzied by their road attendance, John Sterling once called the Yankees "The Beatles Of Baseball." And now it seems baseball has its Monkees.

Anonymous said...

Curt Schilling and his wife take turns reading good night stories to their daughter.

One night after the story was finished, his daughter says, "goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy, goodnight grandma and goodby grandad." When asked by Curt why she said goodby to her grandad, the little girl said, " I don't know."

The next day, news came of the grandad's passing. A few nights later, Curt finished reading a story and his daughter
said, " goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy and goodby grandma."

The next day, sadly, news of her grandma's passing came. Curt, now convinced that his daughter had a channel open to the other side, began to worry what would come next.

A few weeks later, Curt finished reading the usual goodnight story, and his daughter said , " good night mommy, goodby daddy."

All the next day, Curt fretted and paced. He washed his socks He threw batting practice. He promised he would never again throw at Derek Jeter. He figured he would be OK if he could just make it to midnight.

Early the next morning, about 2:00am, Curt was up splashing Ketchup on his sock again when his wife asked what had been troubling him.

"I thought this was going to be my last day," he said. And I was worried. But I feel better now. How was your day?

" Fine , " his wife replied,
but we are going to have to get a new guy for the kitchen work. Our carpenter died yesterday."

- Theodore Epstein